One thing I've been wondering is this: how do you know if others know you're gay? Everyone I came out to was really surprised because they had no idea I'm gay. After I came out a couple of my friends would point out a couple of "gay" things I do, but for the most part they would insist that I don't "act" or seem "gay" at all. On the other hand, by overhearing some conversations, it's quite apparent that for some individuals my homosexuality is quite apparent. I honestly think that in certain situations or moods I display some more stereotypical traits. So there's always so much talk about gaydar, a certain fixation on being able to discern whether or not others are gay (mine is superb, by the way). However, how do you know if others can tell if you yourself are gay? I often wonder if others—gay or straight—can figure me out.
I really don't think people can figure out I am gay, and I'm not the straightest acting guy there is, I think it is just a few traits I have that rarely gay guys or even straight guys have I guess. I am not top concerned with my appearance, I don't use moisturizers, or any of that crap, use shitty equipment to shave..etc, most guys I know put a lot more effort into their appearance than me. So I think that is one way it is hard to tell with me; my hair is never styled, I hate dressing up fancy like HATE it, I hate shopping as well. I don't know shit about pop culture. I don't have a cell phone or feel the need to get one no matter how much is annoys everyone. I don't have facebook or participate in any mass social networking. I am very loud and boisterous and can come off as aggressive. I am friends with and get along with mainly guys, I find many women to be very inaccessible no offense and find I understand male mind set more. I like spiders and they fascinate me ; I know kind of trivial but just an example. I am stereotypically homosexual in the following ways. I am really sensitive to other peoples feelings, and just anythings feelings. I am more creative than most and people used to tell my parents I was going to be gay as a child based on how into music and art I was. I really think it would be very difficult for someone to find me gay without hanging out with me for a few months. I know a lot of gay guys say that, but I really do think I fly udner the radar for the most part which is why it is easier for me to be in the closet. If I were more obvious I am sure I would've been out by now. I've only been asked if I was gay because of my blatant indifference to females.
I've had lots of boyfriends in the past and if people are discussing their college days, there's often mention of some funny story with some guy. I'm not married and don't have kids but I have many friends in the same situation that are straight. I hate how people wonder if you aren't married or have kids by a certain age. I also find it funny how people assume that if you have kids, you are straight. I'm a strong, confident woman but I look like any straight woman. I don't think people wonder if I'm gay. I do think that when/if they find out at work, they wouldn't be surprised because I'm very reserved about my personal life.
