Okay, so I've never been with a woman, be there are definitely feelings and fantasies there. I have an internship at this local artist community building in my city. I'm helping out a sculptor with her work. When we first started working together, I thought she was the most beautiful creature to walk this earth. She has amazing music taste, great morals, hilarious sense of humor, we agree on almost everything. She was talking about her ex one day and it sounded pretty negative. So I chimed in and said, "Oh, so I take it, you broke up with him?" She looked at me and goes, "You mean her? Oh God. Didn't I tell you? I'm a lesbian." I'm pretty sure that was the happiest moment of my life. There is a slight problem... She is 33... and well... I'm 18. I know some crazy things happen sometimes, but is that too much? Do I have a shot? HELP!
Thats awesome I think age does matter, but not the number. It matters if you two are in completely different parts of your life. Like if you're still in highschool and she had kids (which it sounds like she doesn't). Or if you were a wild and crazy party kid and she was really really responsible and focused on her job. I say just go with what feels natural. Numbers are numbers. People are people.
Well, we are most definitely in different parts of our life. She has an apartment, she is a waitress, she goes to her studio and works on her sculptures, she drinks a bit, but it doesn't bother me. She's responsible about it. I just graduated from high school, starting college classes in a few months, still live with my mom. Hmm. I'm just afraid that if I try to pursue my feelings and she doesn't feel the same, that it will ruin my internship... and it's really going to help my future. hmm.
If you are going to be friends there's nothing wrong. A crush isn't bad, either. However, you really need to be careful when someone is significantly older than you. There's a much longer lost of red flags. If you keep it casual/fun, then that's one thing. But in no place or time can you not admit that you're both at very different life stages. You aren't wrong in any means. I love slightly older guys (I'm 20... 25-28 would be fine by me) but you just have to watch out more.
I STRONGLY advise you to NOT pursue this until your internship is over. And honestly? I don't think it's a good idea afterwards either. You're in very different places in life and dating someone significantly older can mean missing out on experiences and personal development you should be going through. I said that as someone that has dated someone 15 years older than me. You can absolutely have a meaningful connection who's much older than you but it usually doesn't evolve into a healthy or balanced relationship. But let me repeat the important part I STRONGLY advise you to NOT pursue this until your internship is over.
Yeah, I agree that you ought to wait until the internship is over. But maybe then you can ask her out for a cup of coffee? You are both adults, so there`s nothing wrong with pursuing a romantic relationship. However, you might before then want to put some thought into the compatibility factor. The mental age of two people matters, and if you are both in completely different phases of your lives then it can very much complicate things, and cause it to be a negative experience. Are you planning to stay in the town, or travel for college or other jobs? Is she sticking around? There are some other questions as well, but those are hard to answer before one actually tries dating the person, like what kind of relationship she`s looking for, compared to what you are looking for. Then again, an emotional fling can be exciting and at least make you less questioning, and more sure about your sexuality. However, at the age of 33 she might not want to be someone`s testing subject Especially if she has a failed relationship behind her that she might have invested heavily in. Then again, it`s almost impossible to know until you`ve talked with her about it over a cup of coffee. So, give it a little more time, don`t do anything that could be damaging for your internship and think about it in the meantime. When it`s over, and if you then feel strongly about it, then yeah, go for it. Relationships where there`s a high age difference have statistically low chances of succeeding, but it still happens every now and then, and maybe she`s not ready for something serious anyhow. You never know!
