I've been struggling with depression, anxiety, anorexia, and bulimia for over a year now, and I'm thinking of my life ending more and more, to the point where I can spend all day thinking about it. I don't think I'd act on it now, but I'm worried that it'll worsen. I don't want to kill myself, but I'm scared these thoughts will develop further. I know I need to see a counsellor, but my biggest fear is that all of these issues, and my sexuality, will be told to my parents, or get out to my school. I feel so ashamed with these thoughts and my eating disorder, and the last thing I want is for it to get out.
It is good that you are thinking clearly. And you are right to be cautious about confidentiality if you are 15. But depending on your locality you may be able to get assurances about speaking "in confidence" before you tell all. Just to check they're not going to tell. The other thing you could consider is telling your parents - are you ready for that and do you think they would react OK. Another way is to mention the eating issues and keep the sexuality angle for another day? Maybe confidentiality rules change once you turn 16 I don't know. If nothing else ... keep talking anonymously here in EC in a safe environment .. I hope it all works out. Sorry you are suffering. You deserve better and I am sure you will find a way.
Well certainly I am not telling you anything you don't know then. You are 15 and your parents WOULD have access to your records if they requested. With that said, a good therapist would try to give your parents the smallest possible information conveyed to them. With that said... See a therapist. It's a dangerous spiral that you could be on. A person who thinks of their own death over the course of an entire day has much to discuss. You ARE NOT crazy. You ARE NOT sick. You simply have some things causing you to fall down and apart. I know this is a sticky situation for you and I am not you so I can't understand what's in your head but those thoughts can manifest and I would be scared to lose what seems like a lovely person like yourself. Also, on the subject of school release. There should be no reason the kids at school should ever learn of what you discuss in therapy unless someone tells them specifically. Good luck...take some time to breathe and if you want to discuss the process of therapy or have questions, feel free to post here or wall me Foxface
yeh, i agree with foxface the counsellor or therapist is very likely to be sensitive and keep it confidential ... or nobody would see them! just discuss confidentiality question - so you are reassured - before you tell all a therapist could do a lot to help you let us know how it goes?? (*hug*)
