So I just turned 16 and I'm out to a handful of friends which went really well. But I can't find the confidence to come out to 'everyone' (ie. everyone in my year at school) or my family. All my straight friends have girlfriends/boyfriends and the problem is because very few people know I'm gay and nobody else in my year has come out to my knowledge, it's like impossible to find a gay friend, let alone a boyfriend. On the one hand I don't know if I could manage coming out to everyone but on the other hand I desperately want a boyfriend and a relationship while I'm still young. I can't help but feel like the start of my life has been wasted because I'm gay - I can't honestly be who I am to most people or find a boyfriend. I know I'll be able to get in a relationship in my twentys, but I really want to go out with a really cute guy while I'm still in my teens I just don't know what to do. Any advice? Anybody else felt like this?
Do the people who know your gay support you ? if so that may be all the support you need to come out , it not just wanting to find a boyfriend that should encourage you to come out but also wanting to enjoy your teen years as much as you can and not be hurt by pretending to be someone your not. I wish I had come out earlier than I did because at 21 I realised I could have come out at 14 and people would have supported me I just spent 7 years torturing myself worrying what there reactions would be. On the other hand you didn't say what your family is like if they are right wing extremist, very religious or just homophobic and you rely on them for support I would put it off as they could make your life difficult, even then having your friends now can relieve come of the stress and mayby get you a boyfriend at the same time
Hi -Your life is not wasted at 16. I'm in my 40's. Been totally out for a few weeks.I am so excited about my future. We all want to find love. At 16 my closet did not even have a visible door. I'm so proud of you!!!! Be patient- the right guy will come into your life when you least expect it. Really. Yes that sounds like something a Mom would say. I am a Mom. A gay Mom. Trust me. (*hug*)
At 16 you shouldn't be focusing on dating, you can still have fun ...etc at your age without dating like all your friends. You are still able to be youthful and party. Though dating may be a challenge it is not every 16 year old's priority believe me. Patience is key because if you expect to come out and get a boyfriend instantly you will be disappointed. Having a relationship isn't something you should rush for the sake of it, otherwise you may be forming one that is based on desperation rather than real emotion. I had the same feelings at your age, that you are squandering your youth, and that being gay is holding back, and though the latter may be slightly true, it only is if you let it be. You are not squandering your youth if you just enjoy it instead of worrying about being like everyone else and having a relationship. 16 year old relationships are very finnicky, and I doubt you will find true love at that age, especially when you don't even know yourself that way, it takes time and patience and being an adult before you can really really love someone. Not saying youth are incapable it is just based on their mindset and just how emotional teens are anyways because of hormones that love seems attainable and all you want. It's called growing up, your feelings will subside as you grow older and realize that there is more to life.
Thank you for those reassuring posts. I guess I will just try and enjoy my life during as well as after the coming out process!
