Hi, I've posted before about my depression/anxiety and eating disorders (sorry if I'm being a nuisance), and I think I'm going to go through a really tough period. I cut myself on the side of my ankle today (I have spent a while wanting to cut, instead of using food and weight to cope), and I really don't want to go down that path. I know I need to see a counsellor, but I just can't do it, and I would rather kill myself than have my family know (they would never respect me again). I'm so sorry I keep posting, but I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to give in somehow, and everything just seems too much. I've managed to keep purging to a minimum, but I either eat nothing or everything, and I just want to end it all now, and have it over with. I feel so worthless and selfish, and I don't think I can make it through. Again, please forgive me for posting so much.
Uumm if you kill yourself I am sure they will really lose respect. And be devastated beyond recovery. Suicide destroys families. I still feel guilty 25 years later over a friend who killed himself in college. When my child was 1 I found the courage to go to therapy. I was so afraid she would call me crazy for being depressed and that my husband would get custody my child. Fear is a big part of depression. I was wrong- what I was feeling was common. It helped me & ended a three generation stigma against depression. Please get help. BTW I am in therapy again and feel so much better. I am happy. I love me. People notice I am happier. Hugs Rose ---------- Post added 2nd Jun 2013 at 04:33 AM ---------- Post as much as you need too! Thats what EC is for - And I worry about my EC kids. You are all so brave for even thinking about your sexuality at such a young age. I am proud of you!! Please keep posting so I/we know your ok. Ok?!