I met this girl online a few months ago. We quickly became friends and got really close, because we were so like-minded and I was attracted to her personality and just, well, HER. We've been talking every day, every chance we got, and I slowly fell in love with her. She gave me signs that she did like me back that way, but nothing more. She got jealous if I mentioned other people, though she said it was because she is possessive of her friends. I got to the point where I just blurted out everything I felt about her, but she claims she's straight, although she says she does love me. I don't understand. I got so attached to her, to the point where I can't stay away from her and can't stop talking to her. I tried to detach, but it's like a circle where we always end up being together but not really together. I'm an emotional wreck right now. I decided to just be friends with her, but she didn't take it well. She said we're more than friends but less than lovers. What does that even mean?We fight, then go back to whatever messed up thing we have. I can't take this anymore, it hurts like hell. I want her in my life but if I do, I can't help myself wanting more. Any advice? :icon_sad:
You may be doing what I call "convenience crushing". It's especially common with people who are closeted, or questioning, or falling for someone for the first time. It 's when there's someone who might potentially be a good partner, but a really big and obvious obstacle s in the way - "she's straight" being the most common one. But rather than simply kicking the wall and starting to get over it, the mind/heart/body rebels. "But she'd be PERFECT. I'm positive she'd feel the same way if she only..." Part of it has to do with that status - you may not know (m)any other gay women, so wouldn't it be great if she were gay, so you wouldn't have to bother going looking for one? It's actually quite common. What do you do? Accept it. She's straight, so nothing will happen on that front. Say you'd like o take a break from her for awhile, so you can work on getting over your feelings for her. Then, do it. The three things that help you get over someone are time, distance, and someone else to focus on. Lex
Thanks a lot for your answer, Lex. It has helped me a lot, and I've been trying to distance myself from her. Seems to be working so far. I suppose I feel I have a lot of love to give and I projected it on her, because she is such a wonderful person. And you are right, I don't know many gay women Guess I'm going to have to work on that and get myself out there. Thank you again
