Constant emotional ups & downs... a normal part of coming out?

There are a lot of different things that go into having emotional ups and downs. How old are you? Do your friends know? How have your friends been receptive of it? These details could make things a little more clear.

And also, have you been like this all your life or have the ups and downs been more recent. I know I was pretty messy before I came out, and many things change afterwords- so its easy to get overwhelmed.

Perhaps you get overwhelmed by uncertainty, and that's pretty darn normal. The only real advise I can offer you is that nothing in this life is really certain and many things are out of your control. The more you can let that go, the happier you will be when you come across more uncertainties throughout your life.

 

I am in the coming out process, and I actually do have constant emotional up-and downs. Some days I am glad to be alive, I feel like a special and important person. But other days I feel like total shit, and that no one wants me and that I'm ugly.

But I think it's just a part of the process. The reason why I feel this way, is because I haven't come out to everyone, and I still feel a little awkward about the whole "I am bisexual" thing.

 

i am not completely out but i have had the thought of telling people constantly in my mind and i must say i am pretty much the same, most days i act quite depressed, if someone says one thing to me in the wrong way i get really angry and some days i laugh at everything, i too thought perhaps i was bi-polar but perhaps this is normal

 

by the way don't go by online tests because they make everyone sound bi-polar

 

Hmm that's interesting.. it sounds like you came out, but went back in the closet again! But now it seems like you went through all that trouble but you are now getting lots of pressure from family and such. The same sadness I felt before I came out.

To be honest, you friends might be grossed out by two guys kissing, but that won't mean that they will hate you! For the most part, it's because they haven't had any close friends who were gay.

One of the coolest things I heard from my friend was this:

"Before you came out, I thought 'gay' was my weird cousin who dyed his hair blue. You changed the way I think about gay people because I realized that they are normal human beings."

It may be harder, but we have been given a great opportunity to literally change what people think about something. I think you should start with your friends and wait on the relatives - because you probably hang out with them more than you family anyways!

Good luck, and we are always here to help you. Try and think that this is only a temporary pain that will be gone eventually, because it will be!

 

In addition to the shame component, many closeted people especially in the denial stages go through periods where they numb down their emotions - denying their attraction whether they accept it or not, restraining display of those emotions. Apparently the brain cannot easily shut down emotions selectively so everything gets shut down proportionately. Once you allow yourself to feel and express that attraction overall emotional intensity gets restored as well, and it's an unfamiliar feeling.

 

I remember having some mood swings in the days prior to coming out to my mom, which actually was just a couple weeks ago. At times I felt really confident and motivated, looking forward to coming out. But then I also had times when I felt like I wouldn't be able to do it and questioned the benefits of coming out.

I was able to finally do it on Memorial Day weekend. I was stunned right after I said the word 'bisexual' and was in total disbelief at what I had just done. Later that evening I felt really good about myself.

In the days after, I sometimes still was in disbelief about how I had come out. It hadn't quite sunk in yet. I now still occasionally wonder how/why exactly I did it. But as they say, it gets better.