I need a friend, advice, and some understanding please.

Hello there everyone! I'm 21 years old and I have know for a while of my identity (since I was 5). I have searched for the perfect relationship with no luck(Since freshman year of collage)... It has been my third year in college and a couple of close friends I made during these years know who I truly am (8 people know). But I wanted some opinions about this guy I met. I met him in a stats class and I randomly went up to him to ask him for help one day and he just gave me his number and set up a time to meet. I honestly don't know why I did that to begin with since I'm good in math but terrible in English... Anyways, we met, we studied for a whole semester. It was everyday monday-thursday and I got to know him a little better. And I have had a break up with someone on my sophomore year and recently saw my ex with someone else and it made me sad (2 months, we did nothing. I'm still a virgin, that guy was unique so I decided to hold things until I was ready which sadly never came to be.) My ex has been with 3 different guys already and I haven't been able to move on ... So I told him about it but he assumed it was girl... So I corrected him and told him, it was a guy I had dated (I'm a guy by the way) and he was okay with me being gay... He even told me he was the most opened minded person I would ever meet... Throughout the semester I fell for him, but I didn't have the courage to tell him because I wasn't ready.. He said he was open minded but he didn't come out to me like people usually do... We met up daily mon-thurs like nothing had happened and it didn't even seem to have changed our relationship status. He then began to be more open to me (Not sexuality) but with his personal feelings, family issues, and he even told me he had another brother. We began talking about our childhood and even found out he is 25 years old. I discovered his favorite color and that he is afraid of sharks (Weird).. I also found out that he has not had a girlfriend and that he doesn't want a relationship. He is really smart and an Honor student but he is very quiet with others. So the fall semester ended and I thought I would never see him again, and even texted him marry christmas during break with no response. So when we came back for spring semester I texted him to meet up with me to exchange music (We share so much info we decided to trade music but never got to) so he did. He took time to meet up with me to hang out and share music and we met every friday to just talk and hang out. Every now and then we went out to eat (nothing fancy, local restaurants the university has) and we would say goodbye and see each other next friday.. On two occasions I purchased his meal and he seemed to feel weird about it. I tried to explain to him that this was simply something I did with friends and he seemed a little annoyed that I considered him a "friend" but he ignored it and continued to hang out with me. He also started paying for his own meals. On the spring semester he helped me out with other courses, and he even edited a paper for me which he didn't even have to but still decided to take time to help me. If I had a question on anything he would do anything to be there. I also gave him a present for his birthday and he really like it. It was a cup from starbucks, and honestly he liked that I put a lot of thought into what I gave him. I didn't hug him because I honestly did not know what to do... But we continued to see each other and sometime he and I would stand on parking lots just talking about random things (picture it? a 21-25 doing small talk). However, the semester came to an end, we continued to hang out and on my birthday I had 2 finals and he met me halfway done through my first one and we met at a parking lot and I have him a research he had given me to help me with my school work. He congratulated me because of my birthday smiled at me and he leaned in to try to hug me but i ruined it because I gave him a handshake... It was the second time I had held his had.. I have been fighting the urge to tell him that I have fallen for him in all honesty but I'm afraid for him to freak out or just stop talking to me since I let him in without touching sexuality. I still text him every now and then but I can't deny I have feelings for him... I miss him now that we are in summer break. But I have fought to keep these feelings to myself. he has given me some clues about himself, he likes to dance, and he thinks kitties are cute but he wants to be a vet so I think that everything in my head is just wishful thinking. I am asking for an advice. On what to do. Please and thank you. And sorry for my terrible writing... Thank you for your time.

 

Thanks for that and yeah sorry for writing too much. Luthan you're probably right and thanks for telling me that. Perhaps I should do the same (focus on school, work, and my own life). I was just looking for advice that would help me clear my mind and you helped so thank you for your honest answers.