I started coming out a couple of months ago. It was a great relief to finally be honest with most of my family, I haven't had a chance to tell my brother yet. Anyway, I read so much about how coming out fills you with the sense of joy and excitement. I have yet to really feel that. I'm trying to go out and meet people, but I feel so terribly uncomfortable with myself. I seem to shut down. I thought it's mostly due to the fact I came out in my late twenties and feel very insecure about that around other people. Yet, I really think it is because I still hate or am ashamed of this part of myself. This is all combined with the fact I've been looking for full time work on and off for the last three years while being a caregiver to a relative. How do I not just accept this part of myself, but learn to live with it and embrace it? I'm so tired of being unhappy with myself, tired of feeling like a failure, tired of feeling sorry for myself.
I am sorry you are going through so much. I honestly don't believe that coming out should have a timing on it. Everyone come out in their own time and you have. Not hiding from your sexual preference is part of embracing who you are...You don't just live with it, you accept. The true road to happiness starts from there. You may still be trying to figure things out which is understandable so don't be so hard on yourself. Just take it one day at a time. Things will get better and one day you will look around and realize that you are in you're happy & secure place. Don't feel sorry for yourself just learn to love who you are
