Okay so I dated this guy that I met 2 years ago. And now we don't even talk, but I can't seem to move on. He did a lot of things to me.... He didn't respect me the way you're supposed to when you are in a relationship. I cared about him a lot and the only thing I can say here is that he just left for another guy who he now lives with in an apartment. Long story short, I was his rebound guy for a while while he was still out there hunting. Anyways, I did my crying and going out (Not to Bars, don't drink) just meeting up with friends and going to movies but I can't really talk about this openly to them. How can he move on so quickly to the point he calls his other guy "husband" and he was even afraid to been seen with me just holding hands... I've met other guys (2 more)but I'm scared to even start a new relationship. We are just friends, no benefits either. But I get mad at myself for not moving on.. Honestly I don't want a relationship, I just want this empty pit gone from my heart. It's about to be two years and I just can't.. He was my first bf and first relationship but I want my life back.. I want to put an end to this sad story! HELP!
Unfortunately, I don't really know. The only thing that semi-worked for me was focusing on all of their bad traits. But I'm not sure if that's really a healthy thing to do.
My feeling is whenever you're trying to get over your feelings for someone, you need to give yourself permission to find happiness elsewhere. That means going out to look for someone new to enter into your life romantically. I think one of the worst things that can happen after a break up is to sit back and spend a lot of time mourning. Sure, some time is needed to properly mourn the relationship - a week to a month I think is appropriate - the goal being to work yourself through the stages of grief until you find acceptance and are ready to move on. Yet, I've also seen people become stuck. That seems to be where you're at right now - it's been two years. It's time to move on. You need to give yourself permission to find someone else. Someone who will love you, who will respect you, who you can trust, and someone who will make you happy. This means putting yourself out there, saying yes, and taking some risks. That can be hard when you've had your heart stomped on. However, when you find a new man and he wraps his arms around you and tells you that he loves you, the warm fuzzies that you feel is going to go a long way toward erasing the pain you feel right now. You just have to be willing to take the risk that you might be hurt again... but with every risk you take there is also a potential reward. You could find the guy of your dreams, a man who you'll spend the rest of your life with, but you'll never know unless you start saying yes.
Omg! Thank you so much! I'm literary in tears right now... It's hard putting myself out there.. Where do I begin?? You know it sucks when you really care about someone and all they did was pretend... Do you think joining like an LGBTQ club would help? I haven't really come out to people but do you think is time to take the risk? I mean my family knows (Mom, sister, brother) but no one else..
Yes, it's time to take the risk. Find a LGBT Center or Club to join. Go to Meetup.com and look for LGBT Meetings in your area. Simply surrounding yourself by other LGBT people who can support you - even as a friend - is going to go a long way toward healing your pain and erasing your loneliness. Eventually, the more you put yourself out there, the greater the chance of finding a guy who you like and who likes you back. ...and if you make new friends along the way, all the better, right? All you need to do is take that first step. I'm glad what I wrote helped. (*hug*)
Thank you! I guess we sometimes need someone to tell us what to do, even though we know the answer. (*hug*) Thank you so much. I will take that risk and shoot for the best.
