Therapy helps. I dunno. It's just a long process of trial and error. I have noticed, however, that even though I go through a lot of phases, I've gotten to the age where I've started to notice what sticks and what doesn't. For instance, my goth phase in high school didn't stick. My tendency towards masculinity did. It takes a long time, and people are constantly evolving. Some people even redefine themselves in their 50's! I don't think it's so much a matter of finding as it is of being. Be and do what makes you happy and proud. Short of that, it's all up to you. I also suggest trying some guided meditation. That's helped me a lot.
Do you go to a group for the meditation? I don't have alot of money and one of the reasons I'm on these forums is to save money. Is there a cheaper alternative?
I get them for my classes since I'm taking life coaching. I don't go anywhere. I figure you can find some free ones online. I know a guy who downloads recordings to hypnotize himself, so there should be something for meditation out there. I don't do these things in a group because I'm pretty self-conscious and just generally uncomfortable around people. If guided meditation isn't something you can get into, good old-fashioned sitting and thinking works, too. There was one I had to do for class that started with chewing three raisins one by one for three minutes taking mental notes on things like the raisins' texture and such. This was immediately followed by three minutes of quiet meditation. Another one I did, which I admit probably doesn't work for everyone, is just staring into my own eyes in a mirror for a few minutes. That one is pretty boring, but I'm just throwing that out there. Journaling might be useful, too, if you're into that. Introspection is very important in figuring out who you are, and I applaud you for deciding to take that journey. :eusa_clap
