What's the point of coming out? I'm not good enough to be in a relationship?

I would say there are two issues here, neither of which is your decision to come out.

First of all, your mother's actions are exactly what you describe - blackmail - and not a healthy response to the situation. I don't know her motives, etc., but it doesn't create a good impression for you. You haven't done anything wrong that revealing this should be a punishment.

Second, your characterization of yourself as an "ugly chubby piece of shit." I get that you're probably down on yourself right now, and that's okay, but your weight does not make you inherently unattractive. In fact, I've only ever dated men who could all be described as chubby.

So, quick question. Does anyone in your life give you positive feedback and acceptance about who you are and your appearance? If so, who, and in what circumstances?

 

It's wrong for you mom to attempt to blackmail you.

Your friends shouldn't be acting awkward, but if they are one option is to sit them down and talk to them about it. Ask them what's going on and then talk it out and perhaps resolve the issue. Frank and open communication can often be very helpful.

As far as your appearance - People come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and appearances and the vast majority of the people on this planet are not supermodels. Yet they end up meeting someone who likes them and falling in love and so on. It seems more likely that you will be one of those people than not.

Todd

 

Never say "I'm an ugly chubby piece of shit" again! You need to get that out of your head, you are worth it no matter what size you're, and trust me you see the worst in yourself, I'm sure you're not ugly.

If your mother blackmails you, tell her I dare you, I bet you she won't go through with it, because if she truly loved you, she would not, and if she does, who cares, you need to tell your father at some point, amirite?


If you actually are over weight, you should make in effort to lose it for healths sake, if you need assistance losing weight I could be of great help, just message me, the first and most important step in losing weight is establishing self control and keeping it, which is something I could help you do, but is partly up to you.

 

If one doesn´t get a partner because he is ugly, how come that so many people, including disfigured and disabled are in relations?

You have to try to believe you are nice, cause people are more attracted to confident people you know. Not many go for the miserable.

You need to work on your confidence, but I have no tips there. Just one:

You are always attractive when you smile. You can actually do that without feeling it, but if you keep it up all day, smiling to random people, you´ll start to feel it and the good think is, you get smiles back, which boosts your confidence. Try it!

 

Hi Stridenttube,

I have often felt myself that I am unattractive and not worth loving however you can't think this way because there is always someone there for you. Choosing to be gay or heterosexual does not affect how you look and no it is not any easier for you to be straight. You have come out and told some members of your family you should never let your mum blackmail you into feeling anxieties around your dad. You should always come out to your dad but only when you feel the time is right.

Best of luck and stay positive