Hi, I was thinking about gay bars recently and wondering if it is somewhere you would/can go by yourself or is it awkward. I just want to meet people, I have been looking at some groups and clubs to join but nothing really stands out to me yet, so I thought maybe a gay bar was an option. I haven't come out yet, I don't know any gay people and also I don't have anyone to go with. I just want to meet people and kind of have fun but I am nervous. I have done some research and the general consensus is that most people that go to bars just want sex:rolle:. That's not something I want to go there for, I just want to meet people. What is your general opinion on bars? can you go there by yourself? what is the atmosphere like?
Re: Gar bar... By yourself? I've never went to a gay bar myself, but if I do plan on going I would really want to be with 1 person at least. I would wait a bit and partially come out, who knows maybe one of the people you come out to would be okay with coming with you to the gay bar. I think it would be really awkward being at a gay bar all by yourself, but that's just my opinion. I feel you when you say you want to meet people, maybe there is some other methods of meeting some gay people around you? After you meet some people maybe they would join you! Just keep looking and keep yourself out there! ~Zack~
Re: Gar bar... By yourself? Clubs are bars at not my cup of tea, but a lot of people I know like them. From a description my friend told me it was noisy with blaring music, lots of dancing people, and shirtless guys and gals everywhere. I've never been in one, though. Usually the people I know go with friends, so I'm not sure how to approach this. You could see it as an excuse to drink? Just going alone to have a couple drinks by yourself, and hey you might meet some cool people. If they ask about sex, just say you're not interested in sex, and are looking for just some friends. It couldn't hurt to just give it a try. If you don't like it after an hour or two, you can leave if you want. No harm done.
Re: Gar bar... By yourself? I made a thread just like this on Ec. You could totally go to the gay bar, but keep in mind that some guys might be predatory and try and use you. If you have some gay friends, then I would advise you to go with them. You could go alone and all... There are plenty of straight people that go to the club too, apparently.. So that's sort of dumb.
Re: Gar bar... By yourself? It's more fun and safer to go with someone. (&&&) If there is some kind of show or band you can enjoy that by yourself. If not you just tend to sit there drinking. If you're outgoing you might meet someone nice. OTOH they could be nasty. :help:
Re: Gar bar... By yourself? I don't have anyone to go with and I don't plan on coming out to anyone unless I am in a relationship, unless I am in a relationship with a guy I see no need to tell anyone I am into guys lol... Straight people? really? Are they just on the downlow or do they actually go there to party?
Re: Gar bar... By yourself? Actually I've met a couple straight guys who liked gay bars because they said they felt they could dance there without people laughing at them. I always found that kind of an odd reason but whatever right?
Re: Gar bar... By yourself? I've gone by myself and it's alright. And, just check DublinBoy's thread about his recent experience...
Re: Gar bar... By yourself? Yeah.. Where I live, I would say that a lot of straight people go there. Don't ask me why. I'm in the same boat as you, but I'm kind of in a relationship right now.. So I can tell people no thanks.
Re: Gar bar... By yourself? Yes you can def go to one alone. I recommend with someone but alone is fine. You can easily chat with people if alone. Some guys might be predatory, just be careful.
Re: Gar bar... By yourself? Different bars have different atmospheres. Some are very much geared to dancing and loud music (making conversation difficult), but may have a quieter 'just sit and drink and talk' section if the place is big enough. Other bars are a lot like straight bars (bar, tables, pool tables, etc.) and may be fine for conversation, although there are variants that are more geared to things like bears and/or leather and stuff (which may not be your thing, or might be a plus as far as you're concerned). A lot of places probably have websites these days and you should also consider visiting several to see how you like different places. Going alone might be easier at a 'sit and drink and talk' bar unless you like dancing, which is fine. When I was doing bars, I usually went with friends, but that wasn't a requirement (but was more fun). Being careful is always good in any situation, but its not like guys are going to just come up and drag you out of the bar and back to their place by main force. A simple 'Thanks, but I'm just hanging out tonight' should generally be sufficient to put off anyone who hits on you when you're not looking. On a somewhat different note, when I was going to bars lived with three other gay guys for a time. One moved out and his replacement was a straight guy. He fit right into the group and went to the bars with us quite a bit. He liked the music and liked to dance. He'd get hit on a fair bit and just politely decline and explain that he was straight. He'd get some friendly banter about it (Oh come on, man! You might like it if you tried it!) and then the guys would just move on. Eventually the regulars got to know him and stopped hitting on him. The bar we mostly went to had a fair number of straight people (singles and couples) most Friday nights (when we usually went). It was a pretty friendly place Todd
No you naughty person, I don't want to go there for sex >_>. Hm... just seems odd to me, I know places are open to everyone but it just seems odd too me, oh well guess it doesn't matter why they go lol. Yeah, I am cautious about this, I read quite a few things about regulars preying on new people. ---------- Post added 17th Jun 2013 at 11:44 PM ---------- Can I have a link please? I don't want to look through all the older posts! ---------- Post added 17th Jun 2013 at 11:47 PM ---------- Also thanks for the info Todd... I probably should find someone to go with but I dunna, I am unsure if I will even go, just wondering if its okey to go alone and stuff.
I've gone to gay bars alone plenty of times. Well lit and popular bars are perfectly safe, or at least as safe as any bar. If you want to meet people, it is a fine place to do it, so long as you want to meet people who drink at bars. Some places are pretty relaxed and not pretentious, and those are the places I've been most comfortable. A pub atmosphere with pool tables is always fun; just plunk down your coins and ask who's next? Something to do other than stare at a television or guzzle your drink too fast. Find a place that has what you like (dancing, sports, billiards, whatever) and order your favorite libation. You can always leave after one if you don't like the vibe!
"Straight " men at a gay bar? Reminds me of when my boyfriend said he subscribed to Playboy for the articles. Lol!
Yeah, I'm guessing most would go with their partners or friends, especially if it's an integrated spot, but have also heard of a trend where straight guys will target gay bars specifically to look for women, seeing that many prefer these 'safe' spots to many heterosexual establishments. I've also heard from several second hand sources that many of the male dancers were straight, but, don't quote me on this. Either way, the guy would have to be pretty secure in his sexuality, which is always a plus.
I don't think that's a relevant comparison at all. Some straight men are completely comfortable with their sexuality and have no problem interacting with homosexuals in a bar/club scenario. I see the point of gay bars and their definitive advantages, but it is also a lesser form of segregation in a way, and so if straight people are going there too to have fun, it feels more open. You wouldn't question a gay man's sexuality if he went to a 'straight' club, would you?
