Hi everyone, I need some serious advice. At college my freshman year I met this girl who is now my best friend. When i say best friend, i mean it. I would do anything for her and vice versa. But the problem is I am in love with her. I know most people say this is just a crush or i will grow out of it but I am telling you I am madly in love and I have been desperately trying for a year to get over this. And i know I am more than a friend to her, but I want to know if she loves me back. I'll start from the beginning. We met freshman year bc she lived 2 rooms away in my dorm. We quickly became good friends, we were always laughing and would hang out every free chance we could. We started to hang out more and more and eventually led to her sleeping over in my bed every night. Throughout the day I would harmlessly flirt with her and I could tell this was returned. This continues for 4 months until one night we got really drunk. It had been built up and it was just a matter of time before it happened. We went to bed and made out and had sex. The next day we swore never to speak of it again and that it would'nt happen again. But of course it happened again... Eventually we started to do it without being drunk. Infact we would do it most nights and I was falling in love with her. In the day we would spend every moment together and have a great time and at night she was mine. We would text all through the day aswell flirting and talking about how much we liked eachother. However one night we went clubbing with all our friends and she was dancing with a guy. Well i have never been so jealous. I was so mad at her and she could tell.... she had to keep telling me that I was the most important person to her and everything. The next day I was pretty upset and she noticed. I told her the only thing I wanted was to be with her but I knew it could never happen. She said she felt the same way? Over summer she went home and so did I. We live 26 hours away from eachother. We would text everyday and say how much we missed eachother. The pain of missing her was horrible, it felt like I had been punched in the stomach. However, when she was home she started seeing guys and sleeping with them. This killed me, I didnt know what to make of it. I felt like I had to tell her how i felt so i told her i loved her which didnt go well... it actually distanced us and we talked less and less.... I was confused bc i thought she felt the same or atleast led me to believe that. When we returned to college in fall it took a good few weeks for us to be back to the best friends we were. But one night we got drunk and it happened again... and just like that it was back to freshman year. We were rooming together this year so every night we would lay together and have sex atleast twice a week. But this year she pretended every time the next day that nothing happened and we NEVER talked about it. It was just something we did.... but the whole time she had been talking to guys and i had to pretend i was fine with it. I really wasnt though, anytime she talked or texted a guy i was insanely jealous. This has gone on for 2 years now. When she goes home for summer its back to guys, but when she sees me we keep having sex. SO what i really want to know is how does she feel about me? From what ive told you anyway. I truely believe we are more than just friends or she wouldnt feel the need to keep doing stuff with me. She gets jealous when i talk to other girls, im not gay but even when im joking around with a friend she gets mad... So she must feel something for me right? I am absoltuly in love with her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. She has a boyfriend right now but we text all day and I know when we go back to college we will still have sex. I really dont know what to make of this situation so PLEASE help me! I just need some honest truthful advice bc i havent been able to talk to anyone about this
Hi Floridagal, You two sound as if you have a positive relationship when you are together. However, it does not sound honest and out with other people. She appears to have similar feelings for you. Something may be in the way with her accepting this. It could be family. If she is dating guys when she is at home she may be playing a role of a straight girl for others. I would suggest deciding on what you want from her. Are you in a position where you want to settle down with her? Marriage? Apartment? Family? Where will your job be? Is she planning on living in her city after school? What are the real possibilities for a future together? Will you wait for her? Does she need time? Direction? Is she trying to find a man that is as good as you? Is she just trying to find someone in her city and close to family? What is she feeling? What are her dreams for the future? I would suggest opening an honest dialogue with her about what she and you want. See if you have similar ideas for the future. Remember to be there for her. She may or may not want to discuss about a serious relationship with you. She may or may not want to tell you the things in her life that are a part of her sexuality. She may or may not want to discuss the future with you. Things could get painful. If the relationship shifts in any direction it could become painful. Any open conversations with her could be painful. This is what happens when people break out of there comfort zones. But if you have sincere 'in love' feelings for her, and you see a possible future then you should see where this goes. Remember 'spending one's life with someone' is a two person ride. It sounds like you both have genuine feelings for each other. You both have to be willing to share, listen, and accept each other for this relationship to be successful. Good Luck!
apogee711, thanks for replying. i needed some honest advice from a different perspective! i think talking to her would be the best idea. i would try to move on but its just hard because i think she feels the same way. but i will definitely voice my opinion and see where i stand. Thanks once again!
