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how do you deal with religious bigots?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by chrisV, Jun 21, 2013.

  1. chrisV

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    i live in a town full of hardcore catholics (REALLY REALLY religious), and i know when i come out to more people, i am going to get "you are going to hell" comments a lot, so i'm just wondering how you guys deal with it. i will probably just ignore them, but i guess i could use their own religion against them if i really needed to, (because i know a lot about the bible, and there are verses about not hating people, and not judging other people) but ignoring them is my first option.

    i'm just wondering if you guys have any advice on how i should deal with them, just because i know they will not leave me alone :/
     
  2. Tightrope

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    You have to ignore them, as hard as it may be sometimes. There are hardcore Catholics in the greater New York City area? I find that hard to imagine, but I believe you. For every verse you come up with about loving people, they will come up with another one on what constitutes a sin. It's a battle neither side will win, and it isn't going away anytime soon. I don't know if someone can make your life miserable where you are, but I think they can for someone living in a small town in the middle of the country. Try to avoid being around them altogether if you can and hang with people who are not religious zealots.
     
  3. Linthras

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    I tend to smile, if not laugh at their silly antics.
    But that might not be a good idea where you live.
     
  4. Adarya

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    Like what Tightrope said the best thing is probably to ignore them, which you've been doing already. I know where you're coming from even if I haven't come out yet because I'm an atheist. All you can do is hold onto your idea of who you are and not let them change/affect you, even if their words are sometimes hurtful or rude. It's okay to just walk away from someone who is treating you badly, and if you feel it's needed you can probably "use their own religion against them" if they won't leave you alone or if an confrontation can't be avoided.
     
  5. phoenixverde

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    Tell them you understand their opinion, but you respectfully disagree. You do not want to discuss it, but you appreciate their concern.
     
  6. Owen

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    I have to disagree with the people saying, "Just ignore them." If you don't respond at all, you're telling them that what they're doing is okay, that it's okay for them to say these bigoted things to you because you won't retaliate. It could even embolden them. But like Tightrope said, if you try to battle their bigotry with reason, they'll come up with every convoluted justification possible to defend their bigotry.

    The best advice I can give is to come up with an (ideally) polite but (necessarily) firm way to shut them down. Don't make it your goal to convince them they're wrong or convince them to respect you, just to get them to leave you alone. I think phoenixverde's advice is the best so far for doing that.
     
  7. DanDan

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    Ignore them, that's what I do. And please don't let them ruin the christian name (even though it already is, but still), there's still good christians out there. My friends are all catholic (I am too), but they know and still love me nonetheless, and I know God loves me too (if you're athiest or of any other religion, pretend that last part doesn't exist :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:).
     
  8. phoenixverde

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    I have gotten flack from Christians about my tattoos. When I have been confronted I ask them where in the Bible does it say tattoos are bad. Usually they don't know. I tell them that I have studied the verse in context, looked at what multiple Bible scholars believe it means, prayed about it, and decided that it was okay to get tattoos. I tell them that I would be happy to pick the conversation up again after they have studied the text.

    It will be a similar comeback for the gay thing. I have read the Bible. I have read theology books. I have prayed about it. I am at peace with my decision and know that God created me this way. Until they can have a real discussion about it, I will not waste my time debating the subject.
     
  9. memyself

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    I think it depends on just how "hardcore" they are. If they're hateful enough to take physical action in large numbers, you should probably focus on moving to another city. If you're in a safe place and they can't really do anything other than say hateful things, then I personally would have a very fun time "debating" with them. I find that Christians are extremely easy to argue with (I'm not against christianity and spirituality, but I am against taking the bible literally and forcing your beliefs on others.).

    The trick is to not lose your cool. Stay calm, have fun, and laugh a lot. If you get angry, that's telling them that you care about their insane thoughts. Why care about what crazy people think? Just laugh at them, maybe egg them on to say more stupid things, but if you leave the conversation smiling and laughing and they're still angry and upset, you automatically win.

    On a side note, I've always wanted to join a christian anti-gay rally and hold up a sign that says "God Made Butts For Pooping!" and see if they think I'm serious :b

    And just to be clear, I think inward spirituality, even if deviated from any religion, is a beautiful thing. However, forcing your ideas on others and ignoring logic and human well being for the sake of social conformity in a religion is the stupidest thing in the world.
     
  10. Pain

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    If I were in a serious situation where a bigot using religion as a shield was attacking me for my sexuality, I would calmly tell them why I disagree. If the situation involved cat-calls and jeering, people saying "You're going to hell," I would say, childishly, and stubbornly, "No, YOU!" Simple, bull-headed, and something to laugh about. :slight_smile:
     
  11. Argentwing

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    "You're going to Hell!"

    "I'm a big boy; I'll take my chances. Now mind your own business please. :slight_smile:"
     
  12. chrisV

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    there actually are alot of religious people in my town (it's a small town that is entirely irish catholics) they won't take any physical action against me, (although a gay kid did get attacked in my school once before) so it's not like i need to move or anything. i actually REALLY enjoy pissing off the religious people in my town, and they won't do anything about it, they just get very angry, which of course is hilarious. i'm really only concerned about school, because there are some pretty homophobic people there. i will just ignore them, i'm just asking in case somebody won't leave me alone about it.

    anyway, thanks for all of the advice.

    ---------- Post added 21st Jun 2013 at 04:18 PM ----------

    i know that there are good christians out there, when i was younger, i went to a church youth meeting where the pastor was in an argument with one of the members of the church. they were arguing whether the church should allow gay people to be members. the pastor was saying that they should, because even if homosexuality was a sin, we all sin. i was too young at that point to really appreciate what the pastor was saying, but to this day, he is one of the greatest influences on my life. even if i don't believe in most of what the bible teaches (i'm agnostic), i still like going to that church, because he never preaches about hate or anything. every sermon is about love, compassion, or something along those lines. i just appreciate what he teaches, because even if i don't agree with the book he got it from, i really agree with the message that i get from it.i don't hate Christianity at all, i actually respect it. it's just when it's taken too far and too literally that i don't like it.
     
    #12 chrisV, Jun 21, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2013
  13. robotman

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    I haven't ever been exposed to bigots but that probably because I'm not out yet... My dad is homophobic (he doesn't know im gay) but I have to deal with him always slating gay people and the way I deal with him is just try to change the subject or just let all his moaning blow over and leave the room. I would just say stay clear of them, don't interact with them and ignore them, if they know it bothers you they will probably do it more.
     
  14. Tell them that bible clearly states these three things:

    1. We are all guilty of sin.
    2. All sin is equal in the eyes of god.
    3. God is all-forgiving.

    Not only is this is a short, clean argument that shouldn't offend anyone, it also embraces the true essence of Christianity. No self-respecting Christian would argue with that.
     
  15. Mhin

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    Religious Person VS Gay People = Endless Debate
     
  16. Split Arrows

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    I tend to be silent with this thought in my head and a sincere smile on my face, "true Christians come from a place of love and, however misguided they are, they're telling me I'm hellbound to try and help and I am touched by that. If they are not true Christians, 'haters be hating'".
     
  17. SecretlyASloth

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    Humor.
    People have mentioned that if you walk away from the conversation (no matter how short) smiling, you always win.
    There's this girl at my school who constantly is telling her friends how they should go vandalize this open gay kid's locker because it's a sin. (She's one of THOSE.)
    Now I'm still in the closet, but that didn't mean I was doing to speak up, so when I did she told me I was "going to go to hell for supporting the fags. You're going to burn with Satan, fag-lover!"

    I smiled and said, "I'll see you there, sweetie."
     
  18. Just Jess

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    You know there is no one size fits all answer. Some people are just impossible.

    I wouldn't write off everyone in the town as a bigot though. Wearing your heart on your sleeve has a way of helping other people out of their closets too, and some of the people who come out of the woodwork to support you might surprise you. I mean always be safe and smart, but don't live in fear and the people around you usually won't either.

    If you just need more Bible knowledge, here's a way to learn about it with legos :slight_smile:

    The Brick Testament
     
  19. biggayguy

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    If you decide to say anything at all to them say something like this. Jesus said; "The whole law can be summed up in two commandments, to love God with all your heart and strength and mind. And to love your neighbor as yourself." Then ask them to show you any of the words of Jesus (in red letters) that he speaks about homosexuality. It's not in the red letters of Jesus. It probably won't change anyone's mind but it may cause some to scratch their heads a bit.
     
    #19 biggayguy, Jun 25, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2013
  20. SecretlyASloth

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    One time I pretended to be a tourist and take pictures, saying "God bless 'merica"
    and I would be jolly and tell them to have a nice day.