I got called butch, but that's not how I identify

It bugs me when people see me differently from how I see myself, too. I remember some girls telling me I wasn't a tomboy when I thought I was. (I thought tomboy meant 'not girly', but they said you'd also have to have boyish traits. I don't act gender-typical for either gender.)

It's one person's opinion. Maybe they're right, and you didn't realize you're butch but you are. Maybe they misperceived you, because they've only seen one side of you. Or maybe they define 'butch' differently from you.

 

It is very possible that you may come across as more butch than you naturally perceive yourself. I know that there are times that I come across more feminine than I would normally assume myself to be, but the question you have to ask yourself is why should you care?

Getting trapped in ratios of expression is an extreme waste of time. You are you, and as long as you are being completely honest in your demeanor and who you are, then nothing else matters.

 

Join the club... I'm a tomboy and love jeans and a comfortable t-shirt or golf shirt. I don't dress girly (ie. feminine top) all too often, and don't wear make up. I also have short hair and just the other day, an older gentleman thought I was butch. He actually ended up asking if I were gay to my work-friend, who then told me about it. It really hurts because that couldn't be further from the truth. I'm happy with the way I choose to dress and would feel extremely uncomfortable in overly feminine clothes. I have, however, made the decision to grow my hair out again. I was once called a dyke by a crazy woman in traffic based on my short hair

I have nothing against butch lesbians, I actually admire them. But that's also not who I am. I'm a straight-identifying tomboyish female. That's all there is to it. Unfortunately most people judge others on their physical appearance and don't bother learning the truth or actually getting to know the ones they judge. It sucks because I now know why men aren't hitting on me - They think I'm gay and butch :icon_sad: I can't really give you advice on how to deal with the situation at hand, but I can completely relate (*hug*)

 

I've been seen as girly for sure by some people despite me not feeling that way. Some people just pick up on different vibes.

One of my friends that calls me flamboyant all the time; like has pointed out how flamboyant I am to others behind my back, has also said that I don't have anything feminen about me(out of the blue as well). So sometimes you can be someone that sends a mixed message.

The way you carry yourself can do it. Many girls I am friends with I would consider butch; though they're straight, simply because they can give off masculine vibes(they'r more aggressive than your average female). Regardless they still dress up, do make-up and all that crap.

Maybe you are doing this. I can be really dramatic and flamboyant though I don't sound, look or act like a feminen guy, so maybe you are doing something "masculine" despite you looking, sounding and acting feminen.

It sucks getting called out on something you don't think you are, and most people are doing it out of curiousity. There can be people with malicious intent though, I've only been asked about my sexuality(by about 20 different people) with negative undertones. So maybe pay attention to how you are being asked this, it could be simply a harmless comment, but don't let people say it just to be assholes. If I was out of the closet I would not be able to hold back if someone asked with bad intentions.

 

i think everyone perceives things very differently. Some people may think of you as butch but maybe there are people that never even though about that. I think the only thing that matter is you do not let other people affect the way you think of yourself