How do you know????

One thing Ive learnt from this site is sexuality is a complicated thing, but if you like guys and dont like girls and dont even watch straight porn, it seems you may be gay

 

I can only tell you what worked for me. I knew I liked men because I reaaaaaaaly wanted to kiss/hug/touch/have sex with men. And I figured out I like women because I met a few that I reaaaally wanted to do the same things with. I have been with both and enjoyed it very much. Voila! So there you have it. This is what worked for me.

 

you seem gay.

i didn't know i was gay until i was 14, but i should have known for a while. i remember being 12, and feeling the urge to masturbate anally. i kind of suspected it from then, but denied it until a year ago. i guess i just realized that if i like it in the ass, i'm gay. i also had quite a few crushes on some of the guys in my school, so i guess that also pointed to the same conclusion. i really don't like girls, just like you said, so i'm guessing you are gay, but part of you doesn't want to accept it (it may even be a subconscious thing, but it seems that way)

 

Hm... have you tried watching straight porn to see how you feel? if you feel the same way you do as when you watch gay porn you are most likely bisexual. I found out I was gay through porn aswell as the fact I started wondering about kissing some guys and teachers at school :badgrin:...

---------- Post added 25th Jun 2013 at 12:24 AM ----------

On a serious note though, I think you know you are gay by how you feel when you think about being with a guy compared to being with a women, whether its sexual or just in a relationship. Have you thought about being with a guy before?

 

I thought about that a lot too when I was first questioning my sexuality. I think I thought about it too much actually. Our minds tend to complicate things because a lot of the times there are no exact words for what we are feeling.

The word "gay" is clogged with so many preconceived notions and ideas
Personally, I wish we could just delete those kind of words ("God" being the biggest one) because those notions and ideas seem to hinder us more than help in many situations, but then there would just be a new word put in its place.

All in all, I would try to focus less on the words and more on how you feel around different men and women. Everyone is different. Lots of love to you <3

 

Honestly, I think the best thing to do is not dwell on it too much. Over thinking things tends to make them seem way more complicated than they need to be. I just recently realized I was lesbian, not because I was in denial or anything, I just legitimately did not know it. I'm actually still not 100% sure and at first, that really bothered me, but I have come to realize that there really isn't much I can do to answer that question other than wait for time to run its course, so there's no point in obsessing over it.

Bottom line is, the only person who can answer this question for you is yourself. There is nobody in this world who knows you as well as you know yourself, so how can you trust someone else's opinion on something so deeply personal? Like I said before, the best thing you can do for yourself is to not over think things and just let the chips fall where they may or else you'll drive yourself crazy. Eventually, your answer will become clear.

 

I think if you are questioning or deeply confused about your sexuality, you most likely aren't heterosexual.

Our society is set up for heterosexuals so it wouldn't be hard to notice that this world was designed for you.

 

I think about that all the time. Whenever I'm like "omg am i sure that i'm a lesbian" and then i'm like "at least i'm not straight, because if i was straight i wouldn't be questioning anything". So, yeah, I think this is accurate.

 

Everybody has been in your place. If you'd like, I can give you a link to the thread where I pretty much ask the same thing.

9 months after that, I am still a virgin, I have never kissed anyone, boy or girl, but I feel gay. I watch almost daily gay porn, straight porn very scarcely, about once every two months. As I've never had a sexual experience, I can't tell for sure whether I am gay or not. I have stopped thinking about it so much. I have come out to my parents and five friends as gay, and I am planning to go soon to a gay bar. Still I haven't 100% answered if I am gay.

On the other hand, you should keep in mind that there is emotional and sexual attraction. So far, I have felt emotional attraction (butterflies in stomach etc) for both men and women, but sexual (eg boner) only for men. Therefore, I believe I am gay.

I think it comes down to what you feel though, and not what you "objectively" are. There is no labeling test to tell you exactly what you are. In fact, you shouldn't try labeling yourself. You are unique in the way you feel, and labels are often misinterpreted and misleading. You never know what will happen in the end anyway.

In my opinion, you should acknowledge that you are not 100% sure about your sexuality, and that you don't feel straight at all, like the guys above said. The only problem with that is that you can't say it to other people because they will ask for details. You won't have any to give to them and you will feel cornered. But it's the best conclusion you can be drawn to given the circumstances. I believe it would be wrong to tell you what you are. Just take it slow and time will tell.

 

I had this guy inn my class who I found to be ridiculously good-looking.
It's difficult to explain exactly, but his face and voice just... arouses me.

The female aspect is a little bit difficult for my brain to comprehend, but bisexual/straight porn is just as arousing as gay porn is.

So I am most likely gay with a touch of female interests. It's an easy guess