Hey guys, i am writing this post turning to you all in a huge bout of helplessness and inability to make a very crucial decision in my life..i would be extremely obliged if i could hear your advice on the same I'm 21 years old and still in the closet about being gay..i live in a very conservative country where topics like homosexuality are rarely/never discussed as a topic of casual conversation in households. In fact I lived in denial for several years myself even though I always knew my attractions were different from the attractions of the friends around me. But after spending a lot of time on forums such as these, in the previous year, I started getting a better understanding of what I am and felt the urge to interact with the LGBT supporting organizations in and around my city. So I started talking to them online and over the phone. Almost all the counsellors I spoke to told me that I seem to be at complete ease with my inner self and have a clear sense of my sexuality (way above the average callers they get) .... so the problem is with acceptance from the outer world and the confidence to eventually come out. the real problem in my situation is that like most people my age, I just graduated this year (did my Engineering from a reputed university in India). Recently I get asked a lot this question "What next?"...I have pondered this over a lot and one option is to move to the U.S for my higher studies. My folks are being really supportive about this because of the great universities there INSPITE of the huge cost involved for studying at a good school in the USA. Strangely I have a small sense of guilt about this because i am doing this while still being in the closet about my sexuality to them. :icon_sad: I was a late child to my parents and have only one sister who is married and lives in the US. I am currently studying to take my entrance exams next month and I got this feeling that I'm dealing with a lot of important decisions at once and all by myself! As u can imagine there are so many uncertainties involved with moving to a different country and this scares me a little..if anyone has advice or suggestions it would help me develop a broader perspective. do u think it would help to come out to my sister? she's been living in the US so i'm sure has seen or and heard of gay people but never openly discussed it with her and have no idea how she'd react.. :icon_sad: what do you folks think I should do??? please suggest....
Hey there, don't feel any guilt about this. People move because of similar things all the time. In fact, that's how America started--persecution and discrimination pushed people across the ocean. You moving to America for a better life because of a more hopeful environment is just like someone moving to a different city for a job! Plus, you're not coming to the United States to do nothing, you're coming to the United States to get an education. As long as you get the education, there is no guilt if you're going to gay bars in your free time! Don't feel responsible for the prejudices you are put under in your own country, and do what's best for you. You seem responsible, so why are you concerned? It's not like your parents explicitly said "get an education, only an education, and don't talk to those gays over there!" EDIT: Slow net -> triple post
Right, so it might be a good idea to come over to the US. You have a much better chance of getting comfortable with it over here than in your home country, from your description. You will be able to tell them in time, and it might be easier for them, and you, with distance. I don't know if I'd tell your sister right away, though. I would try and make sure she would be supportive, try and test her views on it and etcetera
