Hi everyone, Recently, I've been realising more and more often that people say things that are either mildly homophobic, heteronormative or just plain uncultured. I find there is a general misunderstanding about LGBTQ people. For example, we were discussing a girl who tagged herself as 'bi' in her Instagram photos, and someone said 'Well, surely she doesn't know if she likes both if she hasn't has sex with both?' I wont get into my anger over that. Although it may seem a rather mild comment, I found myself struggling to come to terms with it. It's not even particularly bi-phobic, just it bugged me. I've always seen my sexuality as 'not a sex thing'. Sure, I find females attractive, but to me, it's not just about the sex. In my mind, most of my sexuality is based on the fact I think I would be far happier in a relationship with a woman. I suppose this just got under my skin, and it really was the first time I'd heard any kind of misunderstanding with my peers over the subject. I'd never really noticed it before, and I find I'm scared to speak out against it because I'm still in the closet to my classmates. How do any of you cope with the comments? I suppose I have to partially detach myself. I just know, if I decide to come out, I would find it hard to stop myself from ranting to them about how they're wrong. Is it something that becomes easier to deal with after you've heard more about it?
I guess I cope through acknowledging that due to its very nature people are always going t be coming out with misinformed comments that are not particularly phobic, but show a lot of ignorance. Which in a way is not their fault, society as a whole is not exactly excellent at genuinely educating individuals on matters which while able to be generalised are still very much about the way an individual experiences things. That and I occasionally get on my soapbox and type inappropriately lengthy responses explaining why their logic is flawed and/or that society needs to start buckling down with its mission to become inclusive to the point where it's just ridiculous. Only once in a blue moon though, frequent lengthy post nagging leads to people pretty much skimming over everything. It's always better to educate in person, in as an informal a way as possible. Introduce the concept, drip feed the information, see what happens.
I'm not a good example for coping with comments. I get mad. I find them so annoying and blind and naive. But you have to remember that you have an entire community of people who disagree and that anyone who says anything homophobic (etc.) is just blind. and you can't teach them how to perceive the world. you can't change their views. i guess you just have to move on and hope for the best.
I find that usually it's because people honestly don't understand much about the LGBTQ community. I'm still in the closet but I try to bring some LGBTQ issues into casual conversation, like when you are talking about the news or current events or even religious topics. My friends are generally ok as I have 2 friends who are openly bi but I generally use this tactic on my family.
Honestly, I've been trying my best to stop looking at comments. Like, yesterday, my news center posted that the SCOTUS had declared DOMA unconstitutional - I wanted to comment but I knew it would end my happy feelings, and there would be a ton of "it's a choice!" Comments. I didn't want to deal with it. I am curious to see if there was any happy comments, but I decided it was best for me. In terms of social media...you need to surround yourself with good people. We don't have to add people on Facebook we don't want to. Last I checked, you follow who you want on Instagram, right? I didn't think it was necessarily public...so don't follow people who are negative or who have terribly negative followers. If it's a public figure (I love how George Takei gets so many haters...makes no sense) then just deal with it. Negative comments are horrible...but those people want the attention - they want you to get all upset and pissed off. So don't give them that!
