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Alcoholism.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by MerBear, Jun 26, 2013.

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  1. MerBear

    MerBear
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    Okay so I do know there a genetic link with it. My mother had alcoholism. Both sides of the family include alcoholics and i was wondering if it could affect me.

    I know, this isn't really a Factor but I have really no self control when it comes to drinking beverages. I use to Drink Diet dr.pepper and I would drink that in a day or 2 and then one day my dad switched me to Tea. I use to HATE tea but then I got use to it and Drank BOTH boxes of tea pretty quick. I would drink up to 2-4 bottles of tea a day....I don't if its because i'm thirsty or what. I usually dont feel thirsty when i drink but I drink them really fast.

    My sister once let me have champagne on christmas eve and I drank half the bottle ...I usually am against alcohol because of my mother and dad but that night, she kind of forced me and ever since...I can still taste it on my tongue.

    Lately I have been craving alcohol ...and it worries me because if i do end up drinking then I fear I won't be able to control it....My mom used alcohol as a crutch....and I absolutely hate people who use it as a crutch but I finally see why it made her feel better....and Since I basically had my heart 'broken' a month ago, I've been trying to find ways to forget about her such as (sorry if this is triggering)
    Porn, masturbation, movies, reading watching TV, sleeping, exercising .....but the one thing, I truly want is alcohol and its just been worrying me.

    My sister and I have different dads. Her dad didn't have a drinking problem. My dad does even though he denies it. I know a alcohol problem when i see one (plenty of experience)
    and My sister, I was always worried she would become a alcoholic since she use to binge drink when she was a teenager but then she got to college and she stopped drinking so much....and I learned, she CAN control her drinking. She has way more self control than me and I know that Self control has a be a factor because my mother had no self control, she let alcohol ruin her life. She would drink everywhere she went and she became a emotional wreck and suicidal. Formed depression and all that stuff.

    I want alcohol so bad when I'm in a bad emotional place and I want to forget about all the bad things and I don't even seem to care about what happens when i wake up.

    My main question is..Do you Think I have a high chance of developing a alcohol problem?

    I know, what some of you might say. That i'm a teenager and its normal to crave something you don't usually like and It will go away soon and all this other stuff. I don't think me being a teenager has anything to do with it IMO but if you think otherwise, i won't say you're wrong
     
    #1 MerBear, Jun 26, 2013
  2. BudderMC

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    From what I understand and my own personal experiences, alcoholism is when a person hits a point that there is a definite dependency on alcohol in their day-to-day life and is inhibiting their ability to carry on like most other people would.

    I don't think that your potential lack of self-control around beverages and your desire to drink are necessarily good things, but I don't think they're indicative of alcoholism either. You seem to understand the line that you shouldn't cross to avoid going down the same road as your family members have.

    If you're concerned it may develop into something worse, it might be worth looking into other healthier coping mechanisms for when you're in a bad place. The more you can practice those now the more habit they'll be come and hopefully you'll be less inclined to drink.
     
    #2 BudderMC, Jun 26, 2013
  3. MerBear

    MerBear
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    I have lack of self control for MOST things. Not just beverages
    (maybe i should have added that) and Yes that's what alcoholism is ...which what my mother was diagnosed with.

    I am aware that i shouldn't go down the same path...but there is something that's telling me, that if i do drink alcohol again (mere pleasure or opposite) then I will want it more and more. That's how most things start out even with general behavior.

    When i do something, i like or love. ....i'll want to do it more and more and its hard to stop
    (hence self control) ...it goes the same with eating, drinking....or just general emotions....I dont know how to express my emotion correctly so it makes it hard to control. My emotions generally do the same. If i start getting mad, then its hard to getting mad then i'll stay mad the rest of the day....or even the whole week.

    its not just drinking beverages, i have no self control...its general behavior and emotions too.

    thought, i might add that.
     
    #3 MerBear, Jun 26, 2013
  4. BudderMC

    BudderMC
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    If it's something you're concerned about, have you talked to a counsellor/therapist/etc. about it? The self-control, I mean.
     
    #4 BudderMC, Jun 26, 2013
  5. MerBear

    MerBear
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    No. I dont go to counselors/therapists because of past childhood problems with them. same goes for social services. I hate social service (where i live at least)
     
    #5 MerBear, Jun 26, 2013
  6. IntoTheDeep

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    Alcoholism runs in my family as well. Pretty much everyone on my father's side of the family is an alcoholic. My dad used to be as well, but he was able to quit before I was born and has been sober ever since. I have never had a problem with alcohol, although he constantly reminds me that it is something I need to be careful about, and it seems like that is true for you as well. If you think you are close to slipping down that road, the best thing you can do is talk to someone. It doesn't have to be a therapist, but just an adult you can trust, like a teacher, or even your sister (assuming she's older than you), who can get you the help you need.
     
    #6 IntoTheDeep, Jun 26, 2013
  7. Chip

    Chip
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    The short answer is yes, you are at extremely high risk of developing alcoholism. The combination of the familial/genetic predisposition, the difficulty with self-control with non-alcoholic beverages, and the desire to use alcohol when you're in a bad emotional place create the perfect storm to develop a serious alcohol problem very quickly.

    I'd suggest getting into therapy, or at least reading some self-help books to get some other strategies for finding healthier solutions to deal with the strong emotions. If you find yourself strongly tempted to drink, it might be helpful to try out going to an AA meeting. People think of them as only for alcoholics, but if you have it running in your family and have a fear of developing a problem, it wouldn't hurt for you to spend some time with others that are working on healthy solutions to stay sober.
     
    #7 Chip, Jun 26, 2013
  8. MerBear

    MerBear
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    Thank you chip. I just have to work myself up to go see a therapist. I just had never had this problem before where ...i craved alcohol/ or craved it to get out of my bad place ....

    I think, maybe that one night, i drank champagne....it sparked up my system and has been testing my body ever since

    ---------- Post added 26th Jun 2013 at 07:06 PM ----------
    Thank you and Yeah. I hope to try and work up the courage to talk to someone or go to a therapist.
     
    #8 MerBear, Jun 26, 2013
  9. Chip

    Chip
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    There's some evidence (coming from the same research that points to a genetic predisposition for alcoholism) that whatever it is that triggers alcoholism can stay dormant until one drinks a certain amount (or perhaps reaches a certain BAC), and then, the presence of a large enough amount of alcohol or BAC in the system can, even one time, activate the alcoholic tendency. This certainly isn't true for all, and maybe not even most, people... but definitely seems to be the case for some.

    I know how scary it can be to start therapy. I was there at one point in my life. The best advice I can give you is... try and push yourself to do it, perhaps by setting a specific date (within a week, perhaps) when you will pick up the phone and make at least two or three calls to find a therapist. The best way to ensure you do it is to do it *today* or with a nearby set deadline.

    You might also really benefit from checking out Brené Brown's TED talks on Youtube, "The Power of Vulnerability", "The Price of Invulnerability", and "Listening to Shame." It would take about an hour to watch all three, but it will give you a lot of insight into the pieces that are likely triggering the desire to drink.
     
    #9 Chip, Jun 26, 2013
  10. MerBear

    MerBear
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    Thank you for the insight :slight_smile:
    All i need is to tell my dad (since, i dont have a ride) and Money or insurance.
     
    #10 MerBear, Jun 26, 2013
  11. phoenixverde

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    I come from a family of alcoholics. It sounds like you will have to figure out what you're going to do. I didn't drink for the longest time because I was worried about the genetics. I was 24 before I realized that I do not have an addictive personality. It is a blessing that many people do not have. Alcoholism is so scary.

    Be careful and consider not every drinking again. Paint, draw, write, start running, read, etc. Anything to comfort yourself without having to resort to bad things you can get addicted to.
     
    #11 phoenixverde, Jun 26, 2013
  12. MerBear

    MerBear
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    i broke tonight. I poured some beer into my drink and then drank out of my dads can......I Needed it....I wanted it to. Its disgusting but so worth it
     
    #12 MerBear, Jul 1, 2013
  13. Chip

    Chip
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    The choice is yours.

    You can go down the path you're starting down... which will almost certainly lead you to a place you don't want to go...

    Or you can recognize you have a serious problem developing and get help.

    You cannot deal with this yourself. And saying "I needed it" is, of course, a bullshit rationalization.

    If you want to avoid the path you're starting down, the time is *now*. Not tomorrow, or next week, or next month, but now. AA meetings are free. If you contact your local AA and let them know you have no way to get to a meeting, someone can arrange to help you find transportation or pick you up. In many areas, there is free or low-cost counseling for people at risk for addiction.

    You don't have any barriers standing in the way of getting help, except yourself.

    The choice is yours.
     
    #13 Chip, Jul 1, 2013
  14. azrae1

    azrae1 Guest

    Don't drink, i just finished 3 bottles of wine this week...
     
    #14 azrae1, Jul 2, 2013
  15. HuskyPup

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    If you're worried about drinking, and don't care for the AA/12 step, 'higher power' approach, you might try a group called SMART recovery. It's a lot different than AA, and not based on anything religious or spiritual, and offers a lot of people help with various addictive behaviors/tendencies. They don't label alcoholism and such things as diseases, but as maladaptive behaviors. It works a lot better for many people, and they have both online and real-life support groups, and it's free. There's also Lifering, and SOS, two more alternative groups.

    The state of Maryland and others have been referring people to this program who find AA to be too rigid or religious in tone.

    I've had many friends recover outside of AA, and some in it; it's important to find what's a good fit for you, should you decide to sit in or involve yourself in such groups.

    Seeing a therapist is probably the best idea, though, and you can work from there.

    It sounds like you've caught this pretty early on, and still have time before it becomes something harder to get under control...hope things get better, but try to get some help, OK?
     
    #15 HuskyPup, Jul 2, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2013
  16. MerBear

    MerBear
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    AA is religious or have some religion involved?
     
    #16 MerBear, Jul 2, 2013
  17. HuskyPup

    HuskyPup
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    Well, not exactly, though in ways, it does. It's hard to explain, as they say it's 'spiritual', though a lot of what they read at the meetings comes off as pretty religious. The crux of the program is to admit you are helpless over alcohol, and then admit all your 'character faults' and 'take a moral inventory', and then have 'God' (however you define that) remove them. I never found this a big help, personally. But for some, it works.

    SMART uses a more modern approach, based on Cognitive psychology; if you Google SMART recovery, they have an online forum and such.

    I don't want to create a huge AA controversy, but I think it's not for everyone, and that people do benefit from finding an approach that suits them.
     
    #17 HuskyPup, Jul 2, 2013
  18. MerBear

    MerBear
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    Okay i'll googling it
     
    #18 MerBear, Jul 2, 2013
  19. HuskyPup

    HuskyPup
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    Best thing is just to check some various things out, and see what's a good fit for you...I don't wanna trash-talk any one approach, based on my own past, but it's a good thing to address sooner than later. And it's possible to take bits and pieces from different places...one doesn't have to buy into all of AA's ideas to find some benefit in it.
     
    #19 HuskyPup, Jul 2, 2013
  20. MerBear

    MerBear
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    Okay, i will :slight_smile: Thank you.
     
    #20 MerBear, Jul 2, 2013
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