Okay so I'm in this Program Explorers and in order to become an explorer, I have to go to every meeting for a whole year. I went to my first meeting 2 days ago and i observed for the most part. We did scenarios like if you pull someone over for running a red light, speeding etc then we switched groups and we stopped at this scenario about going into someones house for a warrant and Honestly, This program is NOT for me. I mean, I don't know what I even want to be. I thought at point a Cop and i accidently told my dad and he took it seriously and put me into this program and i'm begging my dad to take me out and He won't do it! This program is not for me. They do scenarios where you have to yell "Open up, this is the police!" and I am not the yelling type and Plus, I can't even act. I find it so fucking awkward if i yell "Open up, this is the police!" Like I mean, I hate yelling....I've dealt with it my whole entire life and I don't like it. Period. I can't act while doing these scenarios Because I know these are just scenarios and They aren't the real deal. I find awkward if were to yell, People will look at me and don't say, they won't look at me because no matter who's turn it is, they always look and Plus most of these people are explorers, meaning they have been to the meetings for a year. I only know one girl there who is new and she went to my middle school and I don't even know if she will be at the next meeting. I want out of it but my dad says he refuses. I'm not assertive and I have severe anxiety issues and I find the whole doing the scenarios awkward as it is. Another thing is i hate cops. I don't have much respect for them in my state because of personal experiences and stories i've heard I dont know what to do :help:?
I'd tell your dad, and say," Im serious! That program isn't for me, it isn't good for my anxiety and I hate yelling." Thats what I would do.
If your dad won't let you out of it then I say try to make the most of it. There were a LOT of things that made me feel awkward when I was your age, and a lot of things that still do. I'm very shy. I also have issues with anxiety. And I also would have trouble yelling in front of a group. But here's the thing, over the years I've realized that certain situations like the one you're in right now have helped me take baby steps to both feeling and becoming less awkward and anxious. I end up leaving with a "I did that. I accomplished that." feeling even if I felt awkward and/or anxious the whole way through it. It still gives me a sliver more confidence for next time. You shouldn't judge the position of police office by the unfortunately bad cops you've met. That is unfair to the good ones. You sure as heck can hate the bad ones, but it doesn't sound like you intend to become a bad cop. It sounds like your dad is trying to be supportive, and it sounds like at one point you had real interest in looking into becoming a cop. It isn't a bad idea to look into the job to see if your thought that you might like it is founded. If you really are no longer interested in any type of police work I'd say suggest an alternative that you are interested in to your father. He might let you switch to something else. And I'd like to add that just because something makes you feel awkward and anxious doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. That shouldn't be your sign to yourself to quit. I dare say that should be your sign to yourself to charge right in! But I understand. I really do. It too me a long long time to develop that attitude instead of running away, but I'm glad I did. I spent until my mid-twenties running away from things that made me uncomfortable and triggered my anxiety and I missed out on so much, and didn't make any steps toward overcoming some of my anxiety.
What parsley said. There is only one way to overcome anxiety, and that is giving yourself practise in situations where it is triggered. Yes it is embarassing/humiliating/stressful/definitely not fun.. and there will be times where you fail dismally and your anxiety crushes you... But ultimately you don't want to spend your life as a prisoner to anxiety, so you need to start chipping away the solid concrete walls with your little plastic spoon you stole from the cafeteria, the sooner the better.
Believe me, I'm talking about where i live hun. i've been around my state and city for a pretty long time and I have a good familiar sense with cops, believe me. There isn't really such thing as a 'good' cop Yes, there are those who put their life on the line but do know...there A lot of police brutality rates and People in the city are having to start bowing down to the police here but that's the republicans fault. that's what happens when your in a RED state. See, I don't like yelling though.....And feeling awkward.... feeling scared....feeling embarrassed, its a bad mixture and if i get yelled at or someone raises their voice with me....I'll start to choke up and cry. I'm VERY sensitive to criticism. I fucking hate it. I don't want to do this. I offered doing other things to my dad but he wont even listen to me
A police force is no place for somebody not comfortable with forcing their will on others. If you can't yell at people or even have faith in what you're doing because of discouraging personal experiences, you won't do well and all that effort would be wasted. Insist to your dad you made a huge mistake; eventually he'll get the message. I'm applying to the police academy right now actually, and while I don't agree that they deserve to be generalized as dicks (some absolutely are though), it's plain that not everyone would be well-suited for it. Could you possibly work in dispatch, or administrative work for a department? Not everybody has to be out there yelling and kicking in doors.
well You see...this is a thing where you meet up 2 times each month and I just happened to walk in at the wrong meeting. I can't act or even yell. I'm not forceful....unless i'm around someone i feel i could yell at or hit back at which is usually is my dad....(note, we have gotten in physical altercations) I Have begged him. Gave him my reasons. told him it was a mistake and He just says I'm being a drama queen. :tantrum:
Is there any way you could try to skip it? If you have your liscence, you might want to try just not showing up at all. Go to the mall or something like that.