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Feeling too weird for the world

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by SchwulIstCool, Jul 4, 2013.

  1. SchwulIstCool

    Regular Member

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    Dans mes rĂªves de New York et des blazers...
    This isn't really anything gay, it's just me being generally worried and stuff. So...

    I feel like I'm just too different for the world. Not in a gay way. In fact, being gay is probably the only 'different' thing I am actually completely comfortable with. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: It's just...I dunno. I feel like my entire personality is based on being a bit of quirky thing. Well, a bit. More than a bit. Yeah.

    And I feel like no one actually is going to appreciate it or appreciates it now. I feel like people want a normal version of me that doesn't actually exist. And if I try to be normal, I end up not speaking. I find it so difficult to find people that actually want to be more than just casual acquaintances. But people I do find, I either end up liking a bit too much or I just don't believe them when they say they're interested in getting to know me on a deeper level.

    I don't know what to do. :frowning2: I want to be myself and discover myself and let people see that person. But I know from experience that it's just...it doesn't work well. Do I normalise myself or do I just go for it and be myself?

    I mean, you could say 'oh just learn to love yourself and don't care about other people', but I do. I'm an extrovert of the highest order...and I just want to have friends and a boyfriend and good social life that doesn't mean drinking or whatever... My hobbies are slightly off-the-wall... I just need to know that I'm not alone. Hell, being gay is piss in comparison to this! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: I just want people to love for me for me, not for the normal quiet shy scared person I put out.

    Sorry for the rant. (&&&) but thanks if you got this far :slight_smile:
     
  2. Sardonic

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    First off: love the name, really really do.

    Anyway, on topic. I love the fact that you're so unique! I feel the same way sometimes, but then I remind myself that I have more fun with my life being who I am. Personally, I'm honest to a fault and very blunt about things. I believe that getting past the big things makes a friendship easier and more rewarding. That is to say, I use my secrets as a vetting process almost.

    I'll tell someone almost upfront "Hey, I'm bipolar. It's not a big deal, but if I ever act in this way or that way, keep in mind it's a disorder of mine, and try to be understanding." If they're uncomfortable with that, and me, then they will stop talking to me or avoid me. While it's a little painful, at this point they're not very close to me, so it's not too bad. Once you've come to accept a part of yourself, any part of yourself, wear it like a badge of honor.

    By no means does this mean to stop caring what other people think! But look at it this way. Being who you are and being zany and fun and curious and spontaneous and hilarious--these things annoy some people and attract others. By being an open book, personality wise, you are going to make sure that you are only around people who are OK with you. It's tough at first, but after you weed out the bad people, you have a very rewarding social life :slight_smile:
     
  3. justjade

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    I'm going to be 100% honest here....

    You sound like me. I used to worry so much about not being relevant in social situations and people thinking I'm weird, but I've noticed over the years that that's the thing my true friends enjoy about me.

    I'm pretty weird. I have weird hobbies. I like to make collages and build tiny houses on The Sims. I randomly burst into song when the mood strikes me. However, unlike you, I am very introverted. I'm not one to go to parties and have tons of friends. I don't particularly like going to clubs. I absolutely hate approaching strangers.

    I know you specifically don't want anyone to say this, but seriously, don't worry about other people. Don't normalize yourself because the world needs quirky, eccentric people like you. You are wonderful. You sound like the people I used to hang out with when I was attending community college. We had a lot of fun doing weird things like climbing trees and going geocaching. People will love you for you. It's just a matter of stumbling upon them.

    You can normalize yourself now if you really want to, but I promise you that you will almost definitely regret it. It's just like repressing anything else. Don't repress your uniqueness. Also, you say your hobbies are slightly off-the-wall. Would you mind telling me about them. I'm quite anxious to find out because I like doing things that most people find strange.
     
  4. Paper Crane

    Regular Member

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    Some people
    I am quite weird, but people at work like the weirdness I bring. As Justjade has said, I'm sure you will find people who are weird just like you. We can't be the only ones! And strange people stick together. :slight_smile: