First Time

[konfused612]

About a month ago I started dating this really nice guy. We’ve been taking it nice and slow (we didn’t even kiss till our fourth date). Our relationship has gotten more physically these past few weeks and we’ve worked our way up to blowjobs (before this I hadn’t gone beyond hand jobs). I have a feeling that it won’t be too long before we start having sex.

I am looking forward to it, but I have a few questions. First is concerning safe sex. My high school sex ed course didn’t mention gay people at all, so I’ve never really formally learned about safe gay sex (only safe straight sex). Obviously use a condom, but is there anything else I should do? Second is about being ready physically. In particular being physically ready to be a bottom (I intend to do both top and bottom). I guess I was wondering if there was anything I should do to clean my bottom before hand, or anything else I could/should do to help prepare my bottom.

Any thoughts or advice people have on this would be appreciated (even if it’s not about the specific questions I asked).

Thanks!

[TheWanderer]

Some great resources found right here on EC

Empty Closets - Anal Sex

Empty Closets - Gay Safe Sex

Empty Closets - Getting Clean for Anal Sex

Now speaking from my experience a\Ill add what I can on bottoming.

*Stop eating a few hours before sex.
*If possible go to the bathroom and have a bowel movement, this will clean out anything that is ready to exit
*USE LUBE!!! I cannot stress this enough. One it will make things a bit more comfortable and second it will help protect the rectum.
*Safe sex always, condoms are your friend.
*Try a finger or two to help get yourself get used to insertion. Maybe next time your in the shower just try it and see how it feels, step up to two fingers when your ready.

Up until now your body has a certain way of contracting the sphincter(the grouping of muscles around the anus) You are going to have to re-learn how to use and relax the muscles during sex. I guess the only way for me to say it is you need to relax them and say to yourself "let it in." Relax and take it easy.

Also, be very clear with your partner, speak up if something doesnt feel right or you want to stop. You mauy find that you just dont like to bottom.

I hope this helps, and hope everything goes well with you and your partner.

[Mogget]

From our Resources page on anal sex:

Most are concerned with being clean. The best method for achieving this is as follows: Warm water, soap, washcloth and towel. Wet the washcloth and soap it up, wash the area between the butt cheeks and up against the anus, but no need to scrub hard or vigorously, but a good lathering and wash, rinse, dry with towel and that is it. Use of enemas is not necessary or recommended.

The best way to make sure the rectum is clear of fecal matter is to learn to have good bowel habits and when you feel you have to take a dump, do so. Once you have a bowel movement, the rectum is usually clear. Use of enemas can stimulate things all the more and cause the rectum to fill with fecal material. So as much as possible, get a habit of moving the bowels at least once a day and with some it will be up to three times a day. It may not be perfect every time, but it is better than causing further problems with doing other things.

Read the whole page.