Need help for a friend

[507bro]

My friend keeps calling himself ugly. He thinks that he is disgusting to look at. Most of the people that compliment him, compliments him about his looks. I don't know why he is feeling this way. He is to the point where he wants plastic surgery. He keeps comparing himself to the celebrity and I keep trying to tell him that it's all fake and distorted. He sometimes get depressed that he can't look as pretty as the people he sees in music videos and photo. It's to the point where I don't know what to do. I keep telling him that he is not ugly that he is pretty and he keeps thinking that I am liying to him. I don't have any more options I really don't know what to do.

[Eleanor Rigby]

That's a tough call because you're friend seems to have a distorted body image and obviously can't listen to what people are telling him. He probably has a very low self-esteem and thinks that people who are telling him he is good looking are doing it out of pity or something like that.
I'm not sure there is anything you could do at this point, except being caring. I think it would be worth to suggest him to see a counselor or a therapist to talk about the fact he is depressed because of the way he looks. I'm not sure how responsive he would be, but that's worth the try.

Take care, Cécile

[sanguine]

Originally Posted by Eleanor Rigby

That's a tough call because you're friend seems to have a distorted body image and obviously can't listen to what people are telling him. He probably has a very low self-esteem and thinks that people who are telling him he is good looking are doing it out of pity or something like that.
I'm not sure there is anything you could do at this point, except being caring. I think it would be worth to suggest him to see a counselor or a therapist to talk about the fact he is depressed because of the way he looks. I'm not sure how responsive he would be, but that's worth the try.

Take care, Cécile

right on this one.

all you can do is be there for them with support, and that also means tough love at times too, one cant change if he is not willing to, so how will he ever believe in himself if he doesn't have it as an option, he also needs to stop looking to celebrities also, the media has a massive influence on what is beauty and what isn't which causes alot of people nowadays to have this feeling of "im not pretty enough" or "this is hot, this is not"

[KaraBulut]

As Eleanor indicated, it's a form of body image distortion. It's in the same category skinny people who look in the mirror and see themselves as fat. Because they are unable to "see" themselves objectively, no amount of reassurance by others will convince them.

Usually, this requires seeing a therapist. And even in therapy, it can be quite a challenge.

[midwestgirl89]

It sounds like he has some kind of body dysmorphia where he sees himself as ugly even if he isn't. I can't say that he has that though because I'm not a doctor. I agree with what others have said, you can just try to be there for him.

The thing that will really help him is counseling. He is the only one who can change his self image and it might take a long time. Self-esteem is something he has to build through practice and time. Has he considered counseling to understand why he feels ugly?

It sounds like you are a really great friend and that you are truly concerned for his well-being. However, don't forget to take care of yourself. It is exhausting when someone you care about has low self-esteem and won't listen to you. Try not to be discouraged when he doesn't listen to your compliments. You're not doing anything wrong. He is the only one who can change his own perception of himself.

Is this effecting you a lot?