emotional/mental health issues

[feverdreamt]

I don't really know how to explain this, but I will do the best that I can.
Ever since I fairly young (around 10 or 11) I started to become really neurotic; I have always been really shy and introverted. Well middle school wasn't too bad, but it did have its moments, it was the only time that i was ever physically bullied (by people whom i considered my friends) which in hindsight is probably what caused me to feel uncomfortable with being touched by people that i am close to, or just by people in general.
Fast forward to current date (currently 18 years old)

• -I pretty much isolate myself to my room most of the time; and its not even like im really all that preoccupied in my room, I pretty much just try and sleep or listen to music.. but occasionally i'll flex my creativity (guitar, visual art, writing, etc.)
• -I rarely if ever initiate a conversation with friends let alone strangers, I just feel like everybody is judging me (im pretty sure this is neuroticism)
• -I never feel comfortable with my physical appearance; every now and then I will fixate on a specific attribute of my body, however im almost constantly uncomfortable with with my body weight and by the girth of my thighs or abdomen.. the thing its not like i'm overweight or anything (i weight 125 lbs and im 5'10"). Sometimes I'll act upon this and eat less and exercise inside, usually with multiple layers of clothing on (and i know that can cause me to overheat, but if i didn't then i would not sweat as i do not sweat easily)
• -I just feel helpless/hopeless some times; I missed registration for college this semester completely due to my own procrastination, so i don't start until January; its just that ive messed up my life multiple times because i procrastinate so much, even with things that I enjoy doing

sorry for the long post, i just feel kind of stuck
any advice would be greatly appreciated