Lubrication help please... - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

EnglishTeenS · 23rd Nov 2011, 12:24 PM

Hi

Me and my boyfriend have booked a hotel for 2 weeks time and he demands that we swap positions this time (I usually bottom and I can just use spit and I am fine. We are both tested for HIV and get regularly tested so we bareback ). The only problem is I am around 8 and 3/4 inches and around 4 around ... so he is finding it extremely hard to get a little bit in at most :/ We used some KY lube and other various lubricants but they weren't so good. If anyone could provide any tips or recommendations it would be a big help,

Thank you

**Chip** · 23rd Nov 2011, 12:41 PM

Couple thoughts:

1. He might want to get a dildo or butt plug and prepare/practice a bit using that. It can take some practice and focus to be able to handle someone large.

2. A surprising amount of successful bottoming is in the mind; in other words, if he's in his mind got the idea that you're large and it's going to be painful, he'll unconsciouly tense up. One thing that can be really helpful is for him to, as you're preparing, just relax... breathe slowly and just imagine himself relaxing and opening up down there. It sounds hokey, but it really does make a difference. Likewise, when you penetrate him, he should take some slow, deep breaths and just envision himself being able to relax and take you.

3. Finally, I'd suggest getting a better quality lube. A silicone-based lubricant might be better than a water-based, and since you aren't using condoms, it's a good choice (Not a good choice with most condoms, as the silicone can degrade the latex.) You may have to go to a sex shop or somewhere other than a drugstore to find a good lube, but I think you'll find it to be quite an improvement over KY.

mike90 · 23rd Nov 2011, 01:48 PM

Completely agree with the advice about it being more psychological. If you spend a bit more time on foreplay it will make it easier for him to relax more and reduce the need for as much lube. I have heard that astroglide is good but I have not used it personally.

I know of someone who actually found that talc powder is the best lube for them.... so I guess that it is just a case of trial and error to find whats best for you. One final thing.... don't get the durex cherry flavoured stuff... it is too nice and you will probably end up eating the bottle (as me and some friends did for fun during a particularly boring free period at school in Scotland lol) xx

23rd Nov 2011, 12:24 PM	#1
EnglishTeenS Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: If I am asked, I say. Location: Bristol Age: 19 Posts: 29 Join Date: Jul 2011	Lubrication help please... Hi Me and my boyfriend have booked a hotel for 2 weeks time and he demands that we swap positions this time (I usually bottom and I can just use spit and I am fine. We are both tested for HIV and get regularly tested so we bareback ). The only problem is I am around 8 and 3/4 inches and around 4 around ... so he is finding it extremely hard to get a little bit in at most :/ We used some KY lube and other various lubricants but they weren't so good. If anyone could provide any tips or recommendations it would be a big help, Thank you __________________ "Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?"

23rd Nov 2011, 12:41 PM	#2
Chip EC Advisor EC Admin Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: northern CA Posts: 5,582 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Lubrication help please... Couple thoughts: 1. He might want to get a dildo or butt plug and prepare/practice a bit using that. It can take some practice and focus to be able to handle someone large. 2. A surprising amount of successful bottoming is in the mind; in other words, if he's in his mind got the idea that you're large and it's going to be painful, he'll unconsciouly tense up. One thing that can be really helpful is for him to, as you're preparing, just relax... breathe slowly and just imagine himself relaxing and opening up down there. It sounds hokey, but it really does make a difference. Likewise, when you penetrate him, he should take some slow, deep breaths and just envision himself being able to relax and take you. 3. Finally, I'd suggest getting a better quality lube. A silicone-based lubricant might be better than a water-based, and since you aren't using condoms, it's a good choice (Not a good choice with most condoms, as the silicone can degrade the latex.) You may have to go to a sex shop or somewhere other than a drugstore to find a good lube, but I think you'll find it to be quite an improvement over KY.

23rd Nov 2011, 01:48 PM	#3
mike90 Member Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Rugby - UK Age: 21 Posts: 96 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: Lubrication help please... Completely agree with the advice about it being more psychological. If you spend a bit more time on foreplay it will make it easier for him to relax more and reduce the need for as much lube. I have heard that astroglide is good but I have not used it personally. I know of someone who actually found that talc powder is the best lube for them.... so I guess that it is just a case of trial and error to find whats best for you. One final thing.... don't get the durex cherry flavoured stuff... it is too nice and you will probably end up eating the bottle (as me and some friends did for fun during a particularly boring free period at school in Scotland lol) xx __________________ Being gay is the best thing that has ever happened to me. If I was not I would never have met the most wonderful man in the world, my Peter.

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