Breasts Reductions/Rant about Boobs

[WillowMaiden]

Okay this is a rant about boobs. Just to warn you. I'm about to share some personal info about boobs and I'm kinda proud to say I'm not embarassed to do that here. If the subject may make you uncomfortable, best to just avoid. Whether this is read or not I just really need to get this off my chest (no pun intended.) There's also some foul language. In case you don't feel like reading the whole rant, my main point is to ask about breast reductions, so any comments you all have on that are valued.

To the point, I'm thinking about getting my boobs reduced. I've never liked them and they've only brought me trouble. They're so heavy that when I lift them (that right I have to lift them-red flag al-fucking-ready) they feel like two small weights in my hands. They didn't just get this way, they've been this way since they came in. In fact I do not have boobs, or boobies, nooooo that word is reserved for young girls with little perky nipples, girls who can where a wife beater or a tank top without a bra and not look like a fucking circus orangutan wearing human clothes to entertain the humans. God dammit! I am 18 years old, have never had a child, have never even had sex and you want to know what I have? Breasts. Not boobs, boobies or tits, but milk churning baby nursing breasts. They are horribly stradling that dreaded fence between big and long, a fence only 40 year old women should be worrying about, yet I see even them with responible sized chests much smaller than my own (meaning, yes, they fucking sag. They're still plump, meaty I guess you would say, but pointed at the ends and long. So much so that they cover half my torso). Oh and let's not even get on my nipples! You know why I mentioned nursing? Because it looks like that's exactly what I've been doing with them! Nuff said for now. And they've looked this way since puberty! Sleeping in a bra is very uncomfortable, but I've done so many times just to avoid seeing and feeling them lay there on top of me with the crushing weight an almost one year old baby. I hate the feel of them just as much as the sight, even when I'm alone in my pajamas. I don't even like walking around the house too much in my pjs because of how they move. They slap against my stomach and flap all over the place if I move too fast, so I sometimes have to position my arms weird, which makes me look strange as I walk, just to control them. It's just uncomfortable physically and mentally.

Besides being blobby, misshapen, and ugly, how have they brought me nothing but trouble? I'm so happy you asked.

1. School was hell. Girls treated me like a freak because I either wouldn't flaunt them or they just thought I looked weird. Boys oogling me made me very uncomfortable. I always wore big sweaters, kept them buttoned even when summer started to approach (not pleasant.) But still they were there and boys didn't like flirt or come on to me. Oh no. I was still an ugly loser. They just resorted to saying extremely inappropriate things about me while still talking shit about me. Girls did it too, but guys made more sex type jokes at my expense which, with my history, was not a good feeling. I've also been singled out by old creepers who have thought I was older than I appeared, also not a good feeling for me, terrifying.

2. As far as physical activity, fucking forget about it. Of course my bras never fit right so my 40 year old woman breasts flew all over the fucking place, bra slipping off here and there, sweat gathering under the massive flesh, not to mention the physical pain of them moving around. I did not have "side boob" patrons, that would suggest my only boob were visible from the side. If only that were the case. No, instead I had a boob on the side of my boob, longer than the first phrase, but self explanatory. I swear sometimes it felt like they were stretching every time they moves. And just going back to the bra, whenever I'm not wearing one or just take it off they fall and it really feels like they're stretching!

3. Clothes. Got a Clothes magazine in the mail did ya? Well you can fucking throw it away if you've got my fucking breasts because guess what? Nothing fits! I'm not obese. I'm certainly not skinny, but the biggest part of my body is my chest and for that reason I not only look and feel bigger, than I am. I can't even where clothes that are my size because my chest either looks even more misshappen or the clothes just don't fit. So I'm resorted to most of the time wearing boys clothes (not that I totally mind because boys have cool clothes.) But still! ...Girls clothes are nice. I don't want to be a butch or stud or whatever the boyish ones are called today, so even though they are comfortable and I like them, I don't want to always wear boys clothes because my body is oddly shaped.

4. Physically speaking. Back pain is implied, so my loathe for my milk machine breasts goes beyond that, I don't even mind that or the slouching anymore. In fact I would rather slouch because trying to sit up is annoying, tiresome, and hurts my back more than my natural slight slouch. I'm like "L" from Death Note in that sense. Other sorts of pain stems from how sensitive they are. Sometimes when I just move to grab something or I brush them with my arm or against a wall when turning a sharp corner, they hurt. Running is a pipe dream, walking fast is a physical irritant. I mean what the fuck is up with that, I'm not fucking pregnant and no this doesn't just happen when I'm on the rag, in fact when the rag is on the rack I don't feel shit. Not wearing a bra as I started is sometimes painful because they're so heavy that I can feel them being weighed down, like my skin is stretching with them, it's more of a discomfort than a severe pain most of the time. But speaking of which there are also times, increasing actually, where I'll just be sitting and a random pang or sting will occur right in the middle or at the nipple of tired middle-aged-woman-of-three breastses. That's the real pain. It feels like I've spranged something, like there's a funny bone in there or something...(there isn't right?)

4.5. Anyway, besides the pain side, how they physically look wears me down every time I look at them. I'm black. But instead of being one of those black people who are just one smooth shade of the chocolate rainbow, nooooo I've got a few shades sporadically placed all over my body, used but unused milk bags included. My nipples are actually the worse. Let's start at the base, which is dark brown, but cracked with light brown lines as its closer to the actually nipple part. It basically looks like someone painted on the base of my nipples and did a crap job at that because there are these specks of brown surrounding the base and then it looks like the painter stretched the "canvas" before it dried so some of the "paper" underneath the dark brown paint is showing through the cracks. Yeah, fucking tell me about it. And the actual nipple, well it's just a nipple, not extra long or anything like that surprisingly (seems all the size went to the width of the fucking badly painted on base.) The only thing about the actual button nipple part is the color also. Picture a cynlinder. It's dark brown on the sides, but the top is carmel colored. There you go. The most horrible thing by far about how my 18 year old lady bosom are the tiny, tiny bumbs that are spread all over them. What's in the bumps? I'm so happy you asked. Fucking hairs. These weird tiny shiny little sharp hairs that stick out just enough to see, but not enough to shave or pluck away. Every once in a while a really long one will grow south side, around the crater/pacifier nipples or east/west near the V shaped gap between the two sad plump slabs of flesh, where of course more darker slicker hair grows. Conclusively, I have a hairy chest. That's all there is to it. And no I don't have a few hairs on that flat area above my bosom that came be easily removed, no, no, no. My actual dead weight, flatened cone looking breasts have tiny hair sprouts. It's fucking field down there that makes them look like dead porcupine babies. Yup, that's my glorious, young, 18 year old fucking reality.

You know a lot of the time I just think about getting a complete masectomy just to not have them on me any longer, weighing me down physically and emotionally (because I despise them so.) You know how much of a shit person I feel like when I see some girl who's like way bigger than me overall size wise and I can easily tell that my mutant chesticles are bigger than hers? It's Wonderfully Fucked Up Life is what it is. Why am I referencing old movies? I don't know, just go with it. This wasn't supposed to be a rant about my chest, but that's what it always turns into. I do have a question.

Breast reductions, how do we feel about them? I'm thinking about saving up and treating myself to one. Or how about chest binders like ftms wear? If there are any non surgical ways to make these things better I'll take a tip or two. Has anyone had or know someone who has had one and if so what was it like, regret it or is it one of the best decisions ever made?

Oh and I'm a 36I. Yeah, fucking I. What happened to A-D? Good question, don't fucking know.

Well that's all I'm gonna let you people go. Feel free to make fun if you want anything you say I'm sure I've thought of already and if I haven't kudos to you, you creative bastard. And feel free to share your own boob tales. I can't be the only one with boob issues. Anyway, thanks for taking the time.

[Hexagon]

I have boob issues... but I'm trans. Actually, that reminds me of how I feel about my boobs, even though I'm only a B cup (thank god).

I seriously wouldn't advise wearing a binder as a cisgendered person. but if you have to, i get mine from ?????????? Love Boat Shop Chest Binder

I would advise you to get the reduction surgery. Its obviously not good for your back, and you don't like em as big as they are. The only other way I know of reducing boob size is going on testosterone and it doesn't do much. And will make you a man...

[Cantthinkofone]

Well I'm a C/D (depends on a bra) and it really bothers me sometimes, particularly because i have back pain and i always slouch because of them. I wouldn't do surgery because they're not that big and they keep my body from looking pear-shaped (i have a tiny waist and wider thighs). But I think you should deffinitely try and save up for a reduction...because when I think of all the problems I have with the C's/D's i can't imagine what it must be like for you...particularly for your back

[KaraBulut]

Originally Posted by WillowMaiden

Breast reductions, how do we feel about them? I'm thinking about saving up and treating myself to one. Or how about chest binders like ftms wear? If there are any non surgical ways to make these things better I'll take a tip or two. Has anyone had or know someone who has had one and if so what was it like, regret it or is it one of the best decisions ever made?

Oh and I'm a 36I. Yeah, fucking I. What happened to A-D? Good question, don't fucking know.

Given the size and some of the complications that you've mentioned, you have enough medical justification for a surgical breast reduction. If you are on a group medical plan, it will cover the cost of the surgery, less the deductible.

[Hana Solo]

Being an E cup, I can certainly sympathise with you. I absolutely hate the size mine are and wish they'd stayed a C...

I can't even imagine having I cups. It sounds horrid. I'd definately go for the surgery if I were you. From what you've said, you've got a more than sound medical platform for it.

[Bibliophile]

Ok first of all as for how I feel about surgury well in my opinion if you have a medical reason its really a good idea. For you it sounds like just on the medical side alone it would be best. It also sounds as if it would help you feel better about yourself. So I would say go for it if you are able just please pick a really good doc for this and seek medical advice before going under the knife.

Secondly I want to comment on your self image problems. From what you described you have breasts similar to my ex-wifes though they were not as large. I just want to say in spite of how you feel about them there are many people out there like myself that love larger boobs and would find them attractive. You to me do not sound disguising at all and I just wanted to say that to give you a pick me up because you seem down on yourself. I doubt my words will change how YOU see yourself but know that not everyone would take such a negative light on your body shape. Hope that didnt come off as creepy or hitting on you because I am trying to be nice but the more I type the odder it sounds to even me. So I stop and hope I got my point across.

[Countervail]

Boobs make me feel like a man, I mean, every time I go to the shop, the first thing I'll notice about the cashiers are their boobs not because I'm jealous of it(I'm NOT a trans) but because I like looking at it.

My classmate's too whenever they wear uber sexy attire

sorry for that, and mind you, I'm not a pervert :P

[WillowMaiden]

Originally Posted by Bibliophile

Ok first of all as for how I feel about surgury well in my opinion if you have a medical reason its really a good idea. For you it sounds like just on the medical side alone it would be best. It also sounds as if it would help you feel better about yourself. So I would say go for it if you are able just please pick a really good doc for this and seek medical advice before going under the knife.

Secondly I want to comment on your self image problems. From what you described you have breasts similar to my ex-wifes though they were not as large. I just want to say in spite of how you feel about them there are many people out there like myself that love larger boobs and would find them attractive. You to me do not sound disguising at all and I just wanted to say that to give you a pick me up because you seem down on yourself. I doubt my words will change how YOU see yourself but know that not everyone would take such a negative light on your body shape. Hope that didnt come off as creepy or hitting on you because I am trying to be nice but the more I type the odder it sounds to even me. So I stop and hope I got my point across.

I know you're not creeping. I understand what you're saying. Large boobs isn't a problem for everyone. In fact one person with large breasts that I do look up to is Christina Hendricks. She's gorgeous and carries herself well. I always tell myself if I can't get or decide against the reduction, then I would love to take on her...I don't know, swagger, for lack of a better word. Sometimes I try to walk like her after watching Mad Men, have her confidence and demeanor, but quickly feel like a jackass and stop. Part of my desire for this reduction is to help my body image problems, which I hate to even admit that I have sometimes because I know it's stupid. However, I also know that one day if they stay the same, I will learn to be proud of them and "work" them the right way. But now...eh, I'm not feeling it just yet. It's gonna take a while, but I do want to think that way in the future. Your point is well received, you're very sweet. Thanks.

---------- Post added 24th Dec 2011 at 11:11 PM ----------

Thanks everyone for commenting.

One con that comes up when I think about surgery is my ability to breast feed. I don't want anything important in there to get...hell I don't know...messed up or moved around, making it not possible for me to breast feed, just to make my boobs smaller. And I know a kid doesn't need to be breast feed, it's just something I want to do or at least be able to do once or twice. This is definitely something I'll have to ask the Doc a lot of questions about. Surgery is scary enough without worry about mishaps. Jeez, I should have laid off the whole milk when I was kid.

[Aya McCabre]

If you're having back pain you should have no trouble getting a doctor to discuss options with you, or a referral to someone who can talk about it with you. They should be able to answer questions about breast feeding etc so you know where you stand.
It's probably a good idea to do that even if you're not sure you want them reduced now. It can take time to get through the system and having it on record that you've talked about it can help. I know a couple of people who waited because they wanted kids and now wish they hadn't because secondary back injuries have made things worse and they now have to wait ages to get anywhere.

[Rooni321]

Well I don't know anything about breast reductions but I do want a lift and wonder if there is tiny nipple surgery! I'm so jealous of those girls with nice boobies, I hate mine so much. And it doesn't help that I get acne on my chest! Ewwww.

I say go for it! The only thing I'd be scared of is the pain lol

[WillowMaiden]

Originally Posted by Rooni321

Well I don't know anything about breast reductions but I do want a lift and wonder if there is tiny nipple surgery! I'm so jealous of those girls with nice boobies, I hate mine so much. And it doesn't help that I get acne on my chest! Ewwww.

I say go for it! The only thing I'd be scared of is the pain lol

I hear you on the tiny nipple surgery.

I'm jealous of girls with nice boobs too. People think I stare at boobs to be all "hey look at the girl, I'm checking her out." But really most of the time I'm thinking "They're round, small, but not non existent, plump, and I know she has normal sized nipples...goddammit, why don't I have boobs like that! " I'm taking boobie notes to complete my round of boob envy for the day. Jeez, I really can't stand my boobs.

[waitingfordawn]

My god, I'm a D and I thought my boobs were too big! I'm not making fun, I totally sympathize with you, I hate having big boobs. :/ Especially compared to my mom--she makes jokes all the time, like, "Why don't you give me some of your breasts?" and I'm like, "I will gladly. GLADLY." My sister complains about her tits being too small and I'm like... DUDE. You do not want larger breasts! They only cause problems! I'd be down for a lift, tbh. It's the only cosmetic surgery I'd be willing to undergo... for now. We'll see when I'm older, haha.

I hope you'll one day have nipple confidence. (L Word, anyone? ) Seriously though, I really hope you can become confident about your body. It's hard, but it's worth it--just tell yourself that you're beautiful as you are, and keep telling yourself until you believe it. It seems like a really silly or trivial thing to do, but just look in the mirror and tell yourself--even if it's just in your head--that you're beautiful. Do it enough times, and it'll start to work its magic--you'll believe it. Of course, it's a long process, and we all have our good days and our bad days in terms of body confidence. And if you find you still want to change your body, then do it! Do what makes you feel good about yourself.

[Ianthe]

I'm 36DD (which I think is the same as E in a different sizing system), and I have a hard enough time finding clothes. I almost always have to go up at least a full size to accommodate my chest. Then they don't fit right in other ways. It's a pain. I'm learning some sewing techniques so that I can get clothes that fit my chest and take them in where they are too big.

Before I was out, I was really uncomfortable with men looking at me. Especially before I was out to myself, and wasn't sure if I was interested in them at all. It made me feel trapped.

Since I'm out, I still don't like it much, but it's like, "whatever, I'm gay. I'm not for you." And now, there are people that I actually LOVE having look at me, you know, like that. It feels amazing.

So, where I used to wear big shapeless sweaters a lot, and definitely high-neck things that concealed my cleavage, I now wear fitted and lower-cut tops and dresses. And I love it; I've never felt so good about myself.

It's possible that being really out in the future will change the way you feel about your body to some degree. With a chest as large as yours, I think you will very likely still want surgery, if only for the physical problems it causes. But it might change how much you want your breasts reduced, or something like that. (If you are going to do it, I would recommend a D cup, which is just small enough that most styles of bras are available in stores in your size. But of course, you would need to decide for yourself.)

It's possible that a lot of the distress that you feel about this is related to you being uncomfortable with guys looking at you, and shaky in your confidence about your sexuality.

I think it's a good idea to take Aya's advice and ask some questions of a doctor, but maybe wait on a final decision until you've fully come out and had a chance to settle in to that and see how you feel.

According to BFAR - Breastfeeding After Breast and Nipple Surgeries , there are advanced surgeries that should be able to preserve your ability to breast feed. Apparently, the trick is to be sure that the nipple isn't fully severed, even if it's moved. But you should definitely talk to a doctor about it.