Are you desensitized?

[KrisBrooks]

I heard that if you masturbate too much, and/or watch too much porn, that you can become desensitized to real sex...that sounds totally crazy, but I was wondering if it was actually true, lol cause if it is, I'm in trouble!

[Chip]

Porn can definitely desensitize you, and it also has the effect of creating a somewhat unrealistic view of what sex is. (That 10 or 15 minute scene you watched involved those guys sitting around for sometimes 3 or 4 hours filming all of the shots to make it look all neat and tidy and hot.)

Masturbating "too much" is sort of a judgment call, because masturbation frequency isn't a common topic of conversation for most people (except, it seems, on EC) So the perception of "too much" for some people is more than 5 times a day, while "too much" for other people might be 5 times a month.

I think the key thing here is intention and thoughtfulness. If you're watching porn multiple times per day time and masturbating to it, it might develop into an unrealistic perception of what sex should be, and real sex might be a letdown. But if you moderate your porn consumption, and mix up your masturbation so it's some with porn and some just fantasizing in your mind's eye and taking your time, I think you'll find that it's more enjoyable, and also that you're less desensitized.

[KrisBrooks]

Well I no longer watch porn when I masturbate, been about two weeks, I really on watch it on the weekends, because I think it's hot. I try to masturbate every other day, which I can do during the week, but on the weekends I end up doing it everyday, sometimes twice.
Thing, I used to let porn get me hard, now I like to get myself hard on my own accord, and when I masturbate, I fantasize in my head, which has turned out to be much more enjoyable!
But like I said, I still do watch porn just because I like to, but not a lot, it's in moderation when I get bored.

[Austin]

I can't help but read all your messages in Bree's voice which makes them rather humorous....

Anyways, I'd like to say that not all porn the porn stars sit around for 3-4 hours to make the scene. "Porn" is not exclusive to the big porn companies who make porn for profit. The word "porn" can also be applied to amateur stuff where the people enjoy being filmed having real sex or enjoy getting others off.

If this was int he anonymous section I'd post my own experiences, but it is not. So that's all my input. :P

[nate16]

Hey there, a while back i was in the same boat as you and wondering about the desensitisation of watching porn. I agree with the "everything in moderation." aspect. I dont watch it that much, if anything just a bit every other weekend-i definitely prefer fantasizing. When i do, i cant stand the theatrical stuff at all. It seems so tacky to me. Just thought id put my opinion put there.

[sexyalex]

Originally Posted by Austin

I can't help but read all your messages in Bree's voice which makes them rather humorous....

Hey Austin, if I told you that I did the same thing. Would you hold it against me?

looool!

I think everyone has already told you exactly what I would have. Its real and its all dependent on what is too much or too little masturbation for you. It's just one of those things. Personally speaking though, if you're mature enough to be watching porn then your mature enough to be able to set the bar for yourself. Draw the line and know when enough is enough.

[Paper Heart]

Hey there, I think I see things a little differently from everyone else. Are you talking losing sensation in your penis during sex? Because that can be a result of gripping too tightly during masturbation. If that's the case, you might want to cut down on masturbating for a few weeks at least, so your body can "forget" the grooves you carved in. Then slowly start doing it again, while making sure that you don't grip as tightly. Hope this helps!

[toremi]

Originally Posted by Austin

The word "porn" can also be applied to amateur stuff where the people enjoy being filmed having real sex or enjoy getting others off.

I support this message. This is the hotter porn anyway... by. far.

I am beginning to believe the same thing with the correlation of masturbation and porn. As I have been single for a while now and not really hooking up I think both have become too frequent for my own liking. I need to kick it back a bit....

But oddly enough I was reading up on bisexuality the other night -- since I am really just coming into my own and apparently... as a general rule, which doesn't apply to all but still -- bisexuality is generally linked with higher sex drives as well as having more sexual fantasies.

Which in my case, I definitely think is true

[Chip]

Originally Posted by KrisBrooks

Well I no longer watch porn when I masturbate, been about two weeks, I really on watch it on the weekends, because I think it's hot. I try to masturbate every other day, which I can do during the week, but on the weekends I end up doing it everyday, sometimes twice.
Thing, I used to let porn get me hard, now I like to get myself hard on my own accord, and when I masturbate, I fantasize in my head, which has turned out to be much more enjoyable!
But like I said, I still do watch porn just because I like to, but not a lot, it's in moderation when I get bored.

It doesn't sound like you've got any issues to be concerned with. I know people who watch porn because it's funny, or because they find it hot, but not for sexual gratification, so what you're saying makes sense. And there's nothing wrong with masturbating every day or twice a day, as long as it isn't keeping you from other things or getting you to obsess about it.

And it's great that you've discovered that fantasizing in your head is more enjoyable. It really is, and one thing that I think is unfortunate is we have a whole generation of people, a lot of whom simply can't get off without looking at porn, and that's both unfortunate, and, I think, can lead to problems in relationships.

So it sounds like you're on the right track.

Originally Posted by austin

Anyways, I'd like to say that not all porn the porn stars sit around for 3-4 hours to make the scene. "Porn" is not exclusive to the big porn companies who make porn for profit. The word "porn" can also be applied to amateur stuff where the people enjoy being filmed having real sex or enjoy getting others off.

If this was int he anonymous section I'd post my own experiences, but it is not. So that's all my input. :P

Austin is totally right. Self-made porn is becoming very popular and is certainly more real (even if the production values usually leave a lot to be desired.) And many people find the self-made stuff, and even the so-called "amateur porn" which is made usually by smaller companies, but without scripting and so forth, to be much, much more interesting than the high-budget commercial stuff.

[KaraBulut]

Originally Posted by KrisBrooks

I heard that if you masturbate too much, and/or watch too much porn, that you can become desensitized to real sex...that sounds totally crazy, but I was wondering if it was actually true, lol cause if it is, I'm in trouble!

The concern with porn is not desensitization as much as it is addiction and depersonalization.

Porn- whether it be photos, videos or erotica, is not intended to be a replacement for dating, romance and interaction with another person. And when it replaces fantasy to the point that it becomes the means to get off, then it can be a problem. And very often, when jacking off to porn has become a habit, it can make it difficult to get off with another person.

The other concern is the way that it objectifies people into sex machines that are always-perfect bodies with enormous perfect penises that are always hard. The reality is that sex is messy, bodies are imperfect and people have preferences and feelings.

And as the other posters have mentioned, it's supposed to augment a healthy sex life, not replace it.

[seeksanctuary]

I don't think it's necessarily true. I watched porn almost every day, and real sex is still very amazing to me. My boyfriend is no porn star bodied man, either, and I still see him as handsome and desirable.

It all depends on the person involved.

[stumble along]

I highly doubt that watching porn would desensitize you.
When you're in the moment with someone you want to have sex with you might just have a problem keeping it under control instead of worrying about it.
Then again, i only went on one porn binge for three days and havent even considered going back to watching it, to me it kind of feels boring, But I do masturbate at least once a day and haven't had a problem yet, if anything I'm able to last a treensy bit longer than when I started.

[stuwee]

Porn is just images, and the largest sex organ in/on your body is between your ears and it's filled with images/thoughts/words that turn you on.

Everything in moderation is the key to a long and happy life

[Gleeko0]

Originally Posted by KaraBulut

The other concern is the way that it objectifies people into sex machines that are always-perfect bodies with enormous perfect penises that are always hard. The reality is that sex is messy, bodies are imperfect and people have preferences and feelings.

Thats right. But i personally find that kind of "perfect" porn extremely fake, like it doesn't turn me on like the "self-made" porn, like Toremi said, by far the "amateur" porn is the hotter one.

Originally Posted by Chip

Austin is totally right. Self-made porn is becoming very popular and is certainly more real (even if the production values usually leave a lot to be desired.) And many people find the self-made stuff, and even the so-called "amateur porn" which is made usually by smaller companies, but without scripting and so forth, to be much, much more interesting than the high-budget commercial stuff.

So, i understand here that the problems that come with watching too much porn is that it tends to give us an image of "perfect sex, with perfect bodies, perfect sex organs" and stuff right? Which leads people to desensitization while in real sex, because its "messy, bodies are imperfect and people have preferences and feelings".

I have a question, and I'd like to create a situation to explain it:

Lets suppose 2 people watch Too Much porn, one watches the high-budget commercial stuff, which creates the image of "perfection" in sex, and the other person watches the "amateur" kind of porn which is virtually as messy and imperfect as the real thing, i know everything in excess is bad, but in this case the 2nd person would be "less" desensitized by that amount of porn it watches?

Its more of a curiosity. I think its interesting to discuss if the desensitization problem lies in the kind of porn or in the quantity/frequency you watch it, or if its more related to how often you masturbate (or even how you do it). Its something nice to know, even more when its something you can use to make sex even more enjoyable than it already is !

[malachite]

I would say you could become used to that certain type of stimuli and sex might be little less enjoyable just because its not what you're used to, but as far as you'll never enjoy sex, that'd be a no

[Bedroom Hymns]

I hope not.

[Tracker57]

My two points that are completely on a different track....

1. If you are circumcised, then the glans of your penis is already desensitized and it will only get worse. You can restore your foreskin and increase your sensitivity immensely. We can't post links on here, but if you do a search you'll find plenty of info.

2. Masterbating can train your body to climax faster or to different simuli than then "regular" sex. Watch what you're doing and see if you are retraining your body to react sooner or later. (I remember reading this in a Men's Health article.) I've never thought about it, but you could probably masterbate and train yourself NOT to climax sooner, too.

Good luck.

Tracker

PS: And use a good moisturizer down there if you're jerking off dry. One buddy of mine uses Chapstick on his glans. Since your lips and your glans are made of the same tissue. He says it works wonders!

[Z3ni]

I don't think it does, coz in sex your touching skin to skin.