Orgasm & Porn

[peanutbutter]

What is sex if no one has an orgasm? Is it still considered sex? I'm lost. My friend and I are having this convo about porn.. She is an uber lesbian (just saying) lol but I don't understand porn because it's so fake and not passionate. I feel like it degrades sex. Just sounds of what oral sex on a girl should sound like. I wondered do porn stars even come or ejaculate? IDK.

Is sex the same if you dont ever climax? I know people go through life without orgasms but so are you just having sex "exercise through genitals?"

[Chip]

If you're talking about male stars (which is implied by "ejaculate") then yes, most of them do ejaculate. If you're talking about female porn stars orgasming, some do and some don't. It's a little easier to fake if you're a girl than a guy

As far as degrading sex... for some people, there's no question that porn is degrading. But others find it exciting and stimulating, and many of those who perform in it genuinely love doing it and are just very open and comfortable with their sexual selves. But there are plenty of others who have a lot of shame about it, or are just doing it for the money, and for them, it can be a very unhealthy thing.

Likewise, some people watch porn and are very open and comfortable about it, while others feel a lot of shame. It all really has to do with your mindset and, to an extent, how you were raised. I don't think one can make a blanket statement one way or the other about how it affects people, because there are so many variables.

[No One]

Male stares definitely ejaculate. It's a lot of what people find attractive about porn.

I personally believe porn is only degrading when it is unrealistic. Porn can be a great tool to relieve sexual frustration when your sex life is lacking an can be a great thing when used in moderation. I agree with Chip in the aspect that porn affects people in many different ways, and it is hard to say "this is how it is" because there really is no single way to classify it.

[djstcktn326]

Well, in my opinion, pornography does degrade sex. Sex is about passion, caring, gentle love. You don't have to achieve orgasm to call it sex, you should have two passionate people who love each other. And from what I heard, porn stars do not enjoy having sex and they don't ejaculate or have an orgasm. Former porn stars said that it's impossible to achieve orgasm without being drunk or high. That's what I heard though.

[No One]

Originally Posted by djstcktn326

Well, in my opinion, pornography does degrade sex. Sex is about passion, caring, gentle love. You don't have to achieve orgasm to call it sex, you should have two passionate people who love each other. And from what I heard, porn stars do not enjoy having sex and they don't ejaculate or have an orgasm. Former porn stars said that it's impossible to achieve orgasm without being drunk or high. That's what I heard though.

I agree that sex is about passion, and in many cases love. However, for some people it doesnt have to be about love, but it can still have passion.

The fact that you have to say "that's what [you] heard" shows how much of a misconception that is. Many popular porn stars will say very proudly that they continue to do what they do because they love it. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable with your sexuality and enjoying sharing it with others. Men really cant fake an orgasm (you can't fake ejaculation no matter how hard you try) and male porn stars definitely orgasm; not that I believe that orgasm is required for something to be called sex, although I do believe that it is one of the best parts.

[djstcktn326]

Yeah I probably shouldn't have said that. Darn it I took college English, I should know this! Lol.

[b0i70y]

Originally Posted by No One

I agree that sex is about passion, and in many cases love. However, for some people it doesnt have to be about love, but it can still have passion.

The fact that you have to say "that's what [you] heard" shows how much of a misconception that is. Many popular porn stars will say very proudly that they continue to do what they do because they love it. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable with your sexuality and enjoying sharing it with others. Men really cant fake an orgasm (you can't fake ejaculation no matter how hard you try) and male porn stars definitely orgasm; not that I believe that orgasm is required for something to be called sex, although I do believe that it is one of the best parts.

I think that's the distinction between having sex and making love.

And, as a man who can fake an orgasm, it can be done. When I have sex with women, I almost never have an orgasm, but I do ejaculate.

Just sayin'.

[Pseudojim]

Originally Posted by djstcktn326

Well, in my opinion, pornography does degrade sex. Sex is about passion, caring, gentle love.

Not always. It can be, of course, but i have had plenty of sex simply for the fun and pleasure of it, with friends i have no romantic feelings for.

[Mad Man L]

Orgasm really isn't really necessary for women all the time. I know one friend of mine had sex with his GF who couldn't orgasm. Apparently she got close, but she just couldn't.

For men, however, it's a necessary thing. In straight sex, male orgasm is the 'full stop'. In gay sex, generally the top HAS to orgasm, and the bottom will orgasm sometime before or after - forming a 'full stop'.

I don't find porn degrading - sex only has love/intimacy attached if you want it to be attached to those feelings. Sex can just be a release valve like porn if one so wished (hence friends-with-benefits and prostitution). And the people participating are doing it voluntarily, so I don't see it as 'abusive'.

[No One]

Originally Posted by Mad Man L

Orgasm really isn't really necessary for women all the time. I know one friend of mine had sex with his GF who couldn't orgasm. Apparently she got close, but she just couldn't.

For men, however, it's a necessary thing. In straight sex, male orgasm is the 'full stop'. In gay sex, generally the top HAS to orgasm, and the bottom will orgasm sometime before or after - forming a 'full stop'.

I don't find porn degrading - sex only has love/intimacy attached if you want it to be attached to those feelings. Sex can just be a release valve like porn if one so wished (hence friends-with-benefits and prostitution). And the people participating are doing it voluntarily, so I don't see it as 'abusive'.

I very much agree with most of this, except for the part that says that orgasm is a necessary thing for all men. While I agree that in a lot (if not most) cases orgasm is the goal, sometimes the point of sex is to actually enjoy the act. I think it is entirely possible to have meaningful sex without orgasm and ejaculation.