New here - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Hana Solo · 22nd Nov 2011, 03:20 PM

I'm here because my boyfriend is a crossdresser who just came out to his parents and they rejected him, and are trying to keep us apart now. He asked and I lent him my clothes because he's not comfortable in his own skin and I desperately wanted to help him but his parents won't let me explain myself.

I've being dating him for near on five months and throughout that time I have tried to give my old friends as much time as I can- but they hate him and one asked me to uninvite him from youth group 'so he can talk to me' which he never has done before at youth, one used to be my best friend before I went out with him, and promised me we would be friends 'no matter what' but then played the 'friends don't go out with friend's exes' card she went out with him for a month before, but I was his first girlfriend a year ago, and now she won't talk to me. The group they belong to is a really cruel group who torments people with spiders and teases a particular person horribly and today one of my oldest friends asked me to start spending more time with my old friends. When I told him that I wasn't because they weren't good friends and it had nothing to do with my BF we had an argument.

They've never being good friends and I've always meant to bring the friendship down to a casual level, but they refused to me now I have, which I don't really care about, honestly. I've being spending lots of time on my own since my friend decided I was a waste of space for dating my bf and realised I'm a lot better off now than I was.

I guess I'm just concerned about whether I did the right thing. Now his parents are trying to seperate us now he's come out to them about crossdressing and won't let me see him outside school and probably want us to break up but I love him and won't do that. I refuse to let him go.

I'm also feeling a little low. I have no friends but my best friend who lives in another town and my bf. I'm glad my parents have supported me though. I don't know how I'd cope if they hadn't.

thecat06 · 22nd Nov 2011, 04:08 PM

Hello and Welcome!!
I'm sorry that all of this has happened to you.

Hana Solo · 22nd Nov 2011, 04:12 PM

Thanks

zillymilly · 22nd Nov 2011, 05:56 PM

Wow, well, first off, welcome (although, I'm a newbie too, hehe)

Secondly, I think you should trust your judgement--and it's something we all have to do--get rid of friends who do not deserve our friendship.. I had to do it when I was younger for some of the same reasons, but it gets better and eventually you find people who accept you and the ones you love for who they are.

Anyway, haha, didn't mean to turn into.. that little rant on your intro post, just wanted to say that I think you know what's best for you, and I think you're really brave for standing up for what you believe in.. it can be bloody hard to stand up against friends, I get that, I think we all get that, so good on you..

tc

Noir · 22nd Nov 2011, 06:09 PM

Welcome to EC!

That sounds rough, but it's good he has someone like you to support him, if only in spirit for the time being. ^-^ I'll bet you both have something to be thankful for this week!

Doctor Faustus · 22nd Nov 2011, 06:39 PM

Hello, welcome! Sorry to hear about your bf's experiences.

If there's anything I can do to help/support, please do write to me.

Very best wishes,

Doctor Faustus (Gah-Kai)

Hana Solo · 22nd Nov 2011, 06:54 PM

Thanks guys

its nice to have support. It's something you just can't talk about ya know?

Nazo · 22nd Nov 2011, 07:38 PM

Heyo, welcome to EC!

Artemicion · 22nd Nov 2011, 09:49 PM

Hi and welcome to EC.

alex2020 · 22nd Nov 2011, 10:27 PM

Bienvenue!!

Aeon Magus · 22nd Nov 2011, 10:56 PM

Hello, Hana, and welcome to EC.

**Gerry** · 22nd Nov 2011, 11:26 PM

Hi and welcome to EC!

Hope you find what you're looking for here.

silverhalo · 26th Nov 2011, 06:03 AM

Hey welcome to EC.

22nd Nov 2011, 03:20 PM	#1
Hana Solo EC's Dear Abby- talk to me! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Mostly into girls Out Status: Closet is getting a little crowded Location: Not even a dot on the Australian map Age: 17 Posts: 1,096 Join Date: Nov 2011	New here I'm here because my boyfriend is a crossdresser who just came out to his parents and they rejected him, and are trying to keep us apart now. He asked and I lent him my clothes because he's not comfortable in his own skin and I desperately wanted to help him but his parents won't let me explain myself. I've being dating him for near on five months and throughout that time I have tried to give my old friends as much time as I can- but they hate him and one asked me to uninvite him from youth group 'so he can talk to me' which he never has done before at youth, one used to be my best friend before I went out with him, and promised me we would be friends 'no matter what' but then played the 'friends don't go out with friend's exes' card she went out with him for a month before, but I was his first girlfriend a year ago, and now she won't talk to me. The group they belong to is a really cruel group who torments people with spiders and teases a particular person horribly and today one of my oldest friends asked me to start spending more time with my old friends. When I told him that I wasn't because they weren't good friends and it had nothing to do with my BF we had an argument. They've never being good friends and I've always meant to bring the friendship down to a casual level, but they refused to me now I have, which I don't really care about, honestly. I've being spending lots of time on my own since my friend decided I was a waste of space for dating my bf and realised I'm a lot better off now than I was. I guess I'm just concerned about whether I did the right thing. Now his parents are trying to seperate us now he's come out to them about crossdressing and won't let me see him outside school and probably want us to break up but I love him and won't do that. I refuse to let him go. I'm also feeling a little low. I have no friends but my best friend who lives in another town and my bf. I'm glad my parents have supported me though. I don't know how I'd cope if they hadn't.

22nd Nov 2011, 04:08 PM	#2
thecat06 EC's Biggest LNJF and SNL fan!! Full Member Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! Out Status: Out to parents, campus, and 75 friends on facebook Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 19 Posts: 2,504 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: New here Hello and Welcome!! I'm sorry that all of this has happened to you. __________________ So many years have passed, since I proclaimed my independence, my mission, my aim, and my vision, so secure, content to live each day like it's my last, it's wonderful to know, that I could be, something more than what I dreamed, far beyond what I could see -Dream Theater

22nd Nov 2011, 04:12 PM	#3
Hana Solo EC's Dear Abby- talk to me! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Mostly into girls Out Status: Closet is getting a little crowded Location: Not even a dot on the Australian map Age: 17 Posts: 1,096 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: New here Thanks __________________ Thor: No matter what he's done, Loki is from Asgard and is my brother Black Widow: He killed 80 people in two days. Thor: ...adopted. ~The Avengers, 2012

22nd Nov 2011, 05:56 PM	#4
zillymilly Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Ontario Posts: 14 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: New here Wow, well, first off, welcome (although, I'm a newbie too, hehe) Secondly, I think you should trust your judgement--and it's something we all have to do--get rid of friends who do not deserve our friendship.. I had to do it when I was younger for some of the same reasons, but it gets better and eventually you find people who accept you and the ones you love for who they are. Anyway, haha, didn't mean to turn into.. that little rant on your intro post, just wanted to say that I think you know what's best for you, and I think you're really brave for standing up for what you believe in.. it can be bloody hard to stand up against friends, I get that, I think we all get that, so good on you.. tc __________________ Amor Vincit Omnia Live In SunshineBe Like Water

22nd Nov 2011, 06:09 PM	#5
Noir EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: A select few Location: Missing Age: 18 Posts: 361 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: New here Welcome to EC! That sounds rough, but it's good he has someone like you to support him, if only in spirit for the time being. ^-^ I'll bet you both have something to be thankful for this week! __________________ The opposite of love isn't hate--it's indifference.

22nd Nov 2011, 06:39 PM	#6
Doctor Faustus EC's resident Philosopher at Large Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Not straight. But only interested in men. xD Out Status: People who ask me. People whom I trust. Location: Basingstoke Posts: 1,610 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: New here Hello, welcome! Sorry to hear about your bf's experiences. If there's anything I can do to help/support, please do write to me. Very best wishes, Doctor Faustus (Gah-Kai) __________________ "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." - Mother Teresa.

22nd Nov 2011, 06:54 PM	#7
Hana Solo EC's Dear Abby- talk to me! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Mostly into girls Out Status: Closet is getting a little crowded Location: Not even a dot on the Australian map Age: 17 Posts: 1,096 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: New here Thanks guys its nice to have support. It's something you just can't talk about ya know? __________________ Thor: No matter what he's done, Loki is from Asgard and is my brother Black Widow: He killed 80 people in two days. Thor: ...adopted. ~The Avengers, 2012

22nd Nov 2011, 07:38 PM	#8
Nazo Janis Ian's Lesbian Crush Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Facebook, not hiding at college Location: Michigan Age: 19 Posts: 2,071 Join Date: Dec 2010	Re: New here Heyo, welcome to EC! __________________ are you feeling like a prisoner are you living life the way you want giving time to ones you love are you giving time to who you are

22nd Nov 2011, 09:49 PM	#9
Artemicion :D :D :D Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Anyone who asks, but parents in denial. Location: Vancouver BC Canada Age: 23 Posts: 1,112 Join Date: Aug 2010	Re: New here Hi and welcome to EC.

22nd Nov 2011, 10:27 PM	#10
alex2020 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Everybody important, and anybody who asks. Location: Florida Age: 19 Posts: 1,437 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: New here Bienvenue!! __________________ “Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.”

22nd Nov 2011, 10:56 PM	#11
Aeon Magus EC's Blue Gaylien Full Member Gender: I go peepee standing up xD Orientation: I'm a Man's Man Out Status: The people that I care about most. Location: South Africa Posts: 2,262 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: New here Hello, Hana, and welcome to EC. __________________ Sing me a Painting, I'll paint you a Song Inside my heart is breaking. My make-up may be flaking, but my smile still stays on. The show must go on.

22nd Nov 2011, 11:26 PM	#12
Gerry We're all a little mad! EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Las Vegas Age: 24 Posts: 5,551 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: New here Hi and welcome to EC! Hope you find what you're looking for here. __________________ "Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality".-James Baldwin

26th Nov 2011, 06:03 AM	#13
silverhalo EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Quite a few Location: England, Age: 29 Posts: 3,166 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: New here Hey welcome to EC.