1st step - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

CandyClouds · 23rd Dec 2011, 08:54 AM

hey everyone,

thanks first for taking your time to read this, i appreciate it

i rather not say my real name, you never know who's reading this or who might read this later on. so you can call me mickey or give me a nickname yourself if you like

sooo this is my first step to finally figuring out what i'm actually into and maybe with your help i might do.

i'm 19 years old and i live in europe. i've been raised by a christian pentecostal (or pentecostal christian?), african single-mom (DEADLY COMBINATION = UBER CONSERVATIVE) together with two other siblings, an older brother and a younger sister. long story short, my childhood was rather unsettling, quite troublesome to be honest, but i didn't let it get me down. i believe in God myself and it helped me to become the person i am today.

i've never been a "bad" child: in my "rebellious" phase i was merely moodier and bitchier but i didn't do anything forbidden. in comparison to other western children i am still a "good" child, but for my mom i recently started becoming bad. the first time i was drunk i was 18 (and it's even legal!), i never did any drugs and i'm still a virgin.

the beginning of my real "rebellion" was when i was starting to get my earlobe stretched and i didn't even think of upsetting my mother. i thought i am a grown up after all, i can decide whether or not i wanna do some kind of alteration on my own. most people don't even notice i have a tunnel.

anyways, she mistakes what ever i do for rebellion, because she thinks i'm still pubescent (she should know better). this of course pisses me off, because it's a little late for that and i've already proven to her that i'm mature, atleast mature enough to not do anything too stupid. now i'm kinda experimenting and catching up on everything i missed while being a "good girl", part of it is my sexuality.

another long story, so if you guys wanna hear a little more, i'll tell. but i don't wanna bore you

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR

silverhalo · 23rd Dec 2011, 03:11 PM

You wont bore us dont worry, welcome to EC.

Nazo · 23rd Dec 2011, 04:16 PM

Heyo, welcome to EC!

CandyClouds · 23rd Dec 2011, 04:22 PM

thanks silverhalo, good to know

thanks Nazo

J Snow · 23rd Dec 2011, 05:47 PM

Welcome to the site =)

Living according to your own moral code is more important than living by that of your parent's. Its something I still struggle with myself.

Random Dent · 23rd Dec 2011, 06:55 PM

Welcome to EC, Candy.
Parents have a hard time accepting their children growing up and becoming independent. No matter how old you get they'll still tell you wear a coat when it's cold. :P

thecat06 · 23rd Dec 2011, 07:54 PM

Hello and Welcome!!

alex2020 · 23rd Dec 2011, 10:08 PM

Bienvenue!!

Artemicion · 24th Dec 2011, 01:40 AM

Hello and welcome to EC.

Hana Solo · 24th Dec 2011, 03:09 AM

Hi and welcome, fellow goody-goody-two-shoes! Write on my wall if you want to talk!

Charni · 24th Dec 2011, 03:12 AM

We all have our own stories. If you want to hear mine write on my wall and I'll tell you.

Bedroom Hymns · 24th Dec 2011, 03:15 AM

Welcome to Empty Closets, if you ever need advice or just to talk you can talk to me if you want

.

I'm sorry about your mom misunderstanding you, but that's natural, don't be too harsh on her. Now if she's way too much I guess you'll have to ignore her.

CandyClouds · 24th Dec 2011, 07:01 AM

thanks a lot everybody, i'm happy i found this forum

looking forward to getting to know you all <3

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bedroom Hymns

I'm sorry about your mom misunderstanding you, but that's natural, don't be too harsh on her. Now if she's way too much I guess you'll have to ignore her.

yeahh a month ago we had a really big fight and since then we're not talking anymore, because she said some really hurtful things. i decided to do my own thing, i'm even getting a tattoo in 2 weeks

but she'll probably think i'm doing it to upset her

Hana Solo · 24th Dec 2011, 07:11 AM

I'd love to get a tat. Of course, it all depends on my financial situation

Just make sure its one you like. It's a rather permanent rebellion.

CandyClouds · 24th Dec 2011, 07:17 AM

i've been thinking of getting a tat for a loooong time. once i almost went through with it, but you know, i considered the reasons my mom gave me for not doing it. now after thinking of it for a while i want to get all tatted up

one tat a year

Chickzak · 24th Dec 2011, 12:13 PM

Heyaa Mickey... I like the name ;D And a warm welcome to EC, you'll fit right in I bet, with people that understand you chick

As for you mum.. damn.. can definitely relate to that, but I suppose they feel safe just keeping you so cloose but dont worry too much.

CandyClouds · 24th Dec 2011, 05:43 PM

hey there chickzak, thanks and merry christmas btw

never looked at it that way, you know. any chance that you wanna tell me your story? i'm definitely interested ;D pm me if you like

Aeon Magus · 24th Dec 2011, 08:51 PM

Hello, Candy, and welcome to EC.

23rd Dec 2011, 08:54 AM	#1
CandyClouds Ein bisschen Bi schadet nie Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Kinsey scale 2/3 Out Status: Not out at all Location: Germany Age: 19 Posts: 22 Join Date: Dec 2011	1st step hey everyone, thanks first for taking your time to read this, i appreciate it i rather not say my real name, you never know who's reading this or who might read this later on. so you can call me mickey or give me a nickname yourself if you like sooo this is my first step to finally figuring out what i'm actually into and maybe with your help i might do. i'm 19 years old and i live in europe. i've been raised by a christian pentecostal (or pentecostal christian?), african single-mom (DEADLY COMBINATION = UBER CONSERVATIVE) together with two other siblings, an older brother and a younger sister. long story short, my childhood was rather unsettling, quite troublesome to be honest, but i didn't let it get me down. i believe in God myself and it helped me to become the person i am today. i've never been a "bad" child: in my "rebellious" phase i was merely moodier and bitchier but i didn't do anything forbidden. in comparison to other western children i am still a "good" child, but for my mom i recently started becoming bad. the first time i was drunk i was 18 (and it's even legal!), i never did any drugs and i'm still a virgin. the beginning of my real "rebellion" was when i was starting to get my earlobe stretched and i didn't even think of upsetting my mother. i thought i am a grown up after all, i can decide whether or not i wanna do some kind of alteration on my own. most people don't even notice i have a tunnel. anyways, she mistakes what ever i do for rebellion, because she thinks i'm still pubescent (she should know better). this of course pisses me off, because it's a little late for that and i've already proven to her that i'm mature, atleast mature enough to not do anything too stupid. now i'm kinda experimenting and catching up on everything i missed while being a "good girl", part of it is my sexuality. another long story, so if you guys wanna hear a little more, i'll tell. but i don't wanna bore you MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR

23rd Dec 2011, 03:11 PM	#2
silverhalo EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Quite a few Location: England, Age: 29 Posts: 3,166 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: 1st step You wont bore us dont worry, welcome to EC.

23rd Dec 2011, 04:16 PM	#3
Nazo Janis Ian's Lesbian Crush Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Facebook, not hiding at college Location: Michigan Age: 19 Posts: 2,071 Join Date: Dec 2010	Re: 1st step Heyo, welcome to EC! __________________ are you feeling like a prisoner are you living life the way you want giving time to ones you love are you giving time to who you are

23rd Dec 2011, 04:22 PM	#4
CandyClouds Ein bisschen Bi schadet nie Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Kinsey scale 2/3 Out Status: Not out at all Location: Germany Age: 19 Posts: 22 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: 1st step thanks silverhalo, good to know thanks Nazo

23rd Dec 2011, 05:47 PM	#5
J Snow EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Sex - Male, Gender -Female/bigender/not quite sure Orientation: Primarily interested in men. Out Status: fairly out about sexuality, gender not so much Location: Des Moines, Iowa Age: 22 Posts: 1,392 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: 1st step Welcome to the site =) Living according to your own moral code is more important than living by that of your parent's. Its something I still struggle with myself. __________________ "You don't need to hide my friend, for I am just like you."

23rd Dec 2011, 06:55 PM	#6
Random Dent Liebe ist für alle da! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: La la la ladies Out Status: I don't care who knows Location: California Age: 27 Posts: 1,692 Join Date: Feb 2011	Re: 1st step Welcome to EC, Candy. Parents have a hard time accepting their children growing up and becoming independent. No matter how old you get they'll still tell you wear a coat when it's cold. :P __________________ No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don't love anybody Rita Mae Brown

23rd Dec 2011, 07:54 PM	#7
thecat06 EC's Biggest LNJF and SNL fan!! Full Member Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! Out Status: Out to parents, campus, and 75 friends on facebook Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 19 Posts: 2,504 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: 1st step Hello and Welcome!! __________________ So many years have passed, since I proclaimed my independence, my mission, my aim, and my vision, so secure, content to live each day like it's my last, it's wonderful to know, that I could be, something more than what I dreamed, far beyond what I could see -Dream Theater

23rd Dec 2011, 10:08 PM	#8
alex2020 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Everybody important, and anybody who asks. Location: Florida Age: 19 Posts: 1,437 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: 1st step Bienvenue!! __________________ “Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.”

24th Dec 2011, 01:40 AM	#9
Artemicion :D :D :D Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Anyone who asks, but parents in denial. Location: Vancouver BC Canada Age: 23 Posts: 1,112 Join Date: Aug 2010	Re: 1st step Hello and welcome to EC.

24th Dec 2011, 03:09 AM	#10
Hana Solo EC's Dear Abby- talk to me! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Mostly into girls Out Status: Closet is getting a little crowded Location: Not even a dot on the Australian map Age: 17 Posts: 1,096 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: 1st step Hi and welcome, fellow goody-goody-two-shoes! Write on my wall if you want to talk! __________________ Thor: No matter what he's done, Loki is from Asgard and is my brother Black Widow: He killed 80 people in two days. Thor: ...adopted. ~The Avengers, 2012

24th Dec 2011, 03:12 AM	#11
Charni Banned Full Member Gender: Physically male, mentally everything but male. Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: My girlfriend and 8 others Location: Australia! Age: 16 Posts: 775 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: 1st step We all have our own stories. If you want to hear mine write on my wall and I'll tell you.

24th Dec 2011, 03:15 AM	#12
Bedroom Hymns The Morning Fog Regular Member Gender: Happy with my willy, but I don't care for gender. Orientation: I like phallic objects and muscles. Out Status: Some friends, some relatives (both my parents). Location: Under the ice Age: 16 Posts: 297 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: 1st step Welcome to Empty Closets, if you ever need advice or just to talk you can talk to me if you want . I'm sorry about your mom misunderstanding you, but that's natural, don't be too harsh on her. Now if she's way too much I guess you'll have to ignore her. __________________ Between two lungs it was released, The breath that passed from you to me, That flew between us as we slept, That slipped from your mouth, into mine it crept.

24th Dec 2011, 07:11 AM	#14
Hana Solo EC's Dear Abby- talk to me! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Mostly into girls Out Status: Closet is getting a little crowded Location: Not even a dot on the Australian map Age: 17 Posts: 1,096 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: 1st step I'd love to get a tat. Of course, it all depends on my financial situation Just make sure its one you like. It's a rather permanent rebellion. __________________ Thor: No matter what he's done, Loki is from Asgard and is my brother Black Widow: He killed 80 people in two days. Thor: ...adopted. ~The Avengers, 2012

24th Dec 2011, 07:17 AM	#15
CandyClouds Ein bisschen Bi schadet nie Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Kinsey scale 2/3 Out Status: Not out at all Location: Germany Age: 19 Posts: 22 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: 1st step i've been thinking of getting a tat for a loooong time. once i almost went through with it, but you know, i considered the reasons my mom gave me for not doing it. now after thinking of it for a while i want to get all tatted up one tat a year

24th Dec 2011, 12:13 PM	#16
Chickzak Well Known Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: like girls; usually attracted to personality xD Out Status: 3 people & mum; still real confused Location: UK, SE England Age: 18 Posts: 245 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: 1st step Heyaa Mickey... I like the name ;D And a warm welcome to EC, you'll fit right in I bet, with people that understand you chick As for you mum.. damn.. can definitely relate to that, but I suppose they feel safe just keeping you so cloose but dont worry too much.

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24th Dec 2011, 05:43 PM	#17
CandyClouds Ein bisschen Bi schadet nie Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Kinsey scale 2/3 Out Status: Not out at all Location: Germany Age: 19 Posts: 22 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: 1st step hey there chickzak, thanks and merry christmas btw never looked at it that way, you know. any chance that you wanna tell me your story? i'm definitely interested ;D pm me if you like __________________

24th Dec 2011, 08:51 PM	#18
Aeon Magus EC's Blue Gaylien Full Member Gender: I go peepee standing up xD Orientation: I'm a Man's Man Out Status: The people that I care about most. Location: South Africa Posts: 2,262 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: 1st step Hello, Candy, and welcome to EC. __________________ Sing me a Painting, I'll paint you a Song Inside my heart is breaking. My make-up may be flaking, but my smile still stays on. The show must go on.