Now I think everyone's gay!

I totally know what you mean! My partner and I speculate about everyone...and the world keeps reinforcing us for doing so. When she and I met, we were each seeing someone else...I had another gf, and she had a bf, who she'd been with for 6 years. Just recently, we looked up both people. My partner's bf is currently living with his husband in MA (she had absolutely no doubts that he was straight); and my ex-gf eventually married a man...who turns out to be gay. We've speculated on her brother (ex-Navy, divorced, last living in Rehobeth tending bar at a lesbian club), her bigoted father (how can you be completely non-religious and non-military but virulently anti-gay, unless you're closeting something?), and possible experimentation by her sister. And of *course* every time you meet a really beautiful and together woman, you *have* to speculate...might she at least be bi? **Please?**

 

I found this to be a huge distraction when I came out too. I thought "If I was wandering around and was gay and I didn't even know, then how many other people are out there who are too? Is he? Is he?..."

 

I thought it was just me who did this.

 

I know this is an older post but had to comment. I agree my wife and I think everyone has a part that's atleast curious. I can't believe how many people I worked with that are hitting there 30s and questioning themselves. A Guy I worked with texted me out of the blue and opened up about his marriage and him being gay. We talked before about him having a 3some and messing around with a Guy in high school. But now saying he is gay really surprised me. There are a large number of people I have met that mess around with the same sex and consider themselves straight. I have 3 cousins who are all gay. I think the percentage of lgbt are much higher then the studies done.

 

I have a gay friend with whom we sometimes go out together (as friends only) and every now and then we come across people that trigger our "gaydar", so we look at each other and simply ask: "what are the odds?" Followed by an analysis of our observations (clothing, etc.)

We are generally in agreement, and he's accepted being gay much longer than I have...

 

Here's what I find interesting. It's how supposedly straight men pick out all the best looking guys to hang around with, join their clubs, and hand plum jobs to ... from about high school onward. So, the "queer eye" thing seems to be more widespread than we think. At least to the tune of 37% of the male population who, per Kinsey, has reached an orgasm with another male, that is, if more guys weren't lying! LOL.

I remember that a few select cool VGL guys somehow had GPA thresholds "magically" waived for them to access both the interviews, and employment, at the end of college when they should have been excluded had the rules been followed. Whoever said life is fair?

 

I was working with a guy who came out of the closet somewhat late. A few months afterwards, he made the proclamation that at least 70% of men were actually gay and too closeted to admit it. He also stated that anybody who was friends with a gay man was gay, because "like attracts like". He then spent his time trying to get all these straight friends of his to come out of the closet. When they (rightly) got annoyed with him and cut contact, he'd cry himself to sleep because "they're living a lie" and "they hate me because I discovered their secret". He also considered me a "traitor to homosexuality" for believing that my straight friends were, in fact, straight.

He was kind of annoying.

Lex

 

I do this all the time. Guys in my school are just too good-looking to be uniformly straight. The cute boy in my ethics class is just FAR too cute to be straight. I'm not crazy, I just have my gaydar turned up too high. I'm new, I can't help it!

 

I'm starting to get this :lol:

I'm wondering if maybe now that I've really been keeping my eyes out for a while, my gaydar is just improving? I'm sure I'm probably getting some false positives now though, just because I'm out and everything feels like an opportunity where before it wasn't.

 

Ok, so I posted my sexual dream. Now I can post the situation at the gym that preceded that.

I'm very cool with guys my own age, but good looking guys are good looking guys, so one just notices them. I was at the gym last night. Because we were talking about tennis stars, there was a thin 5'7 or 5'8 local guy who facially looked like Federer but with dark sandy hair he wore slicked back. He was slightly hairy and went from machine to machine, chewing his gum in a bad boy sort of way. He had a wedding band, but looked too young to be married. At any rate, I went to take a shower and took about 3 minutes. This guy was in there for the longest time. There weren't many in the locker room and the shower could be heard for quite a while, including when I was dressed and walking out. So, married, at the gym late, and a long, long shower to go with it ... hmmm.

 

Wow. Glad this is not just me

 

this thread is funny, so how do i distinguish from "someone looks attractive to me and i wish they're gay"?

I am soo confused

 

@ 2 a.m. reading this post....YOW... funny thread indeed...
I am convinced of very few things in this world.... one of those few, is the realization that mathematics cannot be used when it comes to people. ( who is or isn't gay according to some associative formula, thought etc. ) who people like & are 'with' socially/ in business/ school/ sports/ wherever has little to do with their other appreciations/ appetites...or gender conformity. Each of us is a product of a male & female... each of us has both streams of energy inside. This IS inescapable. Humanity carries the seeds of both. We all have those wide ranging feelings, emotions & desires within our individual beings. The complex addition of masking, preferences, chemistry, peer pressure, self-imaging, family, society ( and yes, our own unique personality ) gives us the basic shape of who we are, i.e., gay/ straight, bi, etc. And that is my concept, mixed with fact, insight and years of being me. I simply cannot envision a world of absolute sexual extremism ( either totally gay or totally straight ) I'd argue that is nonsense. We are all out there...somewhere on the chart of all-inclusive feelings, emotions, straightness, gayness. Simply put, horni-ness will find an outlet. May not be the conceptual alignment you would prefer...but it will express itself according to the situation/ or lack thereof.

 

Yes, this!^ Haha

 

I think humans naturally look for social validation.

No one wants to be alone, right?

I do think it's dangerous and flawed to automatically assume that everyone wants to be like you, and pressuring people with doubts into the same thing you realised might make you feel good, but it could also be massively detrimental to that individual.

I notice that many of the moderators on this board never ever conclude a confused person's questions for them. They always ask what the person wants. They encourage them only to express themselves and be truthful to themselves.

I think that's incredible and inspirational.

Remember, by blindly encouraging others to be like you, you inadvertently create a social atmosphere which will lead to the oppression of minorities.

Please do not be offended by what I say. My only goal is to get others to respect each other on an individual basis.

Lexington's post contains a huge amount of wisdom within it. Incredible.