Greetings folks, On July 16th, I received a message on a dating website as follows: "Hello How are you doing? I am David from Maryland in the USA. new on this site, I saw you here and i wish to know you dear. i am single man here. looking for someone who i can get to know and spend more time getting to know each other more Hope to hear from you, David" Well, this started something interesting. He posted pictures of a white, 48 year old business man type and he later explained that he was a Dutch guy who had lived in the states for the last 20 years. You'll notice he started calling me "dear" in his first message, a red flag, but I decided to play along anyway. He sent me by e-mail more pictures of this guy, and he got into some detail about his life and how he travels a lot. I actually spoke to him on the phone, and immediately noticed an Asian accent, but, since I "entertained" the thought that this might be legitimate I thought maybe he just spoke a weird Dutch accent. Several days passed, during which he started texting me regularly (I know I should not have given him my number, but it seemed harmless). In almost all cases the messages were stilted and uninteresting, like he was texting several people at once. He told me he had a house in "Asian" and was looking to buy one here in Canada (suggesting he had money, of course). I spoke to him again and this time I thought his Dutch accent was actually there (I am familiar with the accent because I had a Dutch GF a long time ago). Here is where my financial insecurities got the better of me... I started to believe his story a little more. He asked me to send pictures of myself with my kids. I didn't, my parental instincts took over, no pictures of my kids to strangers. Texting continued, with good mornings and the like, yesterday he told me his mother was ill, I expressed concern and pressed him on details. As always, there were delays in his responses. He kept alluding to this transaction he was planning for August. This morning is where the hammer hit, he made his move after all the preliminary niceties. He started telling me how an adviser to one of Gadhafi's dead sons had to move to Malaysia with $14.8 million (notice the nice, specific number) but that this guy had to leave Malaysia in a hurry and he was willing to pay "David" and I 40% of the money if we agreed to sign papers with a lawyer from Malaysia. We would then meet this Gadhafi henchman (somewhere) and give him the remainder of the money. There was the scam I had been expecting. I was angry but decided to play along, I sent him a few words in Dutch, he responded in kind but not much. I asked him where he was from in Holland: "somewhere in the south, in The Hague", I told him I had been to a beach near there but couldn't remember the name (I did), he took his time to answer (he was probably Google-mapping furiously) and he got it all wrong. The hammer came down when I told him that anyone from The Hague would know immediately what beach I was talking about, I told him to go fuck himself, that I was on to him and not to text me anymore. He hasn't since. This was a master at work, never any pressure, building confidence (the origin of the word con-man is "confidence man") taking his time, eliciting concern and interjecting with a few romantic hints. Notice how, with stronger belief, I managed to discern a Dutch accent (his phone line was also quite garbled, probably deliberately) where there was, in fact, none. I feel embarrassed that it even got this far (and these bastards know that, which is why few victims talk about it), but I wanted to share this with you because it is very easy, when you're vulnerable (divorce, newly gay, etc.), to fall for such things. I "knew" this was too good to be true, but knowing is simply not enough (aren't we formerly closeted guys familiar with that one!). These guys have no shame and fewer scruples. I will also point out that I followed my cardinal rule about protecting my kids, in such instances, having boundaries, clear policies thought out in advance about what you should be doing is extremely important. This applies to things like this as it does to always wearing condoms and never posting pictures of yourself in inappropriate places. I did an image search of the guy in the photos, and actually found out who he really was (Google is getting scary efficient with this kind of thing). I sent the guy a message telling him someone is using his picture inappropriately (no response yet)...I also flagged him on the dating website, not sure what good that did. I have learned something out of this, mostly about myself. New boundaries have been built. Never had much faith in humanity to begin with, no change there.
What a weird tale. I believe you, though. I don't think on-line dating is the best way to go. For some people it works like a charm, but for most it doesn't. And in the meantime, those who own the sites are probably making good money from that business. The good thing about it, I suppose, is that it could link up two people who have very specific criteria for what they want in a significant other. Proceed with caution, GW. But you already know that.
Hi, Just got an email from a dating site... Guy totally misrepresenting himself. Profiles as straight comes off to me as a 50 year old first time bi-curious. Scum and pigs primarily on dating sites.
Well the website hasn't worked for me so far...fortunately there are other outlets. The "Chambre du commerce gai du Québec" (the Quebec gay chamber of commerce, yes there is such a thing, the LGBT community represents millions of dollars to the economy) is having a pride soirée on August 15th here in Montreal, should be an interesting way to meet people...(my attitude is "fail fast", something doesn't work, try something else and don't dwell on past mistakes).
I'm so glad to hear that this ended the way it did. As I started reading, I was really afraid it was going to end with you telling us how much money you had lost.
Hi Greatwhale Last night on UK TV there was a documentary program discussing dating sites and the way some of them lead folks on with fake profiles etc., they also mentioned conmen using the sites to scam people. I don’t know if the link below to the BBC iPlayer will work outside the UK but if it does it’s worth watching. BBC iPlayer - Panorama: Tainted Love: Secrets of the Dating Game During the program they showed the image search feature of Google. The presenter took a photo from the dating site profile and ran a search on Google to see if the image came up elsewhere. Surprise surprise, many of the images tested were actually taken from other peoples web sites and Facebook pages etc. who had no idea their photo was being used on a dating web site. To use this search, go to the Google home page and click Images in the Black banner at the top of the page. Then click the camera icon in the search box and upload the image you want to test and you can find out if it has been used elsewhere or belongs to someone else. You can also test your own photos to see where they appear on the Internet. The program also showed profiles for sale. Many people have had their profile sold to other dating sites without their knowledge or permission. Perhaps folks should periodically search the internet for strings of text they use in their own profile to see if it comes up elsewhere. SaleGayGuy
What a coincidence, only last week ghadaffi's wife was trying to give me 19 m !!! They didn't fool you, greatwhale.. Because you are sharp as a knife.. But it worries me that many people less sharp than you must fall for this sort of thing.
They wouldn't keep doing it if it wasn't successful, and at a predictable rate! I did what I could to alert people, as I am doing here, not much more I can do. I wasn't as sharp as I should have been, not with the money; with the divorce, I don't have any real money, but on an emotional level, that's where I was most vulnerable.
The Classical one is "Im the prince of Uganda and need money to get this huge amount of cash outside of the country and I will give you hald of the money :roflmao:
Yes, always use Google images. You can click and hold onto any picture on any website and simply drag it into the search engine. I'll admit, it actually is a bit fun picking random people on those sites and googling their picture. Especially the ones that think no one is going to notice how HD and model-esque their pictures are.
