My story :)

Hey everyone! I've been reading these forums since late last year but I never post. I'm a creeper haha. I've been through a long journey and today marks a new begining! I've had so much help from all of you here at EC so I figured I'd tell my story so I could give back and hopefully help someone else.

October 2012: My ex girlfriend confronted me about my sexuality. We dated for 4 years. I'm 27 years old. I did everything I could to avoid sex and always made excuses. She was extremely sexually frustrated and ended up talking to my mom about it. After they brainstormed they wondered if maybe I was gay. So that's when she confronted me. I of course denied the fuck out of it. I've convinced myself my whole life I wasn't gay, I wasn't going to cave now! She kind of dropped it after that.

November 2012: I could not stop thinking about that question! "Am I gay?" For some reason I guess I decided it was time to face it and quit running. So I say her down and had the hardest conversation of my life. I told her of the possibility and how it'd always been in the back of my mind but I chose to ignore it. There were a lot of tears and it was time for me to really think about this and face it for the first time ever.

So I spent the next couple months battling everything back and forth in my head. I come to the conclusion I was bisexual. Shortly after I realized that was just a stepping stone. I am gay.

January 2013: I pretty much knew at this point that I was gay, but I was still struggling a lot and telling myself otherwise on some days. So I told her the truth and we had a long discussion and then we broke up. We actually still live together now and she's helped me out so much. She has been an amazing woman through all of this. I can't imagine what she's going through. Yet she was still there for me. I told my mom as well as my gay Uncle the same day we broke up.

March 2013: I had been struggling big time and been very depressed about all of it. The denial was so strong, it was very tough to get through it. Everyday though it got easier and easier. I had less and less days where I would try to convince myself otherwise. I told my best friend. He was very scared for me because people can be mean. He was happy that I was being true to myself though. He was more than supportive and as always an amazing friend!

June 2013: I finally come to terms with it and fully accepted who I am. I was in a really good place. I was ready to tell my friends and family. I was almost 100% sure there would be zero bad reactions. However I found myself not being able to tell them! It was harder than I originally thought.

July 2013(1 week ago to be more precise): I reconnected with my first love and she has just been amazing. She has truly made me feel comfortable with who I am and been extremely supportive. I've been on the brink of coming out and she was that little nudge that I needed! The only person I was slightly worried about was my dad. So I wrote him a long e-mail with answers to questions I thought he may ask as well as explaining some things to make everything make more sense to him.

After he read it and I knew he was ok with it, I told everyone else today that I wanted to tell. Anyone I haven't told at this point I will if they ask. I feel I've told all of the people close to me though. I couldn't be more happy than I am right now!

Sorry if this was kind of long. I hope this helps someone and I also want to again thank everyone here for all of your help!

 

Thanks Greatwhale!

Believe it or not you've been one of my biggest helps through this time! Also congratulations on 2k post count!

 

Thanks Dublin Boy! It really is an amazing feeling. Coming out to others felt just as good! I no longer feel like I'm hiding and now I can stand tall and walk the world how I feel with my head high!

 

Thanks so much for the responses! If anyone has any questions about more specifics or anything I don't mind answering at all!