My son lied to protect me

I don't honestly see why every minute has to be programmed. There is something to be said for spontaneity (wow! I actually spelled this word right on try #1! But I digress.).

What matters more is that your kids enjoy their visits.

Unfortunately, my sense from what I've read about your ex-wife-to-be is that nothing you do will possibly be good enough. Well, she might be happy if you accidentally got sucked into a parallel universe--just as long as you leave plenty of money for her on this side of the universe to universe portal...

 

If you had a lot of activities planned on the weekends, I am pretty sure she would probably accuse you of just of being the fun parent. Then I hear the non-custodial parent accused of not knowing what it is like to deal with everyday issues because every visit is a "holiday". I guess what I am trying to say its not you its her but I know it hurts just the same. Sounds like you are a good parent by reinforcing honesty and even though sounds like your son has a stronger alliance with you, that you are encouraging him to have healthy boundaries so that he doesn't feel he needs to protect you. Good job dad!

 

Well, I am sure you can turn video games to a good teaching lesson, lol.

There are kids who play video games for fun, and then there are kids who put their characters into video games, such as those people who try to catch all legendary Pokemon without using master ball

or a math lesson on maximizing damage

and like BMC said, some wind down time is good too.

 

I'm sorry to hear that your son felt he had to make up a story about your weekend, even though it sounds like you spent authentic, quality time together.

I'm not a parent, but I think the finest compliment in the world would be a child whose fondest memories are, "My Dad spent time with me," as opposed to, "My Dad took me here, and bought me this, and scheduled this..." The quality of the time together is much more important than how much was programmed (he states wisely). I echo the "Good job, Dad!"

 

Mr. Whale, your story breaks my heart. Nobody should be made to feel that way. I am sorry your wife is so bitter that she cannot look objectively at your situation and parenting. We all have our ways of doing things, and IF you aren't spending enough "quality time" with your kids, that is between you and them...hopefully, they'd be kind enough to let you know if they felt that way.

 

I have more fun with my parents when they haven't scheduled things, because they are less worked up about trying to make the schedule be "fun". I think you are doing things right.

 

I am so sorry. I am on the verge of tears reading your post. Let me assure you the most memorable times with my father were the unplanned and unstructured times. I am fortunate that my parents were together until his death. However, I did have structured and unstructured times. Some of the unstructured was standing by Dad as he shaved as a boy. Going for a ride in the car. Walking to the drug store for a coke. Sitting together and saying nothing, just being there was enough.

If I were there, I would give you a hug. In addition, if your children were there too, and they were receptive, I would hug them too. Time does not need to be schedule to the nanosecond. Live life, enjoy each other. You are lucky, you have children. I am alone.

Craig

 

I can understand why he lied, being that my parents are divoriced too. I know what its like to want to help your parents when you really can't so you end up doing something wrong. I think your son loves you and he lied because he wanted to show his mom your love for him. I feel for you and your family.
God bless.

 

I am so sorry to hear your exwife is being the way she is. Your little boy probably feels like if he doesn't say you kept him busy with taking him places and stuff, that his mom might not let him come see you next time. I don't know, just wondering if that's what he is thinking might happen.

She shouldn't even expect that you do something every second you have your kids. All those children need and probably really want is just knowing that you are there with them, and spending time with them, whether it be in your house, or some activity.

You sound like a great dad!!!

 

I just want to hug you, because you sound like such a good father. (*hug*) Seriously, I'm so sorry to hear that your ex-wife is being this way. She obviously thinks that in order to have meaningful moments with your kids, they have to be 'programmed' or whatever. But let her think that. Her loss. You're there for your kids, and that's all that really matters. Your son sounds like he really loves you and just wants to know that you will be there for him. So what, you might not have the money to take him on all these 'programmed' things she's ranting about, but you are spending time with him, and thats more than I can say about my father. Compared to him, you're father of the century! Haha, so yeah, don't be discouraged or anything like that, your kids love you because you love and care for them! You're an awesome dad! :eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap

 

I hate to ask this... But given how your wife is acting (between what I read here, and other threads, including that comment about her driving without insurance) this question comes to mind: is she competent to have the custody of the children?

 

It sounds oh so familiar to me, jealous of your relationship with your Children, trying to poison your Children against you by putting you down in front of them & bad mouthing you & draining your resources as a way of hitting you in your pocket, the one problem with this, is that Kids are not stupid & they will only end up resenting her for putting you down, in their eyes, she is just hurting someone they love!

My heart goes out to you my Friend, it is bad parenting when one parent uses the Children as weapons against the other Parent, it is her who is Divorcing you, not the Children (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

 

My fondest memories with my kids have nothing to with programmed activities. Just being together and loving and learning.

Man a nap in front of the TV with my son sleeping contentedly beside me is heaven.

Enjoy buddy... Its the relationship not the activities.