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figuring out my sexuality and trying to find support, that's not family

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by fallen, Aug 14, 2013.

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  1. fallen

    fallen
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    i think- i know what i am, but i'm not 100% is there anyone i could chat with to relate to, or someone, something i could do to be more confident in my thoughts. please? anyone? i just want clearity.:confused::tears::icon_sad:
     
    #1 fallen, Aug 14, 2013
  2. greatwhale

    greatwhale
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    Hi,

    Clarity doesn't come cheap...what have you done so far to come to the conclusion that you think you know who you are?

    Do you wish to share your age and maybe some more details? It would help us tremendously and you will still be safe here.
     
    #2 greatwhale, Aug 14, 2013
  3. Californiacoast

    Californiacoast
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    Hey Fallen, I agree, a few more details would help. It might be difficult to actually type the words gay or bi or whatever, but I assure you this is a safe place to do it! What feelings are you going through?
     
    #3 Californiacoast, Aug 15, 2013
  4. fallen

    fallen
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    omg! first off i'd like to say, i'm so excited to see that i have a reply, second, what could i include? i "think" i'm gay. i "know" i'm not straight, but i dont know, second, i've been trying to find resources: books, articles, blogs, anything to relate to, to better understand more about myself. but i dont know what i could say.

    ---------- Post added 15th Aug 2013 at 04:46 PM ----------

    sure, i'll share what i can, but what could i give for you to better understand?

    ---------- Post added 15th Aug 2013 at 04:47 PM ----------

    i'm 21
     
    #4 fallen, Aug 15, 2013
  5. Pat

    Pat
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    You'd pretty much have to get details of events that lead you to come to this conclusion so far, your age helps... I see you're 21. Maybe a little about where you feel your attractions are based. What you find attractive in people, things like that.
     
    #5 Pat, Aug 15, 2013
  6. Californiacoast

    Californiacoast
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    Ok, good job! That helps, now we are going somewhere.

    Thoughts:

    1. When I first came out and "thought" I was gay, I decided to actually spend time with gay guys! Like grabbing coffee, camping, working out etc. It's called dating and something I had only done with girls till that point.

    2. Check out a local LGBT resource center. Could be in a larger city or on a college campus. They will have books, films resources free! Also they might have support groups where you could meet other guys just coming out or questioning.

    3. Jump in the discussions here. Lots of good support.

    4. Be gentle with yourself. You don't have to figure it all out overnight!
     
    #6 Californiacoast, Aug 16, 2013
  7. fallen

    fallen
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    going to the gym- when i'm alone in the locker room- and i'm changing, when i stand around for a min or two, i get an errection just from standing around. when i see a guy, or when i talk to guys, i thhink about (blowing) haha, i'm not trying to think about attacking them, but i ju8st think about "having fun"

    for your third sentence, how could i get involved moreso with the site? i dont know how to become certified? (or what ever?) i want to be able to chat with others, but i dont know how? what can i do?

    and... for your 4th bullet, i know there's no rush, i just want to understand more about what i feel, what am i? and are my thoughts linked to my sexuality? EX: i like girs, guys are okay, but i really like girls- then you're straight. oh? okay.

    like that example. :slight_smile:
     
    #7 fallen, Aug 19, 2013
  8. BookDragon

    BookDragon
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    I apologise in advance for how lame the next sentence is going to sound, but it's true so just go with it for now!

    WHAT AM I? You are you! The label doesn't help much, and your first choice might be wrong! :grin:

    So lets see. You like girls, but you get erections and think about blowing dudes! You could be bisexual. You could be straight and just a bit kinky...you could be completely gay and just appreciate the female form? As CC said, you don't have to figure it out over night. If you try, chances are high you won't be happy with what you came up with!

    On to your other points. If you want to chat to anyone, the forum is full of people, I've been here a week an a half now and I don't think I've ever seen so many different conversations start and be so active! Plenty of people to talk to!

    Understanding can be hard work, especially when you don;t have anything concrete to go on, like a crush or actual sexual encounters :slight_smile:
     
    #8 BookDragon, Aug 19, 2013
  9. PeteNJ

    PeteNJ
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    First, you got us! (FWIW - ha!)

    Not sure where home is for you -- here in the US there are resources for pride/lgbt centers, as well as at many colleges/universities. I would also suggest finding a gay counselor to talk through where you're at!

    Its a wonderful, exciting journey, don't do it alone!

    /p
     
    #9 PeteNJ, Aug 19, 2013
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