River of tears have flowed today. In addition, in the 1980s I had a same sex attraction to a male friend of mine. He felt the same too. However, nothing happened. Today is his birthday! What a way to celebrate a friend's birthday as coming out to two of your friends. I feel like I have been run over by a train. I am emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained today. I do have an appointment to talk to one of the former youth pastors who is now an interim pastor for a LGBT-Q church. I told him that he probably was aware of the reason I visited his church. But I needed to state it was due to me having same sex attraction. Now that I am confronting my sexuality head on, a flood of emotions is also hitting me squarely between the eyes. To say that I am stressed and emotional basket case would be an understatement. If someone asked how I feel. I would say indigo. Indigo? Yes. Look at the color wheel this is the dark blue violet color. Dark as in depression. This is my feelings today.
(*hug*) Don't worry, the first step is always the hardest. If you keep positive, you'll look back on all of this one day and feel funny for ever repressing yourself in the first place.
It can be hard coming out to new people, even if you think they already know. I felt emotional and depressed when I came out to someone recently. It took me a couple weeks before I could come to terms with that decision. I was filled with thoughts like, "What am I doing? Will she hate me? My life is changing..." It's definitely a difficult road when you start to accept your sexuality.
