Being confused at 38 and thinking I should come out, I had gotten texts from my ex girlfriend over the night and it is putting everything together to coming out. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside and blood rushing in good feeling way through my body. I just am nervous about my parent and brothers, then I should be ok and I will choose slowly who I will inform through family and friends. Don't know what to do?
Hi Aqueon123, and welcome to EC! I have found that the best way to start coming out is to acquaintances rather than family. It's just easier to start with people you believe will be supportive but who don't have an emotional relationship with you. It's good practice to just say the words "I am gay" to an actual human being. When you feel more confident, narrow the circle to close friends, and finally: family. It feels awesome to finally live as you are!
I concur :icon_bigg As Greatwhale stated it is easier to start with acquaintances, in a way it enables you to become more comfortable with yourself and saying who you are.
I agree. I came out to one of my many sister on Saturday, plus one guy from work. About ten minutes ago I also told my other sister who I know is a little homophobic, but now she's supportive and understands that it's not a choice. I'm going to tell another sis tonight - it still feels as scary as hell, but I know it's the right thing to do and you'll feel much better/happier afterwards. I wish you the best of luck Aqueon123
I'd be curious to know whether all your many sisters haven't already spread the news! May it go well for you!
There are only five sisters, and to be honest I think they'd keep it to themselves unless I tell them that I've already told so and so... Lex is absolutely right. I was so nervous about anyone finding out, but it feels so good that everyone now knows the real me, and I don't have to hide anything anymore. I just don't want the brothers, or the husbands of my sisters finding out. All that's needed is courage, and it's so worth it
Family must be tough (I don't have much family left--and none that would have a problem with me). With anyone else, you can say--if they're not supportive, or worse, that it's good to know, good ridance! But for better or worse, family will always be there, poping out of your dreams to haunt you. I know from what I've done in the past (telling my father, a WWII Navy vet, that I was a draft resister during the Vietnam war), that I could damn well tell them I was gay... actually, while it would have puzzled them, probably easier than the anti-military thing. But I think, to be honest, it would have been way scarier. You are all so brave--who face up to this. My heart goes out to you in brotherly love and respect!
Good for you!!! I took care of my family first, I didn't want them to find out from others. It gets easier with each person you tell. Which ever order you choose to do it, will be the right order for you. Don't work yourself up, it turns out it can be a lot easier than you expected.
Still pretty new. Aug. 2. Twenty-six days. Gonna take a while to assimilate on the level of conscioiusness--intellectually. I have explanations. I've worked over and rewritten my life narrative to trace the path to the present end-game, but it totally wonders me. How did this happen? Is it real? Am I fooling myself? What reassures me, aren't the explanations, the overwriting of my life story... but the one place where I know I can't be lying to myself: that I'm so fucking happy. Not bursting out with that hi-jacked voice, shouting I HATE YOU! ... to myself. Not once... and used to be like 10 times a day. You can't lie about what you feel, what you so deeply feel. If there's confusion, it's almost always going to be between those feelings and the stuff you tell yourself, what you believe you believe. You have to trust those feelings. More than all the shit you carry around in your head--that's what we're made of. I lie down to take a nap... half way to sleep, what do I see... the bodies of men... and I feel such pleasure. Such pleasure... Yes he said yes I will yes
It's a bit of a cliché but, when the time is right, you'll know. You may be surprised by how well people take it. It's a new world out there and attitudes are changing fast. Gay people are some of the bravest people I know. Be strong and be proud.
