I went to New Orleans for Southern Decadence this weekend. My best gay friend had other plans, but I still wanted to check it out; so I decided to go alone. While I was ordering a drink, a guy on the other side of the bar smiled at me. He was cute, so I smiled back. We held eyes for about 5 seconds. When he received his drink, he flashed me a flirtatious grin, and then walked over to his group of friends several feet away. I decided to take a chance and try my luck. I walked over to the group. I figured that once he saw me, he'd either make room for me inside their circle, or separate off from them for a few moments. To my disappointment, he did neither. So, there I was, standing on the periphery of this group, looking a little lost. To mitigate the awkwardness, I got the cute guy's attention and said "Hey there, happy Decadence!" The problem was, ALL FIVE OF THEM turned around and glared at me all at once. Man, they sized me up coldly. The cute guy lifted his glass and said "Happy Decadence" back to me, but almost immediately continued the conversation he'd been having with his friends. I bashfully walked back to my corner. It's just so frustrating to think that you've been given the "green light" to go approach a guy, but then you have to deal with the probing eyes of all of his friends. It's like a force-field!
His friends don't factor in here, other than giving the guy an option other than you. You gave it a go, and he decided to stick with the comfort of the familiar. It happens. No big deal. Lex
Lex, I suppose you're right. I guess it's ultimately just my embarrassment speaking. I just gotta get back on the horse, right?
Well done for having a go. Maybe he was supposed to be 'with someone' when in the group .. but was flirting at the bar when away from the group?
Californiacoast, I haven't been to any other large-scale gay festivals, so I have no basis for comparison, but it was NUTS!! So much fun and so much to see! At age 54, I didn't think there was much left that could shock me. LOL. The costumes were outlandish and elaborate (I'm surprised there were no heat strokes out there!). I also danced my butt off at Club Oz on Bourbon Street! I even danced with a guy half my age I couldn't help it, hehe. But we did behave ourselves. You should really consider going next year! I know I'll be back! Are there any other festivals you'd recommend?
I've heard about people talk about. I think it would be too over-the-top for me. As for the cliques, some people go into locales with cliques as armor. I never have. I walk in expecting nothing and sometimes, out of nowhere, wind up ... well, you know. First of all, you shouldn't be talking to people who are in groups, unless a person in the group has a spine and addresses you. Ugh. I hate bars, but I've gone to them if I didn't have something else to do. There was a bar in San Francisco called "Alta Plaza," well, because it was near Alta Plaza. They all come and go, and I don't follow the scene. Someone told me about it because it was more button-down. I went in, looked around, and saw all this posing, attitude, and general lack of interaction, thinking what a lame ass excuse for a social place. Within 30 minutes, I started up a conversation with this guy near me, a handsome Middle Easterner, who was about 3 years younger than me. We wound up leaving after talking for about another 30 minutes to an hour. I told somebody that story and they looked shocked, "You got l**d at Alta Plaza? That's a first." I think the context of the comment was that there's a lot of looking and not much buying. Well, maybe that's why, when I again checked up on the place, it was no longer there. Too me, adult men in LOCKED cliques at watering holes are not much different than a bunch of petty high schoolers. I'm tempted to say "no loss."
Clique, sounds like a closed circle. But we do find ourselves in groups with greater, or lesser degrees of comfort. I think that's something different. I hope it is. Has anyone been to Short Mountain?
Senior Discount, I will put it on my list for next year! I have friends in Denver that go every year and have a blast! I went to Bourbon street once to the gay bars with an ex on a business trip and had a blast, so S.D. would be over the top! Well, we have lots of crazy festivals here in SF including Folsum Street Fair, Dorey Alley, Castro steet fair and SF pride! I have seen shit at those that would make Howard Stern blush! But I have also enjoyed Denver Pride, and Bear events like Lazy Bear in Guerneville, CA, Spring Thaw in Seattle, and I hear Provincetown shouldn't be missed. So many social events, so little time, lol.
Tightrope: I think you hit the nail on the head. "A lot of looking, but not much buying." This seems to happen to me all the time. I'll make eye contact with a guy on and off for 10 minutes, but neither of us make a move. Neither want to risk getting shot down. I find that guys in their 20's do this a lot, too. But I think they just want the attention. They sort of put themselves on display a bit...but don't usually plan on following up with you. That's sort of why I was surprised when the boy in his 20's danced with me for a good half-hour last weekend. LOL DesertTortoise, I have not been to Short Mountain. What is that? Californiacoast, I've heard some interesting stories about Folsom Street Fair! I want to try that very badly! While we're on the subject, I've actually been curious: Is the Castro scene crazy on any random weekend? I want to go sometime in 2014, but it may have to be during the "off" season. (If such a thing exists in San Francisco. LOL)
SD, the Castro scene is Crazy 24/7 365 days a year! I was in the Castro on Sunday, shopping with a straight friend of mine, and these two guys walk by with nothing but sequined socks on their penis's. Lol! It's always a party in the Castro everynight of the week. The best dance clubs are Badlands and Toad Hall. If you like to meet locals in a laid back sports bar then go to the Mix. 440 is the Daddy/boy bar and for non-drinkers the Castro Country Club. South of market or SOMA as locals say, is the Lonestar, the nations first Bear Bar. Next to that is the SF Eagle, very cool with the leather crowd. To answer your question, just pick your weekend, the Castro and SOMA will be rockin!
You seem the know the current roster in the Castro and SOMA. I've never been to SOMA or, at least, for that purpose. The streets are wider there, so traffic moves better ... Folsom St. included. So, Badlands endures. I've been in there once, and it seemed like a no-nonsense meat market. Mix. 440, eh? I've never heard of a daddy/boy bar. Who's chasing who? Castro Country Club for non-drinkers? How do they make their money? Is the Metro, on the second level and fairly prominent on Market St., still around? Here's another one: Pendulum - billed in some city guide as: for black men ... and their admirers. LOL.
Tightrope, I have moved a bit beyond the bar scene, only rarely visiting, lol. BUT, 440 has both boys looking for Daddy's and Daddy's looking for younger guys. My guess on ages is 20 somethings and 50 somethings. It's a fun packed place. Lots of woofing going on, lol. On the Castro Country Club, it is billed as a clean and sober environment, so they have a Pete's Coffee and Tea on sight..bit of a money maker, and lots of Castro community support. AA and Meth Anon meets there and they have lots of BBQ's and Movie nights as well as just a cool place to hang, drink coffe and smoke cigarettes, if that what you do. Seems to be alot of the SF gay community that partied hard in their 20s and are coming clean in their 40s and 50s? Have never heard of the Metro or Pendulum. Doesn't mean it might not be there tho. The Lookout is another fun place on upper Market. Great upper deck with a view of the parade of gay gays coming to and fro. The SF Eagle closed but reopened and has a great little bar area with a huge patio area. Quite the place to be on Sunday afternoon, as well as the Lonestar with Beer bust supporting local sports causes like the gay rugby team, the SF Fog. But don't stop with bars when you visit. The SF MOMA is amazing, also check out SF Opera if something good is playing. The Castro Theatre has some great film festivals and movies in a hellacool venue. Ok...I will stop with the Tourism board and Chamber of Commerce rant..lol ;-)
I could just imagine about the coming clean part. Pendulum is closed, and its closure seems to have made quite a few people unhappy. (I googled it). Metro was on a corner, on the north side of Market, where the streets sort of diagonally intersect it. It was upstairs, on a pointed corner. It was a middle-of-the-road crowd. It's been a while. I used to live in the exurbia of the area, so I know it well. I rarely went to the bars. There was so much to do and, if I went into the city proper, half the time it was to show a tourist around. You know THAT drill. The car probably had memorized tracks on which to do this! At any rate, the SF bars, from what I've seen of them, could be cliquish or people went in as free agents. It was all over the map that way.
