From Me to We

Wonderful post, greatwhale!! It is true, now that we've got the "numbers" behind us, obstacles--legal and otherwise--seem much more surmountable. When I think about the difference in public attitude from the Stonewall days and 2013, a chill rushes down my spine!!

 

I love it! And you're so right, I've been a little shocked this weekend to realize what a little GLBTQ utopia I seem to live in. Spent the last few days back east visiting family and attending a wedding and was so disappointed to witness so much intolerance and outright ambivalence. I might not have been necessarily shocked to witness it among my own age group or elders, but I was definitely under the impression that the younger generation was much more open and accepting. I was battling such prejudice and ignorance and it made me so sad.

Living in the SF Bay area has apparently given me a skewed image of what I thought was progress. It was disappointing to see how far there really is yet to go!

 

I LOVE it! It is our struggle. All of us.

 

Beautiful poetry, Mr. Whale.

My experience with the younger generations (and it is actually considerable) is that they understand that they should not be biased, and they don't like the idea of being biased. But they hear expressions like "that's so gay" (used to mean "that's stupid") and "faggot" (used to mean "jerk" or "doofus") and "let's play 'smear the queer'" (used to reference god-knows-what-kind-of-taglike-game, but certainly doesn't have anything to do with actually beating up LGBT people)...all from an age where they are too young to question the meaning behind the expression.

So those bits of language enter their vocabulary, along with the negative emotions embodied...and so the associations start to flow both ways (from the emotion to the expression, and from the expression to the emotion). Then they see some comic depiction of LGBT people in the media...or some hate crime...or hear some hateful language from friends, family, strangers, friends of family, or whatever, directed toward LGBT people...and then the associations really start to build...even though they know it's wrong and they shouldn't. Then some start to wonder *why* they shouldn't...if dad/Uncle Bob/Tom across the street hates these people, then maybe there's a reason.

So my point is that society is primed to feel differently about us. But there are still enough negative images, emotions, and (probably most importantly) language out there, especially in pockets, that there is still work for us to do.

It is a kind of beautiful moment when a newly-identified LBGT person starts owning their identity to the extent that they feel (a) the social impact of being queer and (b) the moral imperative to be part of the solution. Well done on reaching that stage, and on letting us all in on it. I have a great deal of respect for you...as I said before: you are a great whale!

 

Agreed. We are talking about OUR lives. It saddens me a bit that many in the crossdressing community want nothing to do with the LGBT community at large. It's a shame because, as always, it is a game of numbers...

 

Great post!

And yes, it's disappointing there is still prejudice among younger people... But is it totally unexpected? Even at this late date you could probably find (for example) young men who'd say a woman's only purpose is to clean his house and cook his dinner. Bigots will probably always be with us, alas.

 

And the thing is, it is such a narrow view of things. There is a WORLD of experience just beyond our doorsteps and many of us never crack the door, let along actually go through it. Often we are content within our own spheres and see no reason to venture out.

 

Definitely agreed with wanting an EC convention or at least social at some point (for this sub-forum, anyway, lol).

But although I have plenty of stories, I'm not sure I see myself as in a "war". This is life. And even straight people have their conflicts and craziness...conflicts and craziness I am SO glad I don't share...but there, nonetheless.

There is no enemy. We are not the enemy...we are us. Society is not the enemy...it's the solution...or maybe like Homer Simpson says of beer: "the cause of and solution to all our problems."

 

That was beautiful! Thanks for sharing it with us. As you know, I feel much the same. Never before has my life seemed to have so much meaning and purpose. I too am eternally grateful to and in awe of the many people who had the courage to come out in more challenging times or at a much younger age than me.

I am also occasionally disappointed by the prejudice and intolerance that seems to still exist among young people. However, I am much MORE frequently amazed and thrilled by how sensible and open-minded most young people seem to be today. I feel very optimistic for the future. One of the main reasons I felt the need to come out myself recently was that my young niece and nephew will soon be at an age when they will begin to hear the slurs and homophobic comments. I would like to think that now, when they do, knowing that they have a gay uncle (who is not a jerk) they will be more likely to oppose and denounce those offensive remarks. Soon, too, they will undoubtedly have classmates who themselves are struggling with their sexual identity and are, perhaps, being bullied, harassed or rejected because of it. I now think they will be more inclined to support and defend those classmates. Attitudes will be changed one person at a time, but once changed, I don't think they will ever go back...

 

How wonderful greatwhale! It IS great isn't it? We are real, authentic, living, and not at all alone.

Tonight I'm going to a local gay night out. Kinda interesting to realize that not only am I going with the guy I'm seeing, there will be other men there who are friends and its become a real hang out and community. Sweet!

 

BMC - you totally nailed it. The young people I encountered were completely and totally programmed into gender roles - which ALSO shocked and depressed me, just hadn't thought to include that fact here. But 20-somethings, guys objectifying women, making racist, sexist comments about women they've had in their beds, and girls hunting husbands. Both groups reacting equally and with such belligerence to any suggestion of bi/homosexuality.

And here I thought society was evolving.

 

I love it GW! Brings so much heartwarming appreciation for those that have paved the way. Plus the sense of togetherness that you have enveloped just gives me goosebumps!