Hi, I am new here and have been experiencing this for awhile. Wanted to see if others have had these feelings. I am about to be divorced for a second time. First husband addicted to Internet porn and other women. My present husband left me so he could have his freedom to date other woman. I have never had much luck with men. I am thinking there are no good men left like in my father and grandfather's day. I am 43 and still no luck. So I was wondering, any women out there ever thought about switching teams (different gender) because of having such bad relationships with men? I mean I am a christian and I have always been taught this is wrong. I have been attracted to couple of women before but mostly just women on TV. Don't really know if that makes me bi but it isn't the sex that interests me so much as it is the love or emotional relationship that those women have. Woman seem like they would be kinder, gentler in a relationship. I like men but I would like to know what real love is at least once in my life. The only men I have ever found are jerks. Does anyone think this is why we see so many older women turning lesbian, because of bad luck with men?:dry:
Hi Firelight, welcome to EC! I think I would speak for the majority here at EC by saying that there are no circumstances that can make one turn gay. You have been most unlucky in your marriages, but unhappy marriages do not cause homosexuality. Real love, honest, wholehearted love between two people, whether of the opposite gender or not, is absolutely possible between people who are mature enough to commit to the relationship wholeheartedly. You need to ask yourself, honestly, why you are questioning your orientation, is it really because you are fed up with louts who happened to be men, or is there something deeper that you have not yet acknowledged?
I'll echo the Great Whale, and add that when you really get to know them, there are a shocking number of female louts out there as well. Don't assume that all women are sweet and wonderful, or that you'd get a woman who is any more than you'd get a man who is. I would strongly recommend that you talk to a therapist about your struggles with men. If you *really* think you might be bisexual or lesbian, then make sure the therapist has a specialization in LGBT issues. A good therapist can help you tease apart your feelings and figure out if the issue is really your sexuality or whether there could be an issue with how you are approaching men, or with the kinds of men you are attracted to that is causing difficulty.
This is what good friends are for. You are going through a difficult time right now so it makes sense that you want that. But don't let this be the reason for trying a gay relationship. If you date a lesbian or bisexual she will want to be intimate, and if you're not interested in that...well, I don't think it would work out. I also don't think that older women turn gay, or if they do I don't understand it at all. I think most of them have been closeted for most of their lives and just can't do it anymore. That's where I'm at now, married to a man even though I've always been attracted to women. I was just trying to be "normal" and I think that's the case for a lot of older people who come out.
Thanks so much for all your posts. I think you are all right and I suppose until I get over this hurdle in my life , with my pending divorce, I really won't know because I am too emotional and against men at the moment. Thanks for your advice.
I'll agree - wholeheartedly - with Lindsey. I know that's where I'm coming from right now. Can't, WON'T, do it anymore, because I've finally reached that point where I just really don't care to be anything other than true to myself. And instead of considering this because it's a lesser evil or better alternative, I'm excited to finally be setting my soul free!
Each sexuality comes with its own set of obstacles and issues, and I'm sure most of us at one point or another would love to swap the ones we have for the ones we don't have. Lex
Can you look at a woman and want to kiss and touch her? If so, give women a try. BUT if you can not lust for the female form you're just going to have to work through your issues with men.
Or not, and just find a woman to share a platonic relationship with - I know plenty of women that have chosen the room/housemate route for companionship if they just don't want to be alone.
Hi, I can't talk about men, (I was born male) but never GOT what it was like, I married, because everyone told me I should, had kids because again it was the thing to do, but the love,feelings were never there, my problem in I LOVE women, I love their body, their feel, everything about them, men have never done a thing to me no zing,zip nothing, I'm a women traped in the wrong body, I'm working on changing the shell though, and someday hope to find that special lady that can be the other half of my heart.
