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Third time's the charm!!!!!

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by OneSpirit, Sep 16, 2013.

  1. OneSpirit

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So, I've mentioned before that I came out to my mom as bi when I was 16 or 17 and she promptly kicked me out. I was let back into the house on the condition that I "take it back". (Which I did, as at the time, felt I had no other options.)
    Came out to mom as gay when I was 21 and there were hours and hours of crying/screaming/ "why me". When she calmed down she explained to me "why I was wrong." We haven't spoken of it since. I leaped back in the closet after that one.
    Today we went out to breakfast - she knows I am getting divorced, but not why and asked me to tell her why. After more pushing I agreed to tell her at my house after breakfast.
    She came over & I made tea and she listened to everything I had to say (including "I am a lesbian") without interrupting, no yelling, no tears.
    When I was done she got up and hugged me, and I said "I'm sorry, I know this is hard for you." She looked at me and said "No. Don't apologize. You don't have to be sorry."
    She told me she loved me, and thanked me for telling her, and started brainstorming ideas of where I could get a job, telling me that everything is going to work out fine and that I am strong enough to handle all this. She said "I don't know why, but I am in a place where I can hear this right now."
    I think I am still in shock. I feel like I am in an after-school movie.
    WOW
     
  2. Onespirit, I am so happy for you!! I guess she has had numerous years to process things, and is (thankfully) finally coming around to your truth. Way to go, mom!!! :slight_smile:
     
  3. Dragonbait

    Dragonbait Guest

    WOOHOO for you! That is such a wonderful, happy ending. So glad for you that she finally came around. And good for you having the courage and fortitude to keep at it. My mother is similarly prone to histrionics when confronted with things she doesn't like and I'm still trying to get up the nerve to just tell her I'm getting divorced - can't imagine what it's going to take to come 'out' with anything else! And I really hope my telling doesn't take more than once. If it does, I'm sure one of us will be dead before I ever get up the guts to have a second go!

    So congrats! Are you feeling lighter already?
     
  4. Purplefrog

    Purplefrog Guest

    It's a good feeling, isn't it?

    I spoke to my mother a couple of days ago, and I feel so much better about everything, as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

    When I spoke to my Dad first of all over 10 years ago, he tried to tell me it was a phase and fed me all this weird psychobabble about attachment theory that it completely undermined what I was feeling and I reluctantly pretty much went back in the closet again with the impression my feelings weren't real. Being on here, watching the L word, meeting and speaking with lesbians, being accepted by my friends no matter what, have all really helped recently. But most of all, to know my parents accept me no matter what, despite what they have said in the past, both directly and indirectly (homosexuality is just "yuck"), has been the best.