I have been fussing internally for the past ten days or so with comments to my last post. I felt as if some were saying that there comes a time when you're too old to come out, especially if it means leaving a long-term relationship behind. To that concept, I would have to say....certainly not for me, and perhaps not for many others is it EVER too late. We should recognize what the "lookism" and ageism in our culture does to tell older LGBT folks that somehow you've missed the boat. Or, if your body isn't sculpted and possessing perfect skin, your life as an older gay person will be lonely and miserable. Hogwash!! Being gay is about possessing a gay soul. We are far more than just the sexual adventures that accompany our identity. We are born gay in every dimension of our being and that includes more than our sex organs. Possessing a gay soul is also about viewing the world differently....viewing human existence differently than straight people. We are born to rock the world with our intelligence, loving nature, fearlessness and creativity. Even if you NEVER partner with someone after coming out, you can be a member of the LGBT community and participate in the culture in many, many ways. While the process for me is not an easy path, I know that when I came out, the authentic self and the "created" self were healed into one soul. For the very first time in my life, I experienced wholeness. I have NEVER experienced such a rush...(and I grew of age in the 70's, so I have known some "rush" experiences). When I was in the closet, 20% of my attention was always on keeping my "gay" persona imprisoned. That only left 80% of me for whatever or whoever was in my presence. I don't know about you, but I couldn't live my life at the 80% level any longer. So, I will get down off my soap box now and conclude by saying that I LOVE older LGBT folks. They have survived a lifetime of homophobia and if they are willing to do the work, welcome to the identity! Our lives need you! You bring balance and wisdom. The gay movement needs people to be out, proud and fighting for acceptance, no matter their age. While I am clear that it is an individual by individual decision, NEVER accept that you shouldn't come out because of your age! There may be other reasons, but age is NOT one of them. Okay, I'm done! Thanks for listening!
Hi Ormanout! At 46 I have never felt happier. More free! More ME! It's never too late to come out! "While the process for me is not an easy path, I know that when I came out, the authentic self and the "created" self were healed into one soul. For the very first time in my life, I experienced wholeness" Yes! Love that!
Just got back from my second gay choir practice, it was work but mostly I had a blast, it's amazing what a few voices can do when they harmonize together, so much greater than the sum of parts, it's a miracle! What I loved about it is how unselfconsciously we lived just being gay, not thinking about it, not ignoring it, just going with the flow and living our own, common truth. That is precisely where I need to be, with companions who've been through "the struggle" and the "coming to terms" and trying to create something beautiful out of all this pain and all this joy; but with a lot of humour mixed in. That's the work you're talking about Ormanout; the work that demands something of us, that expects that we will work together, harmoniously, to forge an identity that makes sense for us, and to find and join others who are looking for the same thing.
