Childhood gay experience

A couple of thoughts:

1. You could very well be gay if your pattern only involves attraction to men. However, your behavior as a child is common to straight boys as well in many cases.
2. Have you ever been attracted to women? Was sex with them satisfactory?
3. You might consider therapy since you're at least honest and have done part of the work. I think that therapists who are neutral on sexual preference and don't try to push you in one particular direction, yet well versed in the topic of sexuality, possibly even as a specialty, are probably the most useful for a situation like this.

 

Well, I had early sexual experiences with girls. I remember kissing them, and 'playing' with each other, but I turned out gay. I am not sure that experiences when you are very young are all that meaningful. What matters is how you feel know. Do men or women turn you on? Or both? It really doesn't matter one way or another, and it doesn't have to be fixed or anything. Sex is there to enjoy, not get anguished over.

 

I wish there were newer studies. If these are from the 70's and 80's I wouldn't rely on them to much. I think the percentage of gay/bi men is a lot higher then the studies back then show too. I did find porn at a young age. But I was always into girls in school until high school. and my first was a girl too like DTS.

I wouldn't let it anger you.

 

Do you remember the experience as enjoyable?

This is important. I am not a strong believer in childhood experiences being causative of how you turn out. There is something to be said about a person's essential characteristics, with sexuality being one of them. Were you abused? Only you can answer that, but it is a separate question, not a causative factor.

I believe that the correlations cited above demonstrate only one thing: that early homosexual experiences are part and parcel of who you are since birth and that there are probably just as many, if not more, adolescent and adult homosexuals who have never had such experiences in childhood.

 

I would say explore intimacy with both sexes and see how you feel about it. It's entirely reasonable to be bisexual, or even free from such labels, and just go where your emotions take you.

Tumblr is your best friends, you can find anything from art to porn and at every stage in between. I often recommend guys explore picture of guys or boys cuddling on tumblr, just to get a sense of what that kind of intimacy is life. If it's something you desire, I say pursue it. Try a dating site if you're feeling up for it, there are at least people to talk to who have been in your shoes

 

BigEagle, we cannot say whether your early experiences were forced upon you or not. That is for you to explore. Some children are sexually aware at young ages like myself. I was 9 when I started coming on to a fella I knew who was knew to the experience of erections and stuff. I eventually got what I so desperately sought from him. Sexual intercourse. Not something I encourage others to do. Some of us are however, 'aware' at an early age.

 

Understood. You cannot turn back the clock. Also, if you enjoyed it, you enjoyed it. Did I enjoy messing around as a kid? Yes. Do I wish it did NOT happen? I wouldn't know. It happened. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I only understand the angst and wheel spinning that comes from looking for stuff on the internet for answers. I've done it to self-diagnose medical stuff, sometimes successfully. I've done it for psychological type labels. I've also done it to determine the basis of sexual orientation. Caution: On the latter, the right-wing groups must be paying money or God knows what to have THEIR listings come up to the top of searches, in venues like "conservapedia." At any rate, the studies mean something, but they don't explain everything and every case.

If this is causing you this much distress, it will continue to do so unless you get help. I recommend supportive help instead of self-diagnosis. One certainly doesn't need an individual who lacks empathy if you're struggling. While Clinton seemed phony when he said it and it has been imitated, I mean it when I say "I feel your pain." We've all experienced pain here. We've also all medicated it in different ways.

 

I'm glad this issue was brought up. I have always wondered about this myself. To the point where I have actually taken a poll of some of my gay friends about whether or not they had homosexual experiences at a young age. Most... to my surprise said no. That and the couple that I experimented with have grown to have heterosexual relationships.

I have read several of the studies that the others posted but I too feel those were done so long ago or skewed due to untruthful answers. Who knows?

Point being...what's done is done. I have gone thru the what if's and anger associated with childhood behaviors myself. All with inconclusive answers. I think we would be searching for an absolution that will never come if we dwell on childhood behaviors. Does it matter how you got to this point? or where you go from here? I guess that is something only you can answer. You are not alone on your journey tho

 

Correlation or not--causes are always complicated with many interacting variables, but my first sexual experience, beyond sharing masterbation, never left me. 11 or 12 years old. I even remember his name 60 years later. Oral sex, 69 (we didn't know what it was called!) but he quit and didn't want to finish. What was left undone in the flesh, was consumated many many thousands of times in fantasies over those 60 years!

 

It's interesting you bring this up. I, too, have sort of informally polled. Many gay/bi guys did not mess around with guys during their childhood and teenage years, and I believe them. They had no reason to lie. Some say they knew something was up. However, it typically happened during college, after entering the workforce, or while on a work related trip. For those who did so earlier, it was with a friend, a neighbor, a cousin, or on a group camping trip, for example. I'd almost say this one goes about 50:50. A strict religious upbringing, keeping real straight laced friends, guilt, and a late awakening can delay sexual experimentation.

 

What if it was rape/molestation?

 

As stated above correlation is NOT causation.

Some young'ns experience sex early, and if they're gay they will experience gay sex early. That is all this research indicates, there is no scientific basis to state that early sexual behaviour will dictate orientation, none whatsoever. If anything, this supports the idea that we are born this way.

 

This, right here... BULL:***: ! I can say this and finally admit that I once experimented with another male at the age 8 and I can honestly say; I am for the most part not FULLY Homosexual. (mostly because I never had any crushes on guys, and I have more guy friends than girl friends so I should have at least found SOMETHING but nothing) I could be Bi or something and am open to the possibility that I could in fact despite all the evaluations of myself be gay, but I would sincerely be floored if that day comes, regarding all the knowledge I have now on discovering ones sexual orientation.

 

I agree with greatwhale... correlation is not causation. Personally I've had somewhat of an opposite experience. When I was very young I remember having my first "sexual" experience with a girl my age... for some reason we started touching each others' private areas almost regularly and found it really exciting. This was with a GIRL. Then I never had any real romantic experiences with girls or guys (because I was repressing my homosexuality). I've been gay the whole time though. Almost zero desire for girls, even though I've been trying my darndest!

 

You enjoyed it back then, but what are your feelings now? Do you lean toward being attracted to men now? While childhood can have indications, it's not what you need to be basing your sexuality on now. I've read a lot of teen boys experiment sexually with other boys, so I would say you really need to focus on how you've been feeling throughout your adult life. Sexuality is generally defined by your predominant attraction.