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found this article Married gay bi men in heterosexual marriages

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by lostyrs77, Sep 26, 2013.

  1. lostyrs77

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  2. greatwhale

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    Excellent article, hits all the right topics accurately!

    Required reading for all of us "Later in Life" folk.
     
  3. DesertTortoise

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    Yes. Really good. I would like much more on 'redefining being a man,' this has been .. I mean, is so important to me. Not a side dish, but central. He doesn't touch on how all of this is POLITICAL, profoundly so, as anything that involves power and its distribution, is political. When we address this--redefining being a man, we are subverting the whole patriarchal power structure. Connecting the dots and finding the patterns is way important.
    I have a very different take on his advice to live alone while sorting things out. I suppose this would be true for men who still take our social/cultural/political hologram for reality--where the choices are living with one person, or living alone. I've living in consensus collectives and communes off and on for all of my adult life--that's going on 50 years, and live now in a warehouse with 16 other people. Living alone--and living with one other person is another way of living alone, I think is not at all healthy. We are social animals, and limiting intimacy to our sexual partner is one of the ways we destroy our sense of being a part of the human community, our feeling of solidarity that extends outward into the world through many concentric circles.
    I have been so fortunate, though being a poet, artist and activist, to have found my way into a supportive community, my beloved family of beautiful misfits! Coming out for me, was without the kind of trauma and stages of grief described in that article--the trauma was what I left behind!
    Off tonight for a long drive to a fall gathering of Radical Faeries. Life is good!
     
  4. Tightrope

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    Very all encompassing within its limited space. Good read.

    Naturally, some things strike a chord. With me, they were:

    - Religion telling people they are bad to the core and the pain it causes
    - Traveling alone to clear one's head and take stock of things
    - The usefulness of therapy (good therapy, though)
    - Why bisexual men marry and that the side dish means nothing to them other than added kicks
    - The concerns of the heterosexual partner of a bisexual who will wonder if they can please that partner (which is why the concept of "on the down low" exists)
     
  5. Spaceman

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    That really hit the nail on the head. Thanks lostyrs for the link. I was the kid who swallowed the programming of what my family/culture/society expected me to be. Now in the mid life crisis and working on building the strength to start over.
     
  6. greatwhale

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    Reading the article made me feel as if I had been, not in a closet all these years, but in a deep bunker; safe from the onslaught of AIDS. Then strange and remote signals started to filter through that it was safe to come out, starting with news of the (relative) effectiveness of HIV/AIDS treatments and then with the movie Brokeback Mountain that the article cites.

    I'm very much within that demographic...