Hi guys, Well, this weekend is going to be weird/tough. I have recently come out as 'I think I'm gay' to my wife and sister. This weekend we all go to my parents house - who think I'm happily married. I will talk to my sister and her husband about the situation but don't want to tell my parents yet. I am really stressing about the whole thing, my anxiety is high! Arrgghh.
You're already on the right track by telling some of the most important people in your life. May I ask how you think your parents would take it?
I imagine parents would be shocked! But so many people say their parents, especially the mum, might have suspected all along. I think the main response would be... why now? what about the baby? what will we tell our friends?!
I guess my question would be....how sure are you? Is there any major point in telling you parents this weekend? Not trying to discourage you from actually doing it, mind you. It just sounds as though you are still working through at least some of this in your mind, so perhaps they will respond better to it all once you are a little clearer about your feelings and thoughts and possibly plans? Telling your wife was important because she deserves to know; telling your sister was important because you need an ally. If telling your parents is going to add more stress to an already stressful situation, you could certainly defer it a little if it would allow you to breathe a bit. You have time. It's not like you're going to wake up straight tomorrow, after all!
I don't think you should tell your parents yet. You don't sound ready for that. Make sure your sister and her husband know that. When you do tell them don't say, "I think I'm gay," say "I am gay." And say it with confidence. Parents have a way of pressuring their kids into being a certain way. If they want you to be straight (and most parents want that for their children) they may jump on your uncertainty and make you feel even more confused. Come out slowly to the people who will be the most supportive and save parents and unsupportive people for when you are more sure of yourself. That's just my opinion anyway. I came out to my parents before I was ready and I ended up retreating back into the closet. Your experience could be completely different but I think a person needs to be on firm ground (emotionally) before telling parents.
Good Luck. I like your question because it reminds me that the biggest think I need to do is to Surrender to who I am and to Trust that all will work out. Btw when my mom and I talked about my sexuality she (86) said the didn't think anyone in the world is perfectly straight! Cheers.
Thanks everyone. I'm at parents house now, had a good chat with sister and have her full support. Not going to mention to parents until things are clearer. Been out for a run in the sunshine and feel much better!
