So I came out of my Girlfriend and mother of my child tonight. We were having a discussion about our waning sex life so I told her I had my own issues that were part of the problem. I paused.... and just said "I am attracted to men". There was a bit of silence which is unusual for my GF. I am always joking around with her so at first she thought I was just messing with her... took a moment to sink in. In the end she was Ok. We had a really good talk. She is a monogamist and I have never considered myself one. We had a long discussion about this. Hard to say where our relationship will go from here. We both know we love each other and I think we will be closer now that she knows. It certainly feels like a weight has been lifted. Its really nice to be able to talk to someone you love openly and honestly about something that has been hidden for so long. Thank you all for your support... its a wonderful community we have here. My journey goes on.
Congratulations! Hats off to you for having the courage to take this step. I look forward to the day when I'm ready to do the same.
That took some guts! Congratulations! Honesty is the rock-solid foundation of an authentic life, no matter where it leads!
What a roller coaster ride. Last night I felt great... what a weight lifted right. Well my GF was in shock. I had to leave early this morning I had to leave early for the day and we didn't really get to talk. When I got home my parents were over and we didn't get to talk until we got the kid to bed. Thats when she asked me if our conversation was real. Poor girl had spent the entire day in shock and I was unavailable. The reality has now set in for me. Can we make our relationship work? Can I give her everything she needs and still be happy myself? I don't know... I think I need an open relationship. Thats not her and I understand. Its funny because we are so compatible in every other way. We really do love each other. She is my best friend. Atleast we can have an honest relationship now. While its all scary I feel we are so much closer now that I can be completely honest with her. I am so lucky because she has been so supportive.
It is definitely a ride that's for sure. Been thru the same situation that you are going thru now. And if it was anything like mine....here come the questions. I'm just thinking out loud here on something that I picked up on. You say "she is your best friend, compatible in every other way, and so much closer." So what is it you are missing you think? Emotional bonding with a male or simply the sex? If it's the sex, is there something she can do to fill in the gap so to speak? You don't have to answer these I'm just giving you something to think about. Personally I'm not big on open relationships but to each their own. If the situation were reversed could you sit and home and be comfortable knowing your GF was with someone else? I guess welcome to the cursed world of being "bi" No matter what they say it doesn't help you get more dates on a saturday night. LOL! My advice would be to take things slow. Possibly you were carrying some guilt and just needed to free yourself by disclosing that to your girlfriend. You sound like you could possibly be happy where your at. Maybe try not dwelling on any of this for at least 21 days. (the length of time it takes to create a habit) Spend the time looking at the positives in your relationship. Those are some things to think about. Best of luck bud!!
I have gotten some of the most awkwardly weird questions from my wife. The obvious, like did you always know, why did we get married if you were gay, etc. Or, did you check out gay porn to see if it was "something you could even do". (I didn't tell her about the tapes I used to hide when she came over to my place before we were married!) But also some off the wall comments, like "please don't date any of the gay guys I know", all of whom are at least 20 years younger than I am (and one is still in high school). She also asked if maybe I was "just bi", and I told her that was not the case--although realistically, I'm not turned OFF by women, I just don't feel any overwhelming urge to have straight sex (although I'd be willing to under the right circumstances). I sure wasn't going to tell her THAT, of course. Definitely take it slow. This is new territory and you will need to figure out where the safe ground is!
