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Oh dear...

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by bigeagle, Oct 10, 2013.

  1. bigeagle

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    So, today I met 2 guys for a job interview. On the table was 2 salts, instead of 1 salt and 1 pepper. One of the guys says... "Oh no we've got two salts, that like 2 males, ooh... your not one of those are you...?"

    To which I replied.... "Not yet"!

    After a few more awkward comments, we carried on with the interview. This situation has bothered me all the way home. I am now questioning whether he suspected I was gay? I'm also paranoid that they would have laughed about the situation afterwards. I am obviously highly sensitive to this type of comments right now. This has knocked my confidence and I worry how I will feel if they offer me the work, maybe tomorrow.

    Ggggrrrrrr..... :/
     
  2. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    Do you really want to work in a potentially homophobic environment? In this economy I know its tough but you should feel comfortable being who you are in your work place.
    You might want to talk to the BBB and file a complaint. Legally they can't ask you about your sexuality & that was very unprofessional of the interviewers.
     
  3. Soddit

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    I don't think it's legally allowed to ask someone their sexuality. Like why should that matter in any job. I mean unless you're a porn star and you only sleep with a certain sex ._.
     
  4. bigeagle

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    Thanks Rose. It was one of those stupid 'bloke' comments. I don't think there was malice or intent behind it, but nonetheless it has upset me. One of them continued to ask 'background information' including whether I was married, have kids etc?!

    I realise this will happen many times in the years ahead...
     
  5. greatwhale

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    This should not have happened, it is illegal and it is wrong. And no, you should not be expecting this and if you should ever again be asked these sneaky, indirect, insulting, irrelevant and awkward questions, you are within your rights to ask, simply and politely, whether this has anything to do with the job as advertised.
     
    #5 greatwhale, Oct 10, 2013
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2013
  6. bigeagle

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    Thanks great whale. I was totally surprised and wish I had responded with a better answer. I've been wondering whether I'm just being very sensitive. If I'm offered the work, then I need to forget about this and be strong. They have no right to know about my personal life.
     
  7. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    When I was a "strait" girl I had a boss who asked me if I was "One of those radical militant feminist lesbians" after I said his joke was offensive. I got an apology and a bonus a few weeks later after I filed a complaint against him. I slowly lost my voice over 20 or so years...Now getting it back.
    Don't lose your voice BigEagle! (*hug*)
     
  8. bassmaster

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    I've found that hiding my sexuality all these years has given me sort of a paranoid/ocd type condition. I constantly re-read texts, emails, etc.. to make sure I didn't say anything that would lead someone to believe I was gay. Or I tend to over-analyze or read into something that isn't really there. I feel like by hiding, it alters my perception. Giving me the feeling that somebody knows. Or they are acting funny around me, they must know something. Something like that anyway. Hard to explain. But kind of like what you were explaining I think.
     
  9. bigeagle

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    Yes bass master. One thing is pretty sure... I have given this situation far more thought time then either of the 2 guys. The most likely reality is this was a "throw away comment" and I have taken it to heart, because of my current situation. I need to accept that some people make these comments - maybe he is homophobic due to repressed desires of his own?!

    ---------- Post added 10th Oct 2013 at 08:39 PM ----------

    Rose... I need to learn about speaking up for myself. I guess I'm very vulnerable right now - I will become stronger!
     
  10. bassmaster

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    Yes....I'm guessing because of your current situation it has made you a little more sensitive. Look at it this way. When was the last time somebody said something or walked away from you and you had thoughts of them for more then a second, a minute, or not at all. I have this problem now and then and just have to tell myself....I'm sitting here wasting energy while the other person has forgot and moved on. Let it go and just enjoy the rest of the day :slight_smile:
     
  11. bigeagle

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    Yep, let it go and move on. Let go, move on. Thanks everyone! EC therapy works!