I have the most confusing sexuality ever =(

Hey guys, hope everyone is doing well. I need some help, I identify as bisexual most of the time but for the past 2 years or so I feel like I'm leaning over to women more emotionally. I'm also married to a wonderful man who I do enjoy being intimate and I overall do enjoy my marriage.

But it just seems like my fantasies, are mostly about women. Not sexual fantasies but just having fun in general. I tend to repeat moments where I have felt connected to friends over again in my head. I rarely think about my husband during the day unless I see something that reminds me of him. I used to think about him a lot when we 1st started dating, but now not really...I guess this is somewhat normal?

I also keep getting these thoughts of kissing my girl friends when I feel close to them. I seem to do this an awful lot, and it's kind of annoying. I just feel all warm and gushy when I think if my girl friends. I still feel that way for my husband but its not as intense as before.

I have also been with both men and women in relationships. I'm not sure if I actually gave a fair chance to women as I was a lot younger and I was more attracted to men at the time.

Any input would be appreciated. Thanks for reading =)

 

Well, there are differing schools of thought - that your fantasies are either the taboo, or just to fill in the blanks of what you're missing in your day to day life, or are your repressed desires trying to break through. Some of them represent things you'd really like to do, others represent things you'd never do in RL, but the naughtiness of it appeals.

The "not thinking of him" as much as before is hardly surprising - welcome to the effects of long term commitment. Ever heard of lesbian bed death? I think the blahs transcend all orientations.

Here's an applicable article I just started reading today - was sneaking glimpses from the bleachers during my son's water polo games, trying not to get spotted by the other parents. Needless to say, I haven't finished it yet, but might be worth a read - can't really tell yet.
The 6 Most Common Secret Sexual Fantasies -- And What They Mean | Alternet

 

I think it's to fill in the blanks of what I'm missing. I find my life a bit boring if I don't have a woman around. Literally, any woman that speaks to me and that I can relate to I will latch onto and make her my world. I've actually always been like this. I was like this with my best friend in high school, she was on my mind 24/7 then I met my husband and he was all I could think about. Then things calmed down and I was back to thinking of women/other men.

My fantasies with women aren't really sexual and if they are, I can't really get off to them...I've tried a few times. Sexual fantasies with men are mostly emotional. When I was with women in relationships and such it was great in the beginning (emotionally) but the sex was kind of weird. I would only do stuff so I could get something back in return. Then it was would just intensely boring.

God, this sucks, I'm so complicated =(

 

Thanks you for your responses. How was one deal feeling this way? It seems like I'm always bouncing back and forth. Some days I feel like a fraud to my husband and other days I'm all over him and liking men again...