This Sucks

(*hug*)Biotech- I'm so sorry about your Dad's diagnosis & girlfriend situation. (*hug*)

 

I am so sorry. My mother died of stomach CA. It had metastasized all over her body, including the liver, before she died. I wish I could offer advice or assurance. All I have is the experience that knowledge of the illness of any loved one is a gift which allows us to treat them and tell them the joy and beauty that they brought to our lives while they are still with us. ANY time with your dad is a gift. Furthermore any gf who is less than supportive... As has been said to me-- is that really a friend. I certainly am here anytime you wish to commiserate.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this tough time. (*hug*)

 

Hey Biotech. I'm sorry to say I'm not of much use to you for support or encouragement right now, maybe a bit too much of same sh*t different person? But I am all yours if you're looking for someone to commiserate. You're right, this sucks, big time! I am so sorry for your Dad and for you.

I guess all I've really got to offer are my true feelings, and right now they are most easily expressed by this:

 

Darn. Hugs to you.

 

My heart goes out to you Biotech! In all relationships there is the good and the bad, but nevertheless, relationships are key to our happiness. And happiest are those who keep trying to find love.

Just want you to know that I am thinking of you in this difficult time and hoping for the best for your Dad.

 

Sorry to hear about your dad. Please keep us posted on his prognosis. I do not have experience with liver cancer, but my mom died of lung cancer many years ago. She lived a year and a half after diagnosis, and, as Lovetoski said, that time was incredibly precious and valuable to show each other how much we loved each other and to prepare for a future without her (my brother and I were in our early twenties).
Sorry to hear about your girlfriend, too, and glad that your boss is accepting!

 

I want to get in line to give you a hug, Biotech. I don't know anything about liver cancer. I'm so sorry about your dad's diagnosis but I'm glad you're local, as much pressure as that puts on you. It's better to be there and be able to spend the time.

That's great news about your boss. (One of my coworkers started a similar conversation with me last week and I came out to her. Even though she knew anyway, it's good to have it out in the open).

Finally, that's too bad about your girlfriend. I'd say- focus on the positives about the relationship and try to let the rest go. At least you got sexy time and experience with her, right? You'll meet someone else to share that with and who can also meet your other needs.

Thinking of you.

 

BioTech: I'm so sorry about your father. What devastating news. Try to hang in there and be strong. You've got all of us here rallying behind you.

---------- Post added 19th Oct 2013 at 09:20 AM ----------

Also, congrats on coming out to your boss! What COURAGE!! I only wish I could do the same.

 

Bio, I am so sorry to hear about your father. My mothers cousin died of liver cancer. He was actually my gay role model growing up. He, his partner, and his parents went on a tour of the country after he was diagnosed and swung by to visit my family. I can't say I know much about the disease tho.

My mother was diagnosed several years ago now with a rare blood disorder. Her prognosis was not good. It really does make you appreciate the time you have with them all that much more. Luckily for us my mother has been some sort of miracle patient and has had many wonderful years since being diagnosed so I guess you never know. Its been so long I sometimes forget. It brings back those emotions again. I think I'll give her a call.

Best of luck to you and your father.

 

Um if you are numb with your Dad's situation how do you think 2 deaths make her feel?

I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship, but with a cancer diagnoses, two deaths right now is not a good time to pop the 'Let's get a divorce' load.

Stress affects different people differently... Some people are actually quite resilient and can stand up under loads of stress, others tend to fall apart at the slightest hint of stress.

Right now you both are in a very delicate place. Psychologically you are at the peak of risks when it comes to mere grief becoming a life long depression/anxiety disorder. These events are also traumas and right now both of you are at the peak of when a trauma can lead to PTSD.

I strongly suggest you remain silent for a while - settle the Cancer thing first - let her process through the grief.

Grief overload is not a good place to be.

I strongly suggest you seek a Grief Counselor type counselor to assist you in dealing with the emotional aspect of what is on your plate. Do not make rash choices, stop - breath - and allow a bit of time to go by before you act on a thought.

Death, dealing with cancer diagnosis, ending a job, ending a relationship puts a person through a 5 stage process - its often related to only the 5 Stages of Grief (as in death) but those stages apply to a lot of situations. Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Depression, Acceptance.

You both have stuff to run through this process through already.

 

Biotech, I'm so sorry about your father. My partner recently lost her father to a form of blood cancer...not the same, but I suspect similar in many ways.

But *congratulations* on coming out to your boss, and a whole separate *congratulations* on his positive response! That must feel so amazingly freeing!

*hugs*